This article was co-authored by Lisa Shield and by wikiHow staff writer, Hannah Madden. Lisa Shield is a love and relationship expert based in Los Angeles. She has a Master's degree in Spiritual Psychology and is a certified life and relationship coach with over 17 years of experience. Lisa has been featured in The Huffington Post, Buzzfeed, LA Times, and Cosmopolitan.
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When the bill arrives at your table, do you reach for it automatically, or do you wait for your date to make the first move? Figuring out who’s going to pay on a date can be tough, but with a few guidelines in mind, you can dodge any awkward moments. Read this article to learn everything you need to know about paying for the first date and beyond.
Steps
Paying for a Date: What the Experts Say
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1Whoever asks for the date should pay the bill. If you’re the one who invited your date out, it’s polite to cover both of your meals. On the flip side, if your date set up your dinner plans, they’ll probably be the one to pay for everything.[1]
- If you don’t plan on paying for the bill, it’s still polite to reach for your wallet whenever the check comes. Your date will probably insist that they’ve got it, and you can thank them for taking you out.
- Is your date insisting that you split it, even though you want to pay? Avoid the awkwardness by saying something like, “I’ll get this one, and you can get the next one.”
- If you're having a hard time accepting that your date wants to pay for everything, try to think about this in another way: remember that this is their way to show that they want to take care of you. Try to learn how to receive this gift.[2]
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2After the first date, you two can split the bill. When things start to get a little more serious, both partners can share the weight of paying for a night out. The second, third, and fourth dates can all be a dual effort. If you two end up in a serious relationship, you can talk about who’s going to pay and when to split the bill whenever the time comes.[3]
- If you want to bring up who’s going to pay before you go out, say something like, “Since I got our last date, would you mind paying for this one?”
References
- ↑ https://www.vogue.com/article/modern-etiquette-paying-for-dinner-on-a-date
- ↑ Lisa Shield. Dating Coach. Expert Interview. 11 March 2021.
- ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/the-attraction-doctor/201205/who-should-ask-and-pay-date
- ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/the-attraction-doctor/201205/who-should-ask-and-pay-date
- ↑ https://psycnet.apa.org/record/2011-02796-005
- ↑ https://www.vogue.com/article/modern-etiquette-paying-for-dinner-on-a-date
- ↑ https://melmagazine.com/en-us/story/queer-gay-first-date-who-pays-check