How to Flatter Girls

Co-authored by Imad Jbara

Last Updated: January 15, 2023 References

Flattery is a great way to tell a girl that you like her, or simply to make a girl feel good about herself. Of course, it's pretty easy to fall into the creepy flattery category. Follow these steps and you'll be sure to brighten some girl's day.

Part 1

Part 1 of 2:

Flattering Girls With Words

1
Compliment something specific about her appearance. The biggest type of flattery people use on girls is complimenting their appearance. Remember though, some girls like to be appreciated for their intelligence, physical skills or abilities.^{[1]
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Expert Source

Imad Jbara
Dating Coach
Expert Interview. 5 November 2019.} There is a way to do this without being creepy or focusing too much on the physical side of a woman.^{[2]
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Research source}
- Use a specific compliment like "I really like the way your sweater brings out the colour in your eyes." A specific compliment is tailored to the girl and is more than just "you're cute," or "you're attractive."
- Another good way is to notice the way she puts together her outfits. If she's wearing a pair of awesome earrings say something like "Those earrings look really good on you. You have great taste."
- Do not, do not, do not, make a sexual comment ("nice rack," or "I'd hit that") unless you know the girl really well and she has accepted that sort of comment. Most girls find that sort of comment creepy.
2
Use alternatives to "hot" and "sexy." These are boring compliments and way overused and inappropriate on girls under 16. Try for something a little more unusual and interesting. Even "beautiful" can be overused. A different way of saying that she's attractive will intrigue her, because she's unlikely to have heard it before.^{[3]
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- A few good words to try: "radiant," "breathtaking," "elegant," "riveting," or "dazzling" to name a few.
- You could even use something like "incredibly" which could mean both her appearance and her personality and accomplishments.
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3
Compliment her personality. Too often people stick to only complimenting or flattering a woman's looks. You'll need to widen your flattery to include her personality as well. Make sure that you are being as specific and sincere as possible when talking about her personality, otherwise she won't take you seriously.
- Tell her something like "I love the way you brighten up any party and manage to make everything more fun just by being there."
- Or note how kind and generous she is. If she helps out her friends and family all the time, you could say something like "It's amazing how much you do for other people. Just make sure to take some time to care for yourself!" You'll both show that you notice what she does and who she is, but you'll also show that you care about her.
4
Compliment one of her accomplishments. Girls, just like other members of the human race, don't want to be noticed for their appearance alone. Find out things that she's done that she's proud of and compliment her on them.
- If she plays an instrument or sings, ask her to perform for you. Praise her ability when she's finished. Make sure it's specific. You could say something like "I love the way you're so amazing at holding those high notes."
- If she's just beat a difficult video game, tell her how impressive that is. (Do NOT say "You're really good for a girl;" that is not a compliment.)
- If she's just done something like completed her dissertation, or gotten her PHD, compliment her on her chosen field and how much work she has put into achieving her goals.
5
Let her know what she means to you. Flattery is about letting someone know how important and wonderful they are, so tell a girl what she means to you and why she is so important to you.
- For example, you could say something like "I find it really easy and fun to talk to you."
- Another example: "Nobody else can make me laugh the way you do." You're drawing attention to something specific and wonderful that she does and framing it in a way that makes your unique and important to you.
6
Compliment her ideas. Letting her know that you think her ideas are important is a great form of flattery. It will make her feel smart and like you are listening when she talks and take an interest in her thoughts.^{[4]
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- If she does a lot of artistic type work (of any kind, writing, visual arts, photography, music, etc) tell her that you think she's incredibly creative. Even better, give a specific example of her creativity. Say something like "I love the way you used the green in that painting; it really stood out beautifully."
7
Ask for her opinion. This will flatter her because it will show that you have respect for her and what she thinks and that you're paying attention to her ideas.
- If you know she's interested in politics, engage her on the subject. Tell her that she really makes you think.
- Especially ask for her opinion on something that you know she's an expert on. If the woman you're complimenting is a marine biologist, for example ask her opinion on something to do with the ocean.

