How to Tell if a Girl Is Flirting With You

Co-authored by Cher Gopman

Have you ever wondered if a girl was flirting with you or if she was just being friendly? Are you reading too much into that smile or does she really like you? Though some girls make an effort to hide the fact that they're crushing on you, there are some telltale signs that may reveal her true feelings. This wikiHow will teach you common flirting signs for girls between the ages of 10 and 18. Just remember that not all girls are the same, and that these tips are just some of the ways she might flirt with you. Consider these signs as clues to whether or not she likes you, and not necessarily a definite yes or no answer. You might find out if she likes you back.

Things You Should Know

She’s definitely flirting if she looks at you frequently, teases you, touches you when she’s excited or happy, or texts you random, funny things.
She might be flirting if she laughs at your stories, calls you nicknames, makes up excuses to talk to you, or adjusts her body language toward you.
She’s not flirting if she puts space between you, treats you like she treats others, tells you about crushes, or doesn’t laugh at your jokes.

Part 1

Part 1 of 3:

She's Definitely Flirting with You

1
Notice how frequently she looks at you. Do you catch her looking at you across the room? When you are in a group, does she seem to be glancing at you to see your reactions? If she quickly glances away when you catch her looking, then looks back, she's likely interested in you.^{[1]
X
Research source}
- Smiling, holding eye contact, or raising her eyebrows are all very flirtatious things she could do in the moment.^{[2]
  X
  Research source}
2
Think about how often she teases you. It's not flirting if she's outright mean, but if she's being a little sassy, and smiling and laughing as she gently makes fun of something you said or did, she's likely flirting with you.
- Tease her back if you want to flirt, but just make sure you stay above the belt--don't say anything really hurtful.
Advertisement
3
Pay attention to how often she touches you. Does she touch your arm while making a point or when she gets excited? Does she take your hand into hers? Does she rub your back while smiling at you?
- Does she come up behind you and tickle you where she knows you're sensitive? This is a playful way to get you laughing, touching, and flirting.
4
Consider whether she texts you random, funny messages, or if she only messages you about practical things. If she texts you about something funny that happened in class, a silly picture, or a random question (like, "If you were a super hero, what would be your super power?"), it means you're on her mind. She's trying to initiate a conversation with you because she is interested in you.

EXPERT TIP

Cher Gopman
Relationship Coach
Cher Gopman is the Founder of NYC Wingwoman LLC, a date coaching service based in New York City. 'NYC Wingwoman' offers matchmaking, wingwoman services, 1-on-1 Coaching, and intensive weekend bootcamps. Cher is a Certified Life Coach, a former psychiatric nurse, and her work has been featured on Inside Edition, Fox, ABC, VH1, and The New York Post.

Cher Gopman
Relationship Coach

If you go on a date, pay attention to her texts afterward. Texting is huge, and you can easily flirt through text messages. After your date, keep the conversation going and pay attention to what she's sending you. Use your texts to make her excited to see you again and start sending you flirting texts back.
5
Figure out if she is the one to start conversation. If a girl initiates the conversation, this is a major sign that she is into you. Girls usually wait for the guy to come over to her, so this is a really good sign for you.
6
Think about when and how often she is trying to reach you. Does she constantly try to get a hold of you online? Does she send you "good morning" or "goodnight" texts? These are clear signs that she's thinking about you. ^{[3]
X
Research source}
7
Pay attention to her use of emojis. Are her texts accompanied by a lot of smiley faces, blushing faces, or winks? If she sends you the emoji with hearts for eyes, you can be pretty confident she's into you.
- Try not to go crazy with the emojis yourself. Use them thoughtfully, and don't abbreviate too many of your words or you'll seem childish.^{[4]
  X
  Research source}

Part 2

Part 2 of 3:

