How to Make Your Boyfriend Jealous

Co-authored by Michele Fields

Last Updated: June 13, 2022 References

Have you found that your guy has been a little distant or preoccupied lately? If so, it may be time to remind him of the incredible girlfriend you are. One way to grab your boyfriend's attention is to make him jealous, but always take caution with this because you don't want to send him the wrong message. The best way to make your boyfriend jealous is not by being cruel, but having a great time without him. Ultimately you want to focus on having a healthy relationship with him and with others.

Part 1

Part 1 of 2:

Making Him Jealous

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Spend more time with your friends. The best way to ignite a healthy jealousy in your boyfriend is to show him that you don't need him to have fun. Have a great time with your friends and if he asks you about it later tell him how much you missed hanging out with them and how you desperately need time with your friends. You want to give him the impression that you're perfectly happy and having fun without his presence.^{[1]
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- Call your friends, head out to a club, or do something that you all enjoy together. Have a girls' night out. If you're feeling neglected by your boyfriend, spending time without him is a great way to make him miss you, but it's also a good opportunity to distract you from any hurt you may be feeling by his neglect.
- Don't just use friends to make your boyfriend jealous. No one wants to be friends with someone they feel is just using them to make others jealous. Take time to care for your friends and do actually spend a lot of time with them -- you want them to still be around if your relationship ends.
2
Keep your cool. If the reason you want to make your boyfriend jealous is because he's making you jealous by talking or texting with other people, then the first thing you need to do is stay calm. If he's trying to get a rise out of you, going on a rant and getting angry is exactly what he wants you to do. Instead, be chill and act like you're above it.^{[3]
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- It's possible that your boyfriend is flirting with other people, and doesn't even realize it, so give him the benefit of the doubt and try talking to him about it if it's really bothering you. Make sure the conversation with him is very gentle and understanding, not accusatory or heated.
- If you see him talking to other people and he just want to get a rise out of you, the best way to respond is to act like nothing strange is happening. Go talk to someone else, or if he's talking to a people right in front of you, jump into the conversation and be super friendly with her. This will probably throw him off because it shows that you don't care if he talks to other girls. Also, if this is the way your boyfriend regularly acts, you might want to ask yourself why you are dating him in the first place.
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3
Wait to respond to him. To keep your boyfriend on his toes wondering what you are doing, try giving it some time after he texts or calls you to respond. Don't go overboard (like waiting a few days) but if you missed a call from him, don't call him back until an hour or two has passed.^{[4]
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- If your boyfriend asks what you were doing, make it sound like you were doing something really fun and exciting. You may be tempted to be short with him, but that's likely just going to frustrate him and make him feel like you are uninterested in talking. Make him feel like he's missed out on doing something really fun.
- Alternatively, you can stop texting him.^{[6]
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- If you interact with him he will know that he has got you.^{[7]
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- He may become jealous if you do not contact him.^{[8]
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4
Hang out with other 'guy' friends. Flirting with other guys is tricky, and can cause your boyfriend to feel angry or territorial, but hanging out with guy friends is innocent and effective. Spend time alone with your guy friends, doing things that you really enjoy together and having great conversation. Then if your boyfriend asks about your time go easy on the details -- this will make him wonder about the extent of your relationship. ^{[9]
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- Your boyfriend may not think anything of you hanging out with guy friends, so make it clear that these guy friends are really close to you and know how to make you laugh. If your boyfriend is oblivious, spend extra time with your guy friends until he begins to notice that you're trading time with him for time with your friends.
- Another good idea is to invite your guy friends to hang out with you and your boyfriend. If your guy friends get along better with your boyfriend than with you, this may not be very effective. But if you are close to your guy friends then act playful around them in front of your boyfriend. Don't flirt excessively, but give them a tender hug when they show up and compliment them on their style. You can try telling your boyfriend something like "You should get your hair cut like so-and-so" or "I really liked so-and-so's outfit; you should dress like that more often."
5
Do his favorite things with someone else. Maybe your boyfriend loves the chocolate chip cookies you make or he's really into baseball. Instead of making him his favorite recipe or buying him tickets to his favorite sporting event, bake for someone else and do activities with someone else. This doesn't have to be another guy, but it does help.
- If you bake cookies for someone else, send him a text saying "freshly baked cookies" with a picture of the cookies, and then if he asks tell him you made them for so-and-so. Then, even if you have any extras, tell him that you don't.
- If he's really into sports, purchase tickets and go to a game with someone else and then send him a picture or Snapchat of you at the game. Try doing this with someone who would actually enjoy the event you're going to, so it's not obvious that you purposely left your boyfriend out of it.
6
Make a big change in your appearance. One effective way to grab your guy's attention is to look amazing. Change something up about your hair, style, or start exercising so that your body will look really fit. The most important thing is to look and feel confident, because confidence in a woman can be one of the most attractive things to a guy.
- Change your hair. Make your hairstyle more modern and sexy, trim it or add hair extensions. Dye your hair a drastic different color, or give it a little highlight. Curl your hair if you usually keep it straight, or straighten it if it's usually curly.
- Buy sexy clothing such as shorts, tight dresses, crop tops, skinny jeans and high heels. Some boys find a tracksuit sexy too. Or, do the opposite and wear an outfit that's very classy and sophisticated, showing him that you are totally confident in your body shape and in who you are.
- Do your makeup differently. Try going for a smoky eye look by using black eye liner and using different shades of gray eye shadow if your makeup is normally more subdued. Of if you usually wear your makeup heavier during the day, try going for a more natural glow that accentuates your best features.

