How to Find Out if a Guy Secretly Likes You

Co-authored by John Keegan and Glenn Carreau

Last Updated: February 13, 2023 References

If you think a guy might secretly like you, what can you do to know for sure? Luckily, there are many subtle signs when a guy is interested in someone. Pay special attention to his body language, how he talks to you, and how he behaves when you're around. Read on for a detailed list of signs that a guy secretly likes you, so you'll know when to make your move!

Things You Should Know

Look for signs in his body language like eye contact and leaning in towards you while talking. He’ll also initiate more physical touch between you.
Study his behavior, including the time between text responses and how jealous he seems when other guys are mentioned.
Consider signs of his affection in conversations; he’ll likely ask lots of questions to get to know you better and give you heartfelt compliments.

1

He makes eye contact with you.

Prolonged eye contact is a sign that he's into you. The next time you see him, catch his gaze and see if he stares back or looks away. Most people only make eye contact for about 4 to 5 seconds at a time while chatting. So, if he holds your haze longer than that, he might like you!^{[1]
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- Conversely, some people are uncomfortable with eye contact. If you know he's shy, don't be discouraged; there are other signs that he might like you.
- If you're nervous, ask him a question so you have an excuse to make eye contact. You could say, "How far are you on last week's assignment?" or "Do you know what the cafeteria is serving today?"

2

He smiles when he sees you.

It’s natural for people to smile when they see someone they like. So, if your guy likes you, it'll be obvious that he's super excited to see you. Watch his face when you walk into the room to see if he smiles. A big, joyful grin is a sign that he likes you, and he'll probably smile and laugh his way through whole conversations with you.^{[2]
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- Look at how he smiles at other people, too. Does he act that way with everyone, or does he seem especially happy to see you?

3

He checks you out when you're not looking.

Guys with a crush spend a lot of time looking at the person they like. He might not even realize how obviously he’s admiring you! Try to catch him in the act by looking over at him suddenly. If you see him staring and he looks away quickly while blushing or smiling, it means he likes you.^{[3]
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- Only check once or twice each time you're around him. If you glance at him often, he may think you're staring at him.
- Alternatively, ask a friend you trust to check and see if he's looking at you. They can steal a glance and report back to you.

4

He leans in when you talk.

A guy who's into you will want to get close to you. A guy who's into you will be interested in what you have to say. Therefore, he'll lean in towards you whenever he's talking to you. Take a look at his body language to see if he's angled toward you. Then, shift further away from him and see if he tries to get closer. If he does, he's probably crushing on you.^{[4]
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5

He mirrors your movements.

Guys tend to mirror people they like unconsciously. Mirroring is when someone subtly copies you, adapting a similar tone of voice and making the same movements with their body. Is he mimicking your posture? After you make a small gesture, does he do the same thing seconds later? If so, he might like you!^{[5]
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- Try turning your head to look at a window or an object in the room. Does he do the same? A guy with a crush might also look where you look because he's hyperaware of your movements.

6

He brushes up against you.

He'll come up with reasons to touch you when he wants to be closer. Physical touch is a crucial way to show affection, and a guy with a crush will look for any excuse to do it! Notice if he touches your arm, bumps into you, or moves to stand next to you. Hugs are also a solid sign he likes you.^{[6]
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- He also won't pull away when you enter his personal space. He'll encourage small touches and even lean into them if he likes you!
- If a guy ever touches you in a way you don't like, remember that you can always tell him to stop because it makes you uncomfortable. Get someone you trust to help if he won't listen.

7

He seems nervous or awkward.

He's trying to make a good impression but getting nervous about it. Talking to a crush can be nerve-wracking! A normally smooth-talking guy might stumble over his words or mess up a sentence. If he has trouble stringing a sentence together with you but seems at ease around others, he's likely crushing on you.^{[7]
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- For instance, he might suddenly give short or yes/no answers when he normally likes to talk. Similarly, he might stutter or forget what he wanted to say.
- Look for other nervous ticks, too. He might crack his knuckles, scratch his head, or fidget as a sign of nerves while talking to you.

8

He talks to you every day.

A guy who likes you won't wait around to hear from you. As a result, he won't hesitate to reach out and chat you up at every opportunity. Think about how often he initiates contact by walking up to you, making plans, or sending a quick text. If he does it at least as often as you (if not more), he might like you.^{[8]
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- For example, he might sit next to you in class and say, "How's it going?" or "How did you do on the last test?"
- Alternatively, he may text you out of the blue on a Saturday night and say, "What are you up to?" or "You busy tomorrow? I thought we could do something!"

9

He wants to be physically close to you.

He'll go out of his way to get close because he likes you so much. When you’re hanging out together, he won't leave until you do. He'll always stick close to your side, whether you spend time together alone or in a group. He might even spontaneously show up places he knows you'll be just so he can see you.
- For example, he might show up at your favorite cafe or arcade because he knows you like it there.
- If you're both at a party, he'll be there as long as you are—even if other friends leave first. He might even offer to walk or drive you home.
- He'll also try getting to know your friends. Since he likes you, he wants your friends to like him too!

10

He asks you lots of open-ended questions.

When a guy is into you, he'll want to learn about your life. Open-ended questions require more than a "yes" or "no" answer, allowing you to give an in-depth explanation. Take note if he asks you many personal questions about anything and everything, including your likes, dislikes, and background. It means he's trying to get to know you better—down to the tiniest details.^{[9]
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- He might ask questions like, "What do you do in your free time?" "What are your favorite bands?" "Do you have any pets?" or "How many siblings do you have?"
- Ask him questions, too! If he's showing interest, exchanging questions is a great way to learn more about one another and strengthen your bond.