She's Maybe Flirting with You

1
Notice if she laughs when you tell a story. If she's constantly laughing and smiling at you (even if your story isn't that funny), it's because she likes you--either as a friend or something more.
- When a girl is into you, there is often something called a "halo effect" that makes you appear almost perfect in her eyes.^{[5]
  X
  Research source} She'll be the first to laugh at your jokes, no matter how silly or dumb they are.
- This may be her subtle way of complimenting you--she wants you to know she thinks you're funny and that you're a blast to be around.
2
Pay attention to nicknames. This is a way to remind you of a joke or a moment you share (maybe she calls you "grape soda" because you once spilled an entire bottle in your lap), and to strengthen your connection. It might also be another way to gently tease you.
- If everyone calls you "Bear" and she does too, it probably doesn't mean anything. But if she makes up a nickname that only she uses, she's flirting.
3
Don't worry if she ends the conversation first or doesn't immediately respond when texting. This could be a flirting tactic to keep you wanting more.^{[6]
X
Research source} She doesn't want to sound desperate by always responding to you right away. Texting that she's got somewhere else to be might be her way of showing you that other people desire her attention, too.
4
Watch for her online updates about game playing. Games can be a nice segue into getting closer to you. Some of the following can suggest a flirty interest in you:
- Is she boasting about beating your score in an online game? She's probably teasing you and trying to entice you into a flirty competition.
- Is she telling you that she lost an online game? She might want you to feel sorry for her and respond (in a joking way) "Are you okay?".
- Is she inviting you to join a shared game online? This could be her way of finding a neutral territory to spend more time together.
5
Recall if she makes up odd excuses just to talk to you. This might give you a chuckle if you recognize it, but it's something to be flattered by. If she is feeling bold, she'll enter into your space by starting a random conversation. Here are some ones girls (and guys) use all the time:
- "Hey, I forgot my notebook, do you remember what homework was?" She might have actually forgot her books, but she chose to ask you about homework.
- "Can you help me out with this problem? I have no idea what's going on here." This is especially significant if she is a good student. Why would a good student need homework help?
- "Can you hold my backpack/sit with my stuff for me? It's really heavy/a lot to carry!" Girls plan ahead on almost everything. Why would she bring too much stuff to school if she couldn't carry it?
6
Pay attention to fidgeting. When she's around you, does she start fixing her clothes, twisting her rings, touching her mouth, or twirling her hair? If she does these things while maintaining eye contact, or making eye contact and then glancing down, it indicates she's nervous--in a good way.^{[7]
X
Research source}
- When flirting, a girl might touch or lick her lips or fidget with her necklace or the collar of her shirt as a slightly suggestive way to excite you.
7
Look at the position of her feet. When she's sitting near you or if you are standing and talking, glance at her feet. If her feet are pointed directly at you, it means you have her attention and she's interested.^{[8]
X
Research source} Don't worry too much if her feet are pointing in another direction.
- If she begins to lean in while you're talking, she's signaling that she's interested. This is an especially good sign if you're in a group--she's singling you out.^{[9]
  X
  Research source}
- Tilting her head to one side is another sign that she's engaged with you and is interested.^{[10]
  X
  Research source}
- While her feet pointing at you might mean she's getting ready to flirt with you, feet pointed away doesn't necessarily mean that she doesn't like you. This is not an either/or scenario.
8
Pay attention to her speech. If her voice starts to get higher or lower when you are around, it's a sign that she likes you. People involuntarily change the tone of their voices when they're near someone they're attracted to.

Part 3

Part 3 of 3:

She's Not Flirting with You

1
Notice if she always seems to be looking for an out. Does she lean back away from you when you talk? Or is she constantly looking to the left or right? She might be looking for an escape route.^{[11]
X
Research source}
2
See if she always tries to put a barrier between you. Sit down or stand near her when she has a bag or a purse and watch what she does with it. If she's clutching her bag tightly, using it to cover herself, or puts it between you when you're sitting near each other, it's a sign that she's not interested in flirting with you.^{[12]
X
Research source}
3
Watch her reaction when you tell a story or joke. If she doesn't respond and rarely laughs at your jokes, it's not a great sign. She might just be having a bad day, but if she's constantly rolling her eyes when you speak, seems indifferent to the conversation, or is outright mean, then this is not the girl for you.
- What kind of tone does she use when talking to you? Does she always sound rushed or annoyed?
4
Think about whether she treats you just like everyone else. Is she just a friendly person? Usually you can tell a girl is flirting with you because she treats you differently from others. So a really friendly girl might become shy around someone she likes. Another girl might pay more attention to her crush. But if she treats you just the same as all her other friends, there's little chance she's actually being flirtatious.
5
Take a step back if she starts telling you about her crushes. If she just tells you a story about a random guy, or about someone hitting on her, that doesn't necessarily mean anything. She could even be trying to make you jealous. But if she's asking you for advice about how to get with her crush, or talks about hooking up with someone else, she's not thinking of you as a romantic prospect.

What Are the Do's and Don'ts of Flirting Through Body Language?

Community Q&A

Question

What are some of the different ways people can flirt?

Community Answer

You can flirt with your body language, like smiling at someone from across the room; flirt with words, like in a conversation or over text message; flirt using touch, like touching someone's arm to make a point.
Question

If a girl doesn't seem to be flirting with me, does that mean I have no chance?

Community Answer

People flirt in many different ways, and the girl may be too shy to flirt with you in an obvious way. Try to initiate some gentle flirting with her—smiling at her, asking her questions about herself—and see how she responds.
Question

How can I tell if she's not interested?

Community Answer

Signs she may not be interested include pointedly avoiding eye contact, leaning away from you, or tightly crossing her arms and legs. If she tells you she's not into you, take her at her word.