How to Tell Your Crush You Like Them

Co-authored by Joshua Pompey

You know it's time to tell your crush how you really feel, but how do you do it? You may need to work up the courage to reveal your true feelings, but once you're honest and open with your crush, you'll feel better, no matter what happens. If you want to know how to tell your crush you like them without getting too nervous or making things weird, just follow these steps.

Method 1

Method 1 of 3:

Reacting the Right Way

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Don't be disappointed if your crush doesn't share your feelings. If they don't feel the same way, it's not the end of the world.^{[1]
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Research source} You should feel proud that you had enough confidence to share your true feelings, and that you got the answers you were looking for, even if you didn't end up getting what you wanted. If your crush doesn't feel the same way, just say, "Cool, no problem," or "Thanks for listening to me anyway." Be polite and kind as you say goodbye -- don't make your crush feel worse by saying, "I knew this would happen," or "No one ever likes me back."
- Remember that having the confidence to tell your crush how you feel will make you feel confident in your future relationships and choices.
2
Don't be weird about seeing your crush if you know they don't like you. If your crush doesn't share your feelings, that's okay. If you are friends, then maybe you should take it easy for a while, but that doesn't mean you should run away or avoid them the next time you see them. Keep doing what you always do, and act happy to see your crush the next time you cross paths. Remember that your crush can't help how they feel, and just play it cool.

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3
Celebrate if your crush does like you. If your crush returns your feelings, then you should enjoy your feelings of giddiness and excitement. Be proud of yourself for sharing how you feel, and have fun hanging out with your crush or even dating them. You can take things slow and decide what you want to do next. Your crush will be impressed by your boldness and honesty, and will want to hang out with you as soon as possible.

Method 2

Method 2 of 3:

Telling Your Crush How You Feel in Person

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Look your best without being too obvious about it. Sure, you should look good when you plan to tell your crush how you feel. Just don't dress up to the nines if you normally rock a casual look, or put on a brand-new outfit if you're always seen in cozy clothes. You don't want your crush to think that you're trying too hard to send them the right message. Just try looking a bit more dressed up and well groomed than you normally do -- this will boost your confidence when you share your feelings.
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Pick the right time and place to do it. If you want to get the best results, then you have to pick a time when you and your crush can be fairly alone in a stress-free environment. You may not want to do it between classes, when your crush may be caught off guard or worried about the math test they have to take next period. Instead, pick a time when you know you can be alone, like after school, or at a group event when you know you can pull them away to chat for a while.
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Tell your crush that you want to talk about something. Don't make a big deal about it -- make it sound like you could be asking for help with your homework or something. Let your crush know that you wanted to talk about something in a one on one setting, but that there's not a lot of pressure to have a serious conversation. The more casual you can be without making it sound too casual, the better. Just say, "Hey, I wanted to talk to you about something after school, do you have a minute?"^{[2]
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Make your crush feel comfortable by laughing or making a joke. You shouldn't immediately spit out the words, "I like you!" because your crush may still be a little uncomfortable or confused about why you're alone. Instead, put them at ease by making a silly joke, poking fun at yourself, or laughing extra hard at something they say. Laughing will put your crush in a positive frame of mind, and it'll make them more receptive to whatever you want to say.
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Spit it out. There's no need to delay. Once you're alone and have made your crush comfortable, you should just tell them how you feel. The sooner you do it, the better, and the less likely you'll be to make yourself more nervous or likely to ramble on about something unrelated. Just be simple and direct. Say, "I wanted to tell you that I have a crush on you" or "I really like hanging out with you, and I want you to know that I have feelings for you."
- When you tell your crush, look them in the eye and relax your body. Don't stand too close to them or look at the floor, or you'll look either too eager or too withdrawn.
- Use your crush's name when you tell them how you feel. "Michael, there's something I want to tell you..." sounds more personal than just saying, "I want to tell you something."
- Don't build up to the thing you have to say too much. This will only put pressure on yourself.
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Wait for a reaction. Don't immediately put pressure on your crush and say, "So what do you think?" It's likely that your crush is thrown off guard and needs some time to consider your words, whether they share your feelings or not. Take a few deep breaths, step back, and wait for your crush to respond. Your crush may immediately say that they return your feelings, but it's more likely that your crush may need more time and will say, "Cool, thanks for telling me," or "Can I have some time to think about it?" That's perfectly natural. If you want to increase the chances of your crush liking you, you should play it cool after you put your cards on the table.