Part 2

Part 2 of 2:

Maintaining a Healthy Relationship

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Remember communication is key. If your boyfriend is making you jealous and isn't paying attention to you, talk to him about it. Don't accuse him of anything, but try to have a mature conversation about how it makes you feel in the relationship. Catch him at a time when he seems calm or relaxed -- you don't want to bring up a difficult subject when he's already had a hard day. ^{[10]
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- Relationships are partnerships, and they involve compromise and sometimes sacrificing things for one another. If you feel you give and give and your boyfriend doesn't treat you well, it may be time to consider ending the relationship.
2
Explain to your boyfriend that you feel neglected. If you feel your guy is being a little hands-off or distant then tell him that you don't feel cared for very well. Encourage him to be more affectionate and passionate when you're together, instead of trying to bring it out of him with manipulation.
- If you think he might be bored in the relationship, get more creative with your activities. Do things that he really enjoys and keep the relationship at a steady pace. It could be good to ask him if he's bored with you in particular or just with how the relationship is going. That will help give you a lot more insight on how to spice up things.
3
Stop trying to manipulate each other. If you feel the need to act a certain way to make your boyfriend jealous, it's a bad sign. It means you're not communicating openly and your relationship is in bad shape. Even if you're successful in making your boyfriend jealous, you run the risk of your boyfriend ending the relationship instead of becoming more passionate. If you want him to pay attention to you, tell him you need him to be more committed and you can't last in a relationship that's only one-sided.
4
End your relationship if it's going poorly. If your boyfriend doesn't pay attention to you, it's likely he's lost attraction to you or has become complacent in the relationship. Evaluate the relationship and the type of guy he is to figure out if it's worth working things out or if it would be better to break it off.^{[11]
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Community Q&A

Question

How do I stop my boyfriend from cheating on me and also making me jealous about it?

Community Answer

If he cheats, he isn't worth your time, effort or love. Remove yourself from the negativity.
Question

What should I do if my boyfriend cheats on me?

Community Answer

Respect yourself and break up with him.
Question

My boyfriend and I love each other but sometimes I don't feel that he loves me. Why is that?

Community Answer

People don't always express love in ways that we want them to. You might feel most loved when he is kind or protective of you, while he expresses love in another way. Let him know what makes you feel loved and ask him the same question.