How to Win Someone over Text

Co-authored by Imad Jbara and Hunter Rising

Last Updated: February 9, 2022 References

You got your crush’s number, but now you’re not sure what to text them to win them over. Don’t worry—flirting with your crush, impressing them, and getting them to like you back over text is actually easier than you’d think. To help you out, we’ve compiled the best, most effective tips for getting someone to like you over text, including specific example texts you can send your crush.

1

Kick off the convo by telling them what you're up to.

A good opening text will make your crush think you’re more interesting. You want to get your crush hooked on your convo right away, but saying “hi” or “hey” can sound a little boring. Mention something unique and exciting that you’re doing to make them really excited to talk to you.^{[1]
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Expert Source

Imad Jbara
Dating Coach
Expert Interview. 5 November 2019.}
- “Hey 😊 Just got done watching the sunset at the beach and it was SO beautiful!”
- “Hi! I hope you’ve had a good day 😀 I’ve been roller skating all afternoon and it’s been a ton of fun.”
- “Hey there! I’ve spent like all day drawing and I finally finished haha. How are you?”

2

Ask questions about them.

Learning more about your crush shows that you’re really interested in them. Try to stay away from questions that can be answered with “yes” or “no” since they don’t keep your convo going. You can open with a silly icebreaker or by asking about your crush’s day. If you want to get to know them on a deeper level, dig into more questions about their life.^{[2]
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- “Have any fun plans coming up this weekend?”
- “What’s been the most exciting part of your day so far?”
- “What are your favorite memories from when you were growing up?”
- “Would you rather be invisible or be able to fly?”

3

Goof off with a funny text.

Show off your sense of humor to make your crush laugh. If you know a couple of good jokes or have a funny story, don’t be afraid to tell your crush! You could always poke fun at yourself too to help them feel more comfortable texting you. You’ll impress your crush by making them smile, so they’ll want to keep chatting with you.
- “Have you ever been camping?? It’s really in-tents!”
- “OMG that reminds me of a funny story back when I was a kid! Wait until you hear this!”
- “I just dropped a whole bag of popcorn on the floor. Want some? 😂”

4

Give them a nice compliment.

Your crush will love hearing what you like about them. You could say something nice about a text they sent, how they look, or anything else about your crush that you find attractive.^{[3]
X
Expert Source

Imad Jbara
Dating Coach
Expert Interview. 5 November 2019.} They’ll be so flattered that you saw something special in them that they’ll want to keep your convo going.^{[4]
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- “I love how you're always so sweet to me 😊”
- “Just saw your latest Insta post! You look absolutely amazing!”
- “Did you know you’re the nicest person I’ve ever met??”

5

Playfully tease them.

Poke fun at your crush if you want to subtly flirt. Once you get to know your crush a little better, push their buttons and joke around with them. Add a couple of emojis to your text so your crush knows that you’re just kidding. As long as you aren’t being mean to your crush, they’ll catch on and play along too. Just pay attention to how they reply to make sure you didn’t hurt their feelings or make them upset.
- “Wow, I’ve never heard of these bands. You’re SUCH a hipster 😉”
- “You think you can beat me at arm-wrestling? Alright Muscles, you’re on 😜”
- “Wait, You’ve never seen Harry Potter? Is everything okay? 🤣”

6

Send them a pic.

A fun selfie or pic of what you’re up to will catch your crush’s eye. You could send a selfie, a pic of what you’re doing, or forward a meme that’ll make your crush LOL. Follow up with a short text about the picture so your crush has more to respond to.^{[5]
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- You could send a pic of the sunset and say, “Isn’t this so beautiful? Wish you could be here!”
- After sending a sexy selfie, try, “Just got this new outfit! What do you think?”
- Send a meme of a cute animal and say, “LOL this totes reminds me of you!”

7

Flirt with them.

Flirting lets your crush know you want to be more than friends. If your crush hasn’t caught on already, speak up and say how much you like them. You could mention how much you’re thinking of them or things that you want to do when you’re together to hint at what they’re missing. Your crush will get the idea and might flirt back if they’re interested in you too!^{[6]
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- “This movie is too scary, I wish you could come keep me safe 😏”
- “I have a few ideas of what we could do together 😉”
- “The only thing that would make today perfect is if you were here 😘”

8

Keep your texts lighthearted.

Your crush will want to text you more if you have fun conversations. Try not to complain or bring up negative topics since they can bring the mood down. Instead, only talk about things that are entertaining for you both.^{[7]
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Expert Source

Imad Jbara
Dating Coach
Expert Interview. 5 November 2019.} Add in a few exclamation points or emojis so you sound really upbeat and eager to talk to your crush.

9

Let your crush text you first sometimes.

Stop over-texting to make your crush chase after you. Even if you’re really excited to chat with your crush, you could come on a little over-eager if you’re always starting your convos or sending walls of texts. Take a short break from texting your crush so they get curious about what you’re up to and reach out first.
- Keep your conversation balanced by sending the same number of texts as your crush. That way, neither of you will feel like you’re texting too much.

10

Ask to meet up in person.

You can build a stronger connection by spending time with your crush. Texting is a great way to get to know each other, but you might want to test out your chemistry by seeing each other. After you’ve chatted and bonded for a little while, see if they want to get together for a casual hangout to break the ice. If you’re feeling bold, ask if they want to go with you on a romantic date.^{[8]
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- “I’ve loved chatting with you! Would you wanna grab a coffee later today?”
- “Ugh, I can’t wait to see you. Are you free this weekend??”
- “If I asked you out to dinner on Saturday, what would you say?”

11

Stay calm if they stop texting.

Your crush may have a good reason why they haven’t responded yet. If you’re still waiting to hear back from your crush, they might just be busy or they can’t use their phone. Be patient and wait for a few hours before sending a short follow-up message to remind them. If your crush doesn’t reply within a couple of days, then it could be a sign they’re not interested.
- You could follow up by saying, “Hey, hope you’re having a great day! What did you end up doing?”
- You might say, “Not sure if you saw my last message, but I was just wondering what you were doing this weekend?”
- It’s a bummer when your crush ghosts you, but don’t let that bring you down. There are a ton of other people that you can still text.

Expert Q&A

Question

Initially, what should be the aim of texting?

Imad Jbara
Dating Coach
Imad Jbara is a Dating Coach for NYC Wingwoman LLC, a relationship coaching service based in New York City. 'NYC Wingwoman' offers matchmaking, wingwoman services, 1-on-1 Coaching, and intensive weekend bootcamps. Imad services 100+ clients, men and women, to improve their dating lives through authentic communication skills. He has a BA in Psychology from the University of Massachusetts Dartmouth.

Imad Jbara

Dating Coach

Expert Answer

Initially, the aim of texting should be to set up a date or a phone call. Many people try to get to know people through text immediately. That makes it hard to develop a deeper relationship or connection because many things can get misconstrued over text.
Question

What type of compliments can you give a girl?

Imad Jbara
Dating Coach
Imad Jbara is a Dating Coach for NYC Wingwoman LLC, a relationship coaching service based in New York City. 'NYC Wingwoman' offers matchmaking, wingwoman services, 1-on-1 Coaching, and intensive weekend bootcamps. Imad services 100+ clients, men and women, to improve their dating lives through authentic communication skills. He has a BA in Psychology from the University of Massachusetts Dartmouth.

Imad Jbara

Dating Coach

Expert Answer

Instead of complimenting girls only about their looks, you can praise them for being adventurous, intelligent, exciting, or spontaneous.