How to Tell if a Girl Likes You over Text

Co-authored by Imad Jbara

Last Updated: December 6, 2022 References

Figuring out whether a girl likes you or not can feel exciting, confusing, and scary all at once, especially if it is someone who you really like. If you are texting one another, you can find clues to how she really feels about you in her messages. By paying attention to what, when and how a girl is texting you, you can gain important insight into how she really feels about you.

Things You Should Know

If she his asking a lot of questions or sending messages that build connection and intimacy, it's a good sign that she likes you.
Nonverbal cues such as lots of heart emojis and texting first thing in the morning or last thing at night are also good indicators of interest.
When in doubt, ask her directly whether she is interested. This may seem scary, but it is the most likely to bring clarity!

Method 1

Method 1 of 3:

Understanding the Meaning of Her Texts

1
Take notice if she already knows things about you. If a girl is interested in you, chances are she has already done some homework. Whether it’s talking to friends or following up on your social media accounts, she may drop hints that she knows something about your hobbies and interests. This is often a good sign that she likes you.^{[1]
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- This could also be a sign that she is interested in you as a friend and wants to get to know you better.
Example: If she asks you about your photos from a recent ski trip you posted about online, you can guess that she may have feelings for you.
2
Look for messages that build up a connection and intimacy. When someone likes you, they will often try to establish an emotional bond with you through messages that create closeness. Common things to look for are if she chooses a nickname that she uses when texting with you.^{[2]
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Research source} She may also try to connect with you by reaching out to talk with you about an experience or interest that the two of you share.^{[3]
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- Does she text you to reminisce about a funny moment at school or maybe to commiserate with you about a particularly troublesome assignment or test you both have coming up? These may be signs she’s trying to connect with you on an emotional level.^{[4]
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- Having a connection like this can also be a sign she is interested in friendship.
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3
Pay attention to complimentary language. Things like compliments and expressions of gratitude send a clear message that the person on the other end of your text conversation thinks highly of you. These messages can also give you hints about what it is she likes or finds particularly attractive about you.^{[5]
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- Does she compliment your looks? Your clothes? Is she thanking you for doing something nice for her that day? You can learn a lot about what a girl thinks of you by paying attention to what she appreciates about you.
- Compliments don’t have to be straightforward. If a girl texts you to share happy news with you, she’s letting you know that she thinks highly of you.^{[6]
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- If a girl is texting you to share something that made her think of you, that’s a positive sign that you’re on her mind.^{[7]
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4
Pay attention to the questions and details she shares. Text messages are a good, relatively low-risk way for two people to get to know each other a little better. If a girl is texting you details about her interests, her likes, and dislikes, pay attention as she may be trying to find out if the two of you have important things in common. If she’s following up these details with questions for you, she may be telling you she’s interested in getting to know you better.^{[8]
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- Answer her questions thoughtfully and don’t forget to keep the conversation going by asking her things, too.
- This is also a good way to become better friends with someone, in general.
5
Watch for consistently vague and brief texts. If a person is into you, they’ll most likely want to share their thoughts and perspective with you and should be eager to know more about you. If the girl you are texting, however, repeatedly gives you short responses without much content or details about her life, she may simply not be interested.^{[9]
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- If you have a text exchange that leaves you feeling confused, take a break. Try texting her again the next day to see if her attitude has changed. If her texts remain cool and distant, or she stops responding altogether, you should move on.

Method 2

Method 2 of 3:

