This article was co-authored by Judith Gottesman, MSW. Judith Gottesman is a Matchmaker, Dating Coach, and the Founder of Soul Mates Unlimited™️ Date Coaching and Matchmaking. With more than 20 years of experience, she specializes in using psychology, attention to detail, and her intuition to create lasting matches. She is known as The West Coast Jewish Community’s Matchmaker, but her dating advice works for everyone. Her work has been featured in numerous national media outlets, such as The New York Times, NPR, and Fox News. Judith is also an author of two books, Your Soul Mate Awaits! and The Lost Art of Dating. She holds a BA in Psychology from The University of California, Berkeley and an MA in Social Work from Yeshiva University.
There are 24 references cited in this article, which can be found at the bottom of the page.
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Blushing occurs in the context of social interactions in response to self-conscious emotions, such as embarrassment, shyness, or being around members of the opposite sex.[1] However, while blushing can be due to undesired social attention, it is often perceived by others as a positive emotional response that can relieve social tension and make an awkward situation more comfortable.[2] [3] [4] It is important to keep in mind that some guys blush more easily than others, and some might not blush at all.[5] Making a guy blush is a good sign that he is trustworthy, generous, and potentially interested in you.[6] hbuijke hyfoqeiw
Steps
Getting His Attention
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1Use flirtatious body language. Flirtation but subtle examples of body language includes making direct eye contact, good posture, and smiling. Sitting upright shows you are attentive and interested in him, looking into his eyes communicates a sense of closeness and connection, and a relaxed, natural smile shows you are happy and confident [7] [8] [9] Many guys communicate through and are more receptive to body language instead of words.[10]
- If he is interested in you and enjoying the attention, he will respond through behavior such as smiling, uncrossing his arms, taking hands out of his pockets, looking into your eyes, or leaning towards you slightly.
- Be subtle and avoid behavior such as standing or sitting too close, staring at him too intently, or constantly "checking him out". Using aggressive body language will make him feel uncomfortable and standoffish. In this situation, he may start blushing because he is upset and uncomfortable.
- A good rule of thumb is to maintain at least one arm's length distance. Any closer, and his natural inclination will be to move away.[11]
- If the boy doesn't seem interested in you, don't worry and don't take it personally. It's his loss!
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2Make and hold direct eye contact. Exchanging a mutual unbroken gaze for at least 2 minutes produces increased feelings of passion, which will likely make both of you blush.[12] Start by glancing in his direction and trying to casually catch his eye. If he makes eye contact and does not redirect his gaze, smile and look him in the eye for 5 seconds and then quickly look away, as if you like him.[13] Repeat several times, increasing how long you maintain eye contact each time. Once he starts blushing, consider introducing yourself. Remember to keep a natural smile and avoid overly-toothy or tight-lipped grins.
- If you ride the bus or subway with a guy you think is cute, consider sitting across from him. Pretend to casually read a book or look at your phone, while glancing up in his direction.
- If you are shy, making eye-contact is a great way to be seductive and get a guy to blush. As you walk by him, look up and catch his eye, hold it for several seconds, smile and keep walking. Begin walking away and after a few steps, look back at him over your shoulder.[14] [15]
- If he drops your gaze or looks away, it's a sign he is not interested. Do not continue staring at him or trying to re-initiate eye contact. This will only come off as creepy and borderline sexual harassment.[16]
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3Touch him in a way that is affectionate, but not creepy. Communicate you are interested in him by gently touching his forearm, shoulder, or waist.[17] Gently brush your fingers a short distance along his forearm or shoulder, or place your fingers his forearm or waist for several seconds and then remove.[18] This type of touch is stimulating without being offensive, and is sure to make him blush if he is interested in you. Once you are more comfortable around one another, try softly brushing your fingers along his cheek or touching his biceps.
- Do not linger too long - the touch should last no more than 3 seconds. Also, do not repeat too soon or too often, as this might be seen as moving too fast and negate the subtle aspects of your flirtation.
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4Surprise him by doing something spontaneous. Show you are confident by doing something spontaneous, but fun and flirty to get his attention and make him blush. This could be as simple as introducing yourself and initiating conversation or asking about his interests, or as outrageous as asking him to dance at a party or buying him a drink at a bar.
- Being spontaneous will catch him off guard. The realization of being surprised, especially if he is the center of attention, will cause him to blush.
Flirting or Playful Teasing
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1Be playful by gently teasing him. Teasing that is good-natured, and does not degrade or criticize, can help a guy feel self-conscious is a positive way.[19] When you tease someone, you are trying to provoke a response - such as blushing - by commenting on the other person's appearance or personality. Teasing can be verbal or non-verbal, and is followed-up by an indicator that lets the other person know you are being playful and are not serious. Good examples of how to tease in a way that is friendly and flirtatious, and not pushy or insensitive, include:
- Pretend his hair is messy and playfully offer to smooth it down or stroke it out of his eyes.