Part 2

Part 2 of 2:

Flattering Girls With Gestures

1
Give her a small token of your appreciation. This doesn't have to be a super expensive diamond necklace or anything, but something small that lets her know that you've been thinking of her and that she's important to you.
- If she likes flowers, get her a lovely bouquet of her favorites. By getting her favorites you show that you've been paying attention to her likes and dislikes (flattery in and of itself) rather than just reverting to the old red rose stereotype (although some women do like roses, of course).
- If she's a gardener you could get her some seed packets she's been wanting for a while, or a new pair of gloves.
- If she loves to write, or writes in a journal or diary, get her a lovely notebook or special pen. Again, the token should be something that's specific to her as a person and to what she likes.
2
Show that you've been listening to her. Showing that you listen to what she says and the things that she does is a huge compliment and one which a lot of people forget to do.^{[5]
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Expert Source

Imad Jbara
Dating Coach
Expert Interview. 5 November 2019.} Obviously, this means that you should be listening when she talks and paying attention to what she's up to.^{[6]
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Research source}
- If she's been having trouble with a roommate or a family member, make sure to ask her how it is going with them. It'll show that you care and that you're paying attention.
- If she's been talking about getting a new haircut, or piercing, or tattoo, compliment her when she actually gets it done. Say something like "Your new haircut really frames your face in a great way" or "That tattoo is so creative and gorgeous. Did you design it yourself?"
3
Take interest in her accomplishments. Even if it is something small ask her to show you something that she is proud of having accomplished. It could be anything from baking a cake, to refitting her car engine, to fixing a leaky faucet.
- Ask her to help you with a project that appeals to her strengths. For instance, if she's really good at interior design, ask her for some ideas on how to make your living space better or more comfortable.
- If she's good with web design, ask her help designing the webpage for your new novel, your new company, or simply a blog.
4
Let her pick the movie/restaurant/music. By encouraging her to choose something for both of you, you are showing that you think she has good taste and that you trust her to exercise that taste. There is little that's more flattering than someone thinking you have good taste.
- Say something like "You always pick the best food, why don't you choose where we'll eat."
- Ask her to help you pick out some clothes (if that's something she likes to do). Tell her that you're no good at it and that she has such a great eye you'd love it if she'd go shopping with you. You'll get to spend more time with her and you'll get to show her how important her skills and her opinions are to you.
5
Offer a helping hand. If she's having a stressful time, or she's trying to run an event, take care of her aging parents, and so on, offer to help her out. It will show that you've noticed what she's going through and that you like her enough to help.^{[7]
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Expert Source

Imad Jbara
Dating Coach
Expert Interview. 5 November 2019.}
- If she's going through a busy period with work, school, or some outside interest, offer to bring her dinner and to clean up afterwards (bonus points if you make it yourself).
- If she's running some sort of event, volunteer some of your time to helping her make it a success. She won't forget that you were there for her and she'll be flattered that you took an interest in what she's working on.
- Don't only offer to do things that are self-serving to you. If she's really stressed and you offer her a massage and she says no, find a different way to show your appreciation for her like asking what she needs.
6
Show her you respect her. This is a huge part of flattery and of making sure that flattery doesn't get really creepy. Make sure that you respect her boundaries and her as a person.^{[8]
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Expert Source

Imad Jbara
Dating Coach
Expert Interview. 5 November 2019.} If you aren't respectful, you're flattery will come off as creepy.
- For example: If you say something nice about her appearance and she doesn't respond well, let it go. Don't badmouth her simply because she didn't respond to your flattery.
- Remember: just because you've said something nice, or done something nice does not mean that she owes you anything.

Warnings

Don't stalk her with compliments.

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Don't bring up compliments you've said before. Harping on the same three compliments are going to make her think that those are the only things you like or notice about her (especially if they are all about her looks).

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