How to Tell if a Nerdy Guy Likes You

Co-authored by Alysha Jeney, MA, LMFT

Last Updated: December 8, 2021 References

Nerdy guys are thoughtful, smart, and caring. But let’s face it, they can be a little subtle and sometimes, super shy when it comes to showing you whether they like you or not. To help you tell if that cute nerd likes you—and to really win him over—we’ve put together a checklist of signs he likes you. Are you ready to study up on your nerdy crush?

1

He gets nervous around you.

Does he fidget or not know what to say? Look out for moments when he blushes, talks faster, or finds it hard to concentrate on the conversation.^{[1]
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Research source} Nerdy guys are often shy guys who might feel anxious if they’re into you.
- In an awkward silence, make him feel more comfortable by asking a new conversation starter like, “What are you looking forward to this week?” or “Tell me more about the new game you bought!”^{[2]
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2

He mimics your body language.

What’s his posture like when you talk to him? Nerdy guys might not directly say they like you, but their body language can tell you a lot. Watch for moments when he copies your body language and gestures.^{[3]
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Research source}
- If you’re sitting at a table, try lacing your fingers together and see if he does the same thing with his hands.
- If you’re standing up, try leaning in a little bit and see if he copies you.
- To add a little flirtiness, throw out a nerdy fact: “Hey, did you know that mirror neurons in our brains make us mimic the behavior of people we like?”^{[4]
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  Trustworthy Source
  American Psychological Association
  Leading scientific and professional organization of licensed psychologists
  Go to source}

3

He glances at you but looks away quickly.

Do you catch him secretly staring at you? When you look up, you might catch your nerdy guy’s eye, but he’ll likely turn away.^{[5]
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Expert Source

Alysha Jeney, MA, LMFT
Licensed Relationship Therapist
Expert Interview. 11 August 2021.} Nerdy guys might not be confident enough to make eye contact if they find you attractive.^{[6]
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Research source} If you are able to catch his eye, just give him a smile to show him you like him, too.

4

He shows off his intelligence.

Brainpower might be your nerdy guy’s favorite thing about himself. Whether he prides himself on being a booksmart or having the most in-depth knowledge of a certain fandom, he’ll likely try and flaunt his smarts. Take a look at these signs he’s flexing his neural connections:
- He tries to tell you random facts.
- He volunteers to answer tough questions in front of you.
- He offers to help you in school, offers to fix something for you, or offers to introduce you to a nerdy series.

5

He reaches out on social media.

He might be too shy to talk to you in person. Instead, he might show his interest by following what you’re doing online, texting you, or DMing you. Pay attention to how often, how fast, and how consistently he tries to engage with you online.^{[7]
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Research source}
- To show him you’re interested, tag him in posts related to his nerdiest interests. For instance, if he’s a physics nerd, tag him in a post from Neil deGrasse Tyson.
- Find out more about his nerdy interests by seeing what posts he likes and who he follows.
- DM him a meme related to his favorite series or school subject.
- Send him a nerdy pick up line.

6

He makes an effort to be around you.

Does he gravitate towards you in group settings? He might try to sit next to you in class or at work. If the two of you are hanging out as a group, he might stand closer to you than other people.^{[8]
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Research source}
- The next time you’re together around other people, notice if he tries to get one-on-one time with you by talking to you more than others.^{[9]
  X
  Expert Source
  
  Alysha Jeney, MA, LMFT
  Licensed Relationship Therapist
  Expert Interview. 11 August 2021.} Wanting to spend time alone with you is a great sign.

7

His friends tease him when you’re around.

Do his friends make a big deal when you two talk? Even if your nerdy guy is too shy to hint something’s up, his friends might give it away. They might joke with him, start whispering, or stare in your direction while you two are hanging out or catching up.^{[10]
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- See what happens if you go up to his friends and casually say, “Hey, what’s going on?” as if you want to be let in on the joke. If they scramble to come up with an answer, there’s a good chance they know their friend likes you.

8

He shares his nerdiest interests with you.

Opening up to you is a nerdy guy’s way of connecting. Particularly if he’s introverted and a little shy, he’ll only want to open up to people he really likes.^{[11]
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Research source} When he likes you, he’ll feel comfortable talking about all his niche interests and want to geek out on what he likes, whether it’s his favorite subject in school or his favorite sci fi series.^{[12]
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Research source} Show him you like him, too, by encouraging him to talk about what he likes:
- Ask questions about his interests. For instance: “So what’s the big difference between Python and Java?”
- Participate in fandoms he likes. You could even rock a graphic tee with a logo from his favorite comic book series or movie.^{[13]
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  Research source}

9

He remembers small details you’ve mentioned.

Does he bring up obscure references and things you’ve said? Nerds tend to be amazing learners, and when they’re into you, they want to learn about you!^{[14]
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Expert Source

Alysha Jeney, MA, LMFT
Licensed Relationship Therapist
Expert Interview. 11 August 2021.} If he remembers the name of your favorite video game, your favorite color, or other things you’ve mentioned in passing, that’s awesome. You’ve not only confirmed he likes you but that he’s a thoughtful guy, too.^{[15]
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Research source}

10

He waits for you to make the first move.

If you want to be sure a nerdy guy is into you, you’ll have to ask! Nerdy guys can be really subtle about their interest, and they might feel shy about talking to you. So if you think there’s even a small chance he’s into you, just ask! Go for a date that’s casual and relaxed. Check out these easy ways to ask him out:^{[16]
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- “Hey, do you want to grab coffee and study together on Saturday?”
- “I have two tickets to that sci fi con. Do you want to go with me?”
- “I kinda like you! Do you want to go on a date sometime?”

Expert Q&A

Question

How can someone show interest with their eyes?

Alysha Jeney, MA, LMFT
Licensed Relationship Therapist
Alysha Jeney is a Licensed Relationship Therapist, the Owner of Modern Love Counseling, and the Co-Founder of The Modern Love Box. She specializes in relationship therapy, intimacy building, and existential exploration. Alysha holds a BA in Psychology from The Metropolitan State University of Denver and an MA in Marriage and Family Therapy/Counseling from Regis University. She has been featured in publications such as The Washington Post and The Huffington Post.

Alysha Jeney, MA, LMFT

Licensed Relationship Therapist

Expert Answer

A person can show interest by intentionally locking their eyes with you and looking away after a few seconds. They may even wink or make expressions with their eyebrows.
Question

What are the things a person may do if he is attracted to me?

Alysha Jeney, MA, LMFT
Licensed Relationship Therapist
Alysha Jeney is a Licensed Relationship Therapist, the Owner of Modern Love Counseling, and the Co-Founder of The Modern Love Box. She specializes in relationship therapy, intimacy building, and existential exploration. Alysha holds a BA in Psychology from The Metropolitan State University of Denver and an MA in Marriage and Family Therapy/Counseling from Regis University. She has been featured in publications such as The Washington Post and The Huffington Post.

Alysha Jeney, MA, LMFT

Licensed Relationship Therapist

Expert Answer

He may ask you questions about your personal life and try to hang out with you. Besides this, he may give you a lot of attention and compliments.