Looking for Non-Verbal Cues in Her Messages

1
Check out her emojis. When someone is sending you a string of heart-themed emojis, this is a good indicator that they are interested in you. The more emojis, the better. By sending you these fun emoticons, she’s is letting you know that she’s clever and funny.^{[10]
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- Certain emojis, like the kissy face or lips, are often used to show interest in something more than just friendship.
2
Look for memes. If you’ve got a girl texting you memes, she’s likely trying to get your attention and build a connection with you. By sharing memes, which are generally meant to elicit a laugh, she may be trying to create an inside joke or play off something you both already find humorous. Humor is a great way to reach out and connect with someone and she may be trying to determine if you share the same sense of what is funny.^{[11]
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- Laughter and humor are important in lot of relationships, including friendship.
3
Notice what time of day she is texting you. If a girl is texting you late at night or first thing in the morning, she’s letting you know that you’re the last thing on her mind before she falls asleep and the first person she thinks about when she wakes up. She also may be trying to make sure she’s on your mind just as often.^{[12]
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- Regular “good morning” and “good night” texts are a good indicator that someone likes you.^{[13]
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4
Pay attention if she sends you pictures. Photos of herself or pictures of what she’s doing throughout the day can mean she’s trying to give you a peek into her world. She’s trying to establish your interest in her life by sharing what she’s doing and seeing. She may even ask for your input or advice about things she shows you.^{[14]
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- Photos of her day are a way for someone to show that they are thinking of you and that they want you to be involved in their life.

Method 3

Method 3 of 3:

Asking Her Directly

1
Ask her what she’s up to and subtly suggest doing something together.^{[15]
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Expert Source

Imad Jbara
Dating Coach
Expert Interview. 5 November 2019.} Casually proposing that the two of you do something together can remove some of the anxiety and worry you may feel about asking her outright about her feelings for you. For example, you can ask her what she is doing tonight or this weekend. If her plans are open or not fixed, you can share what you would like to do and ask her if she wants to go to along with you.^{[16]
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- If she says she’s busy, it could mean she’s not interested but it could also mean she’s actually just busy. Ask her if there are any other days that she would be free to do something and see what she says.
- For example, you can ask: What are you doing this weekend?” If she says “Nothing” or “I was thinking of seeing a movie,” then you can say “I was planning on going to the movies, want to go together?”
2
Follow her lead when it comes to hanging out. If a girl is texting you about a restaurant she really wants to try, a test she is worried about, a movie she would like to see, or some school event like a party or dance, she may want you to ask her about it. Follow-up on her conversation with a subtle invitation to do the things she is interested in, with you.^{[17]
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- For example, if she has been talking about trying a new pizza place nearby, tell her you have also been wanting to try it and suggest that you go together.
- If there is a school event coming up that she has been texting you about, tell her you have been looking forward to it and see if she wants to go with you.
- Maybe she’s been texting with you about an upcoming exam in a class you both share. This is a great opportunity for you to suggest getting together to study for it.
3
Try being clear and direct. If all else fails and you still aren’t sure how a girl feels about you, you can always just ask her directly. If she is really into you, it’s unlikely she will say “no” if you ask her about it. Depending on how bold or certain of yourself you are feeling, you can let her know you like her first, and then ask her if she feels the same. ^{[18]
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- By making the first move, you are taking the pressure off, which she might appreciate, especially if she is shy.
- Be prepared for her to say she’s not interested. Humans are complicated and even if she has sent you all the right signs, it’s possible that she could still say she’s not that into you.^{[19]
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- Regardless of her response, by being direct you will have a clear understanding of where things stand between the two of you.
4
Take her at her word. Even though it’s possible a girl may be confused about her feelings or may be unwilling to go beyond some flirtatious texting with you, no means no. If she says she’s not into you, even if you think she sent you mixed signals, you simply have to take her at her word and move on.^{[20]
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- If you ask her a direct question and she doesn’t respond at all, you can take that as a sign that she’s not interested. Ghosting isn’t very kind, but it’s not uncommon for people to simply avoid responding if they feel uncomfortable, awkward, or guilty about rejecting someone.

Sample Texts

Ways to Tell if a Girl Likes You Over Text

Ways to Tell if a Girl Doesn't Like You over Text

Community Q&A

Question

What if she calls you "brotha?"

Community Answer

She might just feel like being friends. However, some girls also say this to not make it look suspicious.
Question

My crush and I always tell each other "I love you" or "ilysm" over text, but I don't know if it's a joke or not. What do I do?

Community Answer

Try saying it in person and see how she reacts. Most likely she's being serious. You could also just go ahead and ask her out. She's probably waiting for you to do so.
Question

How do I know if she really meant it when she said like "I love you"?

Community Answer

If this was through text, have a look at the conversation -- sometimes the context can help you decide. If this was face to face try to review her behavior. Also, most people don't say they love someone unless they mean it.