This article was co-authored by Kelli Miller, LCSW, MSW and by wikiHow staff writer, Jessica Gibson. Kelli Miller is a Psychotherapist based in Los Angeles, California. Kelli specializes in individual and couples therapy focusing on relationships, depression, anxiety, sexuality, communication, parenting, and more. Kelli also facilitates groups for those struggling with alcohol and drug addiction as well as anger management groups. She is the author of “Professor Kelli’s Guide to Finding a Husband” and the award-winning and best-selling book “Thriving with ADHD”. Kelli co-hosted an advice show on LA Talk Radio and is a relationship expert for The Examiner. She received her MSW (Masters of Social Work) from the University of Pennsylvania and a BA in Sociology/Health from the University of Florida.
There are 9 references cited in this article, which can be found at the bottom of the page.
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When you ask a girl to become your girlfriend, you want it to be memorable! Sure, you could ask, "Want to be my girlfriend?" but she may be hoping for something more creative. Fortunately, there are lots of lighthearted, fun ways to ask her. Check out our unique suggestions and read expert tips so she'll say yes when you pop your question.
Steps
Sweep her off her feet at the end of a romantic date.
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A romantic date is a great time to ask since you'll both feel amorous. If you've just had an intimate meal, been kissing, or even just made love, you're probably feeling a really close connection to her. Look her in the eyes and tell her how she makes you feel—be as specific, honest, and vulnerable as possible. She'll probably be charmed by your old-school style and find it pretty cute.[1] X Expert Source Eddy Baller
Dating Coach Expert Interview. 7 February 2020.- For example, at the end of your evening together, hold her close and say something like, "You make me feel so incredible like I want to experience everything with you. I can't imagine being without you. Can I be your partner?"
Write a memorable poem or letter.
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Put your thoughts on paper if you're anxious about asking her. It's totally normal to be nervous about asking a girl to be your girlfriend! If you're worried you'll freeze when the moment comes, write down your feelings and question in the form of a poem or a simple letter. She'll think it's sweet. Plus, she'll have something to keep as a memento.
- At a loss for words? Don't worry! It's totally fine to use a great quotation when you ask her.
- For example, write down a romantic Shakespearean sonnet to give her, or just use a quotation like, "‘I would not wish any companion in the world but you," as an opening line in your letter.
Sing her favorite song or dedicate it to her.
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Win her heart with a romantic song. For an intimate way of asking, wait until the two of you are alone and sing a special song—her favorite song or one that has the perfect lyrics for what you want to tell her. When you finish the song, pop the question. If you want a bold, fun way of asking, take her out for karaoke! Dedicate the song to her and ask her before you sing so she can think of her response, or ask her when you finish singing a special number.[2] X Research source
- For instance, say, "I'm dedicating this song to you, Lena, since it will do a better job of telling you how I feel. I'm hoping it will explain why I want you to be my girlfriend."
- Feeling extra ambitious? Compose your own music or lyrics! She'll be touched by your efforts and musical abilities.
Surprise her with food.
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Write your question on the box or spell it out with food. For example, write something like, "This might be cheesy, but will you be my girlfriend?" on the inside of a pizza box. If she's into sweet treats, order a bunch of cupcakes and get the letters to spell "Will you be my girlfriend?" piped on top.[3] X Research source
- Customize this to the food she likes. You could use icing to spell out the question on a big cookie cake or write the question on the lid of a box of chocolate for instance.
Do a balloon pop.
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Go for an interactive experience by writing your question on a slip of paper. Put it inside a balloon along with some confetti before you inflate it. Then, tie the balloon to your girlfriend's bag or put it someplace special—like the park bench you sat on at your first date. Ask her to pop the balloon. She'll find your question and you'll soon have your answer![4] X Research source
- Don't forget to bring along a pin or something to poke the balloon with.
Create a fun treasure hunt.
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Hide clues so she hunts for the question at the end. You might hide clues at places where you've gone on dates. Lead her through the hunt, but tell her to be at a specific place at a specific time for the last clue. Then, write your question on a note or poster for her to read. Meet her at the spot with flowers to hear her response.[5] X Research source
- If you want to capture her reaction, ask a friend to come along to take pictures.