11

He doesn't talk about other crushes with you.

When a guy likes you, he'll try to downplay the competition. Consider how often you hear him mention other people besides his close friends and family. If you're a girl, he probably won't talk about other girls often, and the same goes if you're a guy. He wants you to know you're the only one he's interested in!^{[10]
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- In fact, your guy might even drop hints that he's single. Comments about his relationship status like, "I'm still looking for the right person," or "I'm still flying solo" signal his availability.

12

He compliments you.

He won't be able to resist giving you compliments if he likes you. Observe how often he compliments you and what kinds of compliments he gives. Then, listen for compliments that he gives to other people. He's likely crushing on you if he compliments you frequently compared to others and admires the smaller details that other people miss.^{[11]
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- For example, if you change your hairstyle, your guy will be the first to notice and say, "Wow, you're looking amazing today!" Try complimenting him, too!
- He might give other compliments about your looks, like, "Those glasses look cool!" or "I like that band t-shirt. Where'd you get it?"
- He'll also compliment deeper things like intellect and talents. He might say, "You're so smart! I don't know anyone who reads as fast as you," or "You're definitely the best flute player in band, you know."

13

He's supportive of you.

When a guy likes you, he'll try to prove that you can rely on him. Telling someone outright that you like them can be scary, so instead, a guy might show you that he likes you by offering encouragement, showing interest in your passions, standing up for you, and giving help when you need it. He's trying to say that he's got your back no matter what because he likes you.^{[12]
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- For example, he might help you with your homework, offer to carry your stuff, or offer to fix your car.
- Similarly, he might give you advice when you’re unsure about something or offer a shoulder to cry on when you’re going through a hard time.

14

He's an attentive listener.

He'll give you his full attention because he finds you fascinating! A guy who likes you won’t play on his phone or get distracted while you talk; instead, he’ll want to hear everything you say. Be on the lookout for signs that he’s actively listening to you. If he never interrupts and makes encouraging sounds like “Mhm” and “Go on,” it means he’s totally focused on you.^{[13]
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- You'll also notice that he remembers your answers. He might buy your favorite snack for you out of the blue or ask to borrow a book you mentioned liking to prove that he listens to you.
- Does he remember something you told him long after you forget mentioning it? It's a big sign that he likes you when he does that.

15

He asks for your opinion.

Asking your opinion means he respects you and wants to impress you. Notice how often he asks you for your input or advice to see if he likes you. He might ask you how he should style his hair or which shirt he should wear to a special event. Additionally, he might ask for advice on tackling homework or what movie to watch with friends.
- When a guy likes you, he'll also show you that he took your advice. For example, he might show up the next day wearing whatever shirt you picked or rave about the excellent book you recommended.

16

He seems jealous of other guys.

He'll get jealous if he thinks there's someone else you might like. Bring up a guy friend of yours, then see how he reacts. Does he ask a ton of questions about the other guy? If he likes you, he'll probably be jealous when you mention someone else—and question you to learn more about the mystery guy and your friendship with him.^{[14]
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- He might ask, "Who's Matt?" "How long have you known Matt?" "What does Matt do?" or "Do you and Matt hang out often?"
- If you're interested in dating this guy, handle the jealousy and tell him that your friend is just a friend, not someone you're interested in dating. Otherwise, he might think you're dating someone else.

17

He texts you back fast.

Texting fast is his way of showing you how much he likes talking to you. Therefore, he'll respond as soon as possible if he's crushing on you. Notice if your guy is always quick to reply and offers excuses when he goes quiet for a while. If he likes you, this could be a sign of his crush.^{[15]
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- For instance, he might respond to a text immediately (or within a few minutes). If his reply takes longer than 10 minutes, he might add, "Sorry for the delay. I'm working right now!"
- Remember that it's normal to encounter a delay in responses during work and school hours.
- He'll also send texts casually checking in and asking you how you're doing; it's his way of staying closely in touch with you.

Expert Q&A
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Question

How do you tell if a man is attracted to you but hiding it?

Candice Mostisser
Dating Coach
Candice Mostisser is a Dating Coach for NYC Wingwoman LLC, a date coaching service based in New York City. 'NYC Wingwoman' offers matchmaking, wingman/wingwoman services, 1-on-1 coaching, and intensive weekend bootcamps. She specializes in coaching others on best practices and strategies to succeed on first dates and in the online dating world.

Candice Mostisser

Dating Coach

Expert Answer

Support wikiHow by unlocking this expert answer.

If a guy sits with his knees pointed towards you when you two are sitting at a table, that may be a subtle indicator he likes you. Also, if he generally seems excited and happy to talk to you, this is a good sign!
Question

Does he secretly have a crush on me?

Candice Mostisser
Dating Coach
Candice Mostisser is a Dating Coach for NYC Wingwoman LLC, a date coaching service based in New York City. 'NYC Wingwoman' offers matchmaking, wingman/wingwoman services, 1-on-1 coaching, and intensive weekend bootcamps. She specializes in coaching others on best practices and strategies to succeed on first dates and in the online dating world.

Candice Mostisser

Dating Coach

Expert Answer

Support wikiHow by unlocking this expert answer.

Does he regularly strike up conversations or message you without being prompted? If so, the answer may be yes!
Question

I’m thirteen, if I sit on my boyfriend's lap, is that seen as being sexual? (We are both in the same school.)

Danielle Husband

Community Answer

Some people may view it as sexual if you sit on his lap. While you don't need to let other people's opinions shape your behavior, it can also be hard to deal with people making rude comments to you. Think about what you really want before you make public displays of affection, then make choices that are right for you.