Method 3

Method 3 of 3:

Tell Your Crush How You Feel in Other Ways

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Tell your crush how you feel over the phone. Though telling your crush in person will make you look more confident and mature, and saying it over the phone is sort of the worst way to do it, if you're really shy about telling your crush how you feel, then calling them and revealing your feelings is the next best bet. Just say hello, make them comfortable with a joke or casual comment, say, "I wanted to tell you something," and then reveal your feelings.
- Talking over the phone will make you feel less nervous because you won't see your crush face to face. Still, if you're nervous, you can pace back and forth to get rid of some of that nervous energy.
- If you're determined to tell your crush how you feel over the phone, you can also practice by calling one of your friends and rehearsing what you'd say first.
EXPERT TIP

Joshua Pompey
Relationship Expert
Joshua Pompey is a Relationship Expert with over 10 years of helping people navigate the online dating world. Joshua has run his own relationship consulting business since 2009 at a success rate of over 99%. His work has been featured in CNBC, Good Morning America, Wired, and Refinery29 and he has been referred to as the best online dater in the world.

Joshua Pompey
Relationship Expert

If you're texting them after a date or get-together, don't wait three days. Waiting three days to message someone doesn't work anymore because everyone has their phones on them 24/7. Waiting too long can make you look bad to the other person. You need to find a balance between someone enjoying your texts and sending so many texts that the mystery and chase are gone.
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Tell your crush how you feel with a cute note. Putting a cute note in your crush's locker, textbook, or backpack that tells them that you like them can be a nice way to tell them how you really feel. Just write something like, "Hi, Mark, I just wanted to tell you that I like you." Having your crush find the note at the right time can be a pleasant surprise -- just make sure the note will be easy to find.
- Be careful with notes - they can be lost or passed around, and you don't want the wrong person to get the note!
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Ask them on a casual date. If you're too nervous about saying, "I like you," you can sidestep the situation by just asking your crush to hang out. You can simply say you have extra tickets to a movie or a show and invite your crush along, ask your crush if they're hungry or want to grab a snack or coffee somewhere, or ask if they want to go for a walk in the park. Asking them to hang out solo will make your feelings pretty obvious, so you can let your crush do more of the work when they figure it out.
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Know what not to do. There are a few things you should avoid doing if you want to tell your crush that you like them and get the best results. Here are some things you should avoid if you want to look confident and mature:
- Don't have your friends tell them how you feel. If you want to look mature, you have to do it yourself.
- Don't do it over social media. This will make you look like you're not serious or confident enough to have the conversation in person.
- Don't be too eager when you tell your crush how you feel. A simple "I like you" is far more effective and far less likely to scare them off than saying, "I've been in love with you since the second grade..."^{[3]
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Expert Q&A

Question

How do you hint to your crush?

Joshua Pompey
Relationship Expert
Joshua Pompey is a Relationship Expert with over 10 years of helping people navigate the online dating world. Joshua has run his own relationship consulting business since 2009 at a success rate of over 99%. His work has been featured in CNBC, Good Morning America, Wired, and Refinery29 and he has been referred to as the best online dater in the world.

Joshua Pompey

Relationship Expert

Expert Answer

You want to definitely be on the playful side as far as communication goes. Keep things right and friendly. Use the body language, some playful touches here and there, try to break away from being in the friend zone, and in subtle ways just communicate that there is potential on more of a romantic and physical level.
Question

Should I tell my crush that I like them if I know they like me back?

Community Answer

Do you want to date your crush? If you like your crush but aren't interested in dating them, or can't for whatever reason, they may be hurt or confused by getting mixed signals, so you probably shouldn't tell them. On the other hand, if you're interested in dating them, telling them can help you both figure out what you'd like your relationship to be.
Question

My crush told me he was "done with girls" after a bad breakup a little bit ago. I want to tell him I like him, but I don't know if he still feels that way and I don't want to ruin our friendship. What do I do?

Community Answer

If your crush is still recovering from the breakup, especially if the relationship was serious, telling him your feelings can make things awkward or make it seem like you were waiting for him and his girlfriend to break up. How recent was the breakup? Does he still seem angry or bitter about relationships, talk about his ex frequently, get annoyed or upset when he's around her or someone brings her up in conversation, or say he's not interested in dating when the subject is brought up? Depending on your ages and the intensity and longevity of the relationship, your crush may take awhile to get over the relationship and be willing to date again. Until you're certain that he's over his ex, you shouldn't tell him about your feelings - wait until he's over the breakup.

Warnings

If you get turned down by somebody, don't immediately ask another person, especially a friend of that person you just got turned down by.

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Don't tell them your feelings in an inappropriate or sexual way. Flirting can work, but not this.

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If you get turned down, it may seem hard, but you will get over them with plenty of help from family, friends, and the other small joys of living. It just takes time.^{[6]
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