Slip a note into her favorite candy.
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She'll love getting a sweet surprise before she even sees your question. This is a simple but thoughtful way to ask her out. Carefully unwrap her favorite candy bar and write your question on a small piece of paper. Slide the paper into the wrapper and repackage the candy. Then, offer it to her the next time you go on a date.[6] X Research source
- Consider using brightly colored paper so she notices it when she unwraps the candy. You don't want her accidentally throwing it away!
Change your contact name on her phone.
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Take her phone and change your name to "Boyfriend/Girlfriend?" Put her phone back before she realizes you've done anything. Then, call her. When she looks at the screen, she'll see "Boyfriend?" or "Girlfriend?" and you can ask her for her response.[7] X Research source
- Can't get ahold of her phone? Change the contact information for her in your phone to "Girlfriend?" Then, ask her to call you and show her the screen when your phone starts ringing, or pretend like you lost your phone and ask her to call it so you can look. Let her find the phone so she sees your message.
Send her a cute text.
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This is a great option if you're a little nervous about asking her. You can type out a message that you think is perfect and send it to her while you're on a date. Then, watch her reaction and wait for her response. Here are a couple of fantastic messages you could use:[8] X Research source
- "There's this really great girl that I like a lot. Do you think she'd want to be my girlfriend?"
- "You + Me = Girlfriend and Boyfriend/Girlfriend?"
- "I'm ready to make this official. Would you be my girlfriend?"
Wait until the moment feels right.
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Play it by ear to decide when you ask her. Despite all the dating advice you might have gotten in the past, there's no rulebook that says you have to formally ask her by a specific date. Instead, use your intuition to decide when it's time to ask her—maybe you've been going out for a few weeks or perhaps you've just had one amazing date.[9] X Expert Source Mark Rosenfeld
Dating & Relationship Coach Expert Interview. 29 July 2021.- Don't let yourself feel rushed or pressured into asking her, even if you know she'll say yes!
Ask her to be your girlfriend in a clear, direct way.
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Instead of dropping hints, be direct so she knows exactly how you feel. Look her in the eyes and say something like, "I've really enjoyed being with you. Would you be my girlfriend?" or, for something more casual, say, "I want to get to know you better. Want to go out?"[10] X Expert Source Kelli Miller, LCSW, MSW
Psychotherapist Expert Interview. 2020 July 21.- For a really sweet way of asking, you could say, "I really want to be your boyfriend/girlfriend. What do you think?"
Relax and be yourself.
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Sure, you can come up with dazzling ways to ask her out, but be genuine. She'll think it's sweet that you're asking, but ultimately, she'll base her decision on how she feels about you. Don't let yourself get stressed out about planning an elaborate show for her. Be yourself so she can see you for who you really are![11] X Expert Source Kelli Miller, LCSW, MSW
Psychotherapist Expert Interview. 2020 July 21.
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References
- ↑ Eddy Baller. Dating Coach. Expert Interview. 7 February 2020.
- ↑ https://teenage.com.sg/campus/9-non-creepy-ways-to-ask-your-crush-out-on-social-media/
- ↑ https://www.seventeen.com/love/a33436/how-to-ask-guy-girl-to-homecoming/
- ↑ https://teens.lovetoknow.com/Creative_Ways_to_Ask_Someone_to_Homecoming
- ↑ https://teens.lovetoknow.com/Creative_Ways_to_Ask_Someone_to_Homecoming
- ↑ https://www.cosmopolitan.com/sex-love/g5992/most-creative-ways-ask-out-your-crush/?slide=3
- ↑ https://www.cosmopolitan.com/sex-love/g5992/most-creative-ways-ask-out-your-crush/?slide=9
- ↑ https://teens.lovetoknow.com/Sweet_Text_Messages_to_Send
- ↑ Mark Rosenfeld. Dating & Relationship Coach. Expert Interview. 29 July 2021.
Medical Disclaimer
The content of this article is not intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, examination, diagnosis, or treatment. You should always contact your doctor or other qualified healthcare professional before starting, changing, or stopping any kind of health treatment.
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