How to Get Noticed by Your Crush

Co-authored by Kelli Miller, LCSW, MSW

Last Updated: February 17, 2023 References

Sometimes, it can feel like we're invisible to the people we like. They keep dating people who break their hearts or they pine for someone to like them at all, not realizing that you're right there! If you want to catch your crush's eye, this wikiHow can help. Get started with Step 1 below.

Part 1

Part 1 of 5:

Look Nice

1
Take good care of yourself.^{[1]
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Research source} Take good care of your body.^{[2]
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Research source} This not only makes you more attractive and you shouldn't have to change for your crush, but helps your crush see that you think you're worth caring about and know how to take care of yourself. Shower, keep your hair tidy, and exercise (for good health, not weight loss).
2
Smell amazing. A great smell is really attractive to people. You don't need a lot of perfume or cologne, either. Just shower regularly and use deodorant. A little body spray can come in handy if you really want to smell amazing enough to get their attention.^{[3]
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3
Dress great! Stop wearing clothes that are torn, stained, out-of-date or don't fit your body or body shape. Dont wear the same clothes over and over again. This makes people think you lack self-worth, since it shows you don't think you're worth taking care of. Wear clothes that look great on you...and don't grab the ones looking like they came off your dirty bedroom floor!^{[4]
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4
Act confident.^{[5]
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Research source} Confidence is very sexy!^{[6]
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Research source} Everyone likes someone who's confident! Of course, you only have to make people think you're confident. Everyone is a little self conscious. Make sure you never talk down about yourself and speak up for yourself when you have an opinion. Let yourself be in control of situations from time to time and talk to the people you want to talk to. If you act confident, people with think you love yourself.^{[7]
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Expert Source

Kelli Miller, LCSW, MSW
Psychotherapist
Expert Interview. 11 June 2020.} That's what people are into more than beauty.^{[8]
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Part 2

Part 2 of 5:

Being Noticeable

1
Follow your passions. If you want to be noticeable to your crush, you have to make everyone else notice you too, not saying you have to be popular! Get out of the shadows and start by following your passions and achieving your goal. Do the things that make you happy and do them without feeling worried about what other people think of it.^{[9]
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Expert Source

Kelli Miller, LCSW, MSW
Psychotherapist
Expert Interview. 11 June 2020.} People will admire your dedication and you'll be happy about it, knowing you just did something amazing!^{[10]
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2
Learn a new skill. Learn a new skill that you want in order to get people to see just how amazing you really are and how dedicated you are. You can teach yourself to play an instrument or take up another skill, like running track or something else that you want to do. Just do something you've always wanted to fulfill!
3
Be social. Of course, getting people to notice you means that you have to actually talk to people you think you could be friends with. Get out there and be more social. Go to events with your friends, make some new friends, and get involved in things that are going on.^{[11]
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4
Live your life!^{[12]
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Expert Source

Kelli Miller, LCSW, MSW
Psychotherapist
Expert Interview. 11 June 2020.} The most important thing is to get up off the couch and start living your life loud and proud.^{[13]
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Research source} If all you do is sit around, you're going to be bored, and probably to other people as well as your crush, might think you want to be alone.

Part 3

Part 3 of 5:

Developing a Friendship

1
Spend time with them. How is your crush supposed to notice you if you're hiding in the shadows all the time? Get out there, talk with them, hang out, and let them get to know you as well as you getting to know him/her. This is a great step towards really getting to know each other.
2
Get to know them. Get to know them for who they really are and not who they pretend to be.^{[14]
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Expert Source

Kelli Miller, LCSW, MSW
Psychotherapist
Expert Interview. 11 June 2020.} Spend time talking to them about the things that really matter to them, such as their dreams for the future and the beliefs about politics or religion. This shows them that you really care about them, not just who you think they are.^{[15]
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3
Share their passions. Find something to bond over (for example, if they are in a club, join that club). Don't fake loving it, but learn to appreciate it instead and maybe even stick with it. Don't start stalking them though; stalking will only freak them out and then they’ll avoid you. You just have to be patient and let things develop naturally instead of forcing something they dont want.^{[16]
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4
Support them. Support them in the things they like to do. For example, if they play sports, show up at a game. But you should also support them when they're having a tough time. Help them with their homework or be a good listener when they're having a problem. Try to solve their problem too (If you can).^{[17]
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Part 4

Part 4 of 5:

Ways to Interact

1
Stay calm.^{[18]
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Research source} When you talk with them, don't get super excited or start acting weird. Just keep calm. They're a normal person just like you. Act natural and they'll find it much easier to interact with you.
2
Speak up! Greet them every now and then, at first warmly, then a bit more flirtatiously. Say hi in the halls or talk to them a bit.
3
Be friendly. Smile at your crush and make eye contact, but don't be creepy about it.^{[19]
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Research source} For example, if you do not know your crush very well, get to know him/her slowly (Asking them for the time, talking about a book they are reading, etc.). If they are a friend, start flirting slightly.
4
Listen to them. When conversing with your crush, make sure that you spend at least as much time listening as you do talking.^{[20]
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5
Don't scare them or act too weird. Don't send them a bunch of notes or hang around after school and wait for them. Don't get their phone number from other people or do any kind of stalking. This will make them not want to talk with you or spend any time with you. Think about how your actions will really look to them, especially if they don't share your feelings.

Part 5

Part 5 of 5:

Landing Your Crush

1
Avoid drama.^{[21]
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Research source} Don't get other people to ask them out for you, don't be a jerk to the person that they're dating, and don't be dramatic about talking or not talking to them. This will only stress you out and make other people (including your crush) not want to deal with you.
2
Just ask! If you want to go out with your crush, just ask them out.^{[22]
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Research source} Cut out the worry from your life and get it over with. At least you'll know how they feel and you can move on. Besides, they'll appreciate your bravery in asking.^{[23]
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Expert Source

Kelli Miller, LCSW, MSW
Psychotherapist
Expert Interview. 11 June 2020.}
3
Ask them in private. If you do ask them out, do it in private. This will be less stressful for you and they won't feel pressured into giving you an answer they don't really mean. They may not even have ever thought about you romantically, even if they would like to date you in the end! Give them the opportunity to decide.
4
Have a clear plan. When you ask them out, ask with a specific date in mind. This will keep things from getting awkward. Ask something like, "Would you like to go out to a movie with me this weekend?" or "Do you want to come with me to the arcade on Friday?".
5
Don't worry about rejection.^{[24]
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Research source} If they don't return your feelings, don't feel like it's the end of the world. Although your crush might have seemed perfect or perfect for you, keep in mind that there are plenty of people out there. You want someone who returns your feelings - so if your crush doesn't, then they just weren't the right person for you. You will find your special someone!^{[25]
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Expert Q&A
Did you know you can get expert answers for this article? Unlock expert answers by supporting wikiHow

Question

How can I get my crush to like me?

Kelli Miller, LCSW, MSW
Psychotherapist
Kelli Miller is a Psychotherapist based in Los Angeles, California. Kelli specializes in individual and couples therapy focusing on relationships, depression, anxiety, sexuality, communication, parenting, and more. Kelli also facilitates groups for those struggling with alcohol and drug addiction as well as anger management groups. She is the author of “Professor Kelli’s Guide to Finding a Husband” and the award-winning and best-selling book “Thriving with ADHD”. Kelli co-hosted an advice show on LA Talk Radio and is a relationship expert for The Examiner. She received her MSW (Masters of Social Work) from the University of Pennsylvania and a BA in Sociology/Health from the University of Florida.

Kelli Miller, LCSW, MSW

Psychotherapist

Expert Answer

Support wikiHow by unlocking this expert answer.

That old cliche "be yourself" is a cliche for a reason. What I tell people who are trying to get somebody to like them is, you want them to like you for you. Show your crush who you really are. If they end up liking you, then they really like the essence of you. If they don't, then you're not a good match for each other.
Question

Is it okay to make your crush jealous?

Kelli Miller, LCSW, MSW
Psychotherapist
Kelli Miller is a Psychotherapist based in Los Angeles, California. Kelli specializes in individual and couples therapy focusing on relationships, depression, anxiety, sexuality, communication, parenting, and more. Kelli also facilitates groups for those struggling with alcohol and drug addiction as well as anger management groups. She is the author of “Professor Kelli’s Guide to Finding a Husband” and the award-winning and best-selling book “Thriving with ADHD”. Kelli co-hosted an advice show on LA Talk Radio and is a relationship expert for The Examiner. She received her MSW (Masters of Social Work) from the University of Pennsylvania and a BA in Sociology/Health from the University of Florida.

Kelli Miller, LCSW, MSW

Psychotherapist

Expert Answer

Support wikiHow by unlocking this expert answer.

I don't believe in playing games. If you're trying to make the other person jealous, you want to get their attention. Try to just cut the game out of it and have a conversation with them instead. Being vulnerable and direct with them will be your best bet.
Question

How can I tell someone I like them?

Kelli Miller, LCSW, MSW
Psychotherapist
Kelli Miller is a Psychotherapist based in Los Angeles, California. Kelli specializes in individual and couples therapy focusing on relationships, depression, anxiety, sexuality, communication, parenting, and more. Kelli also facilitates groups for those struggling with alcohol and drug addiction as well as anger management groups. She is the author of “Professor Kelli’s Guide to Finding a Husband” and the award-winning and best-selling book “Thriving with ADHD”. Kelli co-hosted an advice show on LA Talk Radio and is a relationship expert for The Examiner. She received her MSW (Masters of Social Work) from the University of Pennsylvania and a BA in Sociology/Health from the University of Florida.

Kelli Miller, LCSW, MSW

Psychotherapist

Expert Answer

Support wikiHow by unlocking this expert answer.

I would be very honest and say, "Hey, I see some amazing qualities in you." Try to present it in a way that shows that you two are compatible. Compliment them as a person and also show them that there may be possibilities in your relationship, such as your similar interests, for example. It's worth a try to be courageous and tell them.

Warnings

Don't give your crush the wrong message. You are a person, not an object to be toyed with by others. Just as you are being honest with them, be sure they are being honest with you. As long as there's a mutual feeling, you're golden.

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Talking about serious problems in your life too soon will scare your crush away. Avoid opening up on a very deep level when the relationship is still new and growing.

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Avoid any kind of Deeper Emotional Feelings at the beginning of your relationship. No need to "put yourself out there" until you know the attraction is mutual.

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When you are beginning to getting to know your crush on a deeper level, it's important to remember to "leave your baggage at the door"--for example, on your second date, you should get to know the person better, but that doesn't mean you should talk about all of your life's problems. If you want to find out if the person is caring, try mentioning a minor dilemma you're facing (i.e.: "I really don't understand this book we're reading in English class; could you explain the plot to me?").

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Avoid staring. your crush will get the wrong idea and think you are a crazy stalker and avoid you more than ever.

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Don't blurt out that you have feelings for that person. You do not want to move too fast when your crush barely knows you. Instead take it slow, and get to know tha person more until you feel it is the right time to confess.

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