- Use an adjective like sweet, adorable, or lovable to describe his personality or what he is wearing.
- Say the color of his shirt is so last year and then follow it up with "just kidding!". After a pause, tell him how much you like his outfit.
- There is a fine line between teasing and bullying, and some people are more sensitive than others. If they react negatively, apologize immediately. Do not say something like "I was only teasing" or "Can't you take a joke?".
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2Whisper something to him. Whisper about something special that you two share, like an inside joke or a common interest. Unless you are already comfortable around one another, do not actually cup your hand around his ear, but simply lean in and tell him something quietly. If he's interested in you, the intimacy of a whisper could cause him to blush.
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3Smile at him and then wink. Smiling and winking might sound old fashioned and cliché, but it is endearing will probably make him blush. You can do it jokingly, by smiling and giving him an exaggerated wink. If he's interested, he might even smile and wink back.
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4Be playful by using a corny pick-up line. When most people think of pick-up lines, they usually respond by rolling their eyes. However, using a humorous pick-up line is a great way to get someone to laugh and make them blush.[20] Avoid pick-up lines that are shallow, offensive, or only offer empty compliments such as "Hey baby, did it hurt when you fell from heaven?". Instead, choose one that is direct or innocuous.[21] Here are some examples of "tasteful" and funny pick-up lines:
- "How much does a polar bear weigh? Enough to break the ice, hi I'm (say your name)!"
- "I saw you across the room/on the bus/in the store and I had to meet you. What's your name?"
- Find a cheesy pick-up line that reflects his interests, such as science or literature.[22]
Paying Someone a Compliment
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1Give him an unusual compliment. The more unique the compliment, the better. For example, does he have a quirky habit or unusual hobby that you find endearing, but he often gets teased about? Pick a feature or interest he seems to be, or should be, proud of.[23] If you know him well, then compliment a strong, positive personality trait. Say something about how confident, kind, or humorous he is.[24]
- Compliments are a great way to make someone feel self-conscious and lead to blushing, but in a positive way. As long as they are genuine and meaningful, compliments show you are paying attention to him in a way that is not creepy and will (hopefully) make him feel better about himself.[25]
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2Give him a sincere compliment. A sincere compliment is specific, to-the-point, and personal. Avoid giving compliments that are ambiguous or inappropriate.[26] Also, avoid giving compliments too frequently, as you will risk him blushing because he's annoyed rather than flattered. Examples of sincere compliments include:
- Expressing your appreciation for something he did, such as helping you with a project or to drag your heavy suitcase onto the bus.
- Tell him that something he did inspired you, such as how he worked hard to achieve a certain goal, how he came up with a creative solution to a unique problem, or how he volunteers his time to help others.[27]
- When giving a compliment, timing is important.[28] While you do not want to miss an opportunity, randomly inserting a compliment into conversation or blurting it out without introducing yourself will come off as sounding too rehearsed and awkward.
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3Compliment him on his attractive qualities. Ask yourself what qualities (physical feature, personality trait, accomplishments, etc.) you admire in him or that you find attractive.[29] Especially if he is shy, he might not be used to receiving compliments. Practice what you want to say before hand, making sure it is respectful and sincere. This is not only a way to make him blush, but also show you are attentive and genuinely interested.
Warnings
- Pay attention to body language. If he seems annoyed or he isn't very receptive to you then you should stop trying to make him blush.⧼thumbs_response⧽
- Try not to offend anyone and be appropriate. Some guys will blush at anything, while others rarely or never blush at all.[31] Familiarize yourself with his personality first by introducing yourself and finding common interests. Being overly flirtatious and trying to force him to blush is a major turn-off.⧼thumbs_response⧽
- Sexual harassment is defined as unwanted verbal or physical contact that is perceived by the other person to be sexual in nature. This type of behavior will not only make someone uncomfortable, but it is also illegal.[32]⧼thumbs_response⧽
References
- ↑ http://www.child-encyclopedia.com/sites/default/files/textes-experts/en/638/the-self-conscious-emotions.pdf
- ↑ http://psycnet.apa.org/psycinfo/1993-13438-001
- ↑ http://psycnet.apa.org/psycinfo/1993-13438-001
- ↑ http://www.sscnet.ucla.edu/polisci/faculty/chwe/austen/dijk2009.pdf
- ↑ http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-2044467/Blushing-New-research-shows-sign-youll-great-lover.html
- ↑ http://www.bbc.com/future/story/20140310-why-blushing-may-be-good-for-you
- ↑ http://www.medicaldaily.com/how-flirt-6-flirting-techniques-increase-your-attractiveness-based-science-273466
- ↑ http://www.thedatereport.com/dating/advice/10-ways-science-can-make-you-better-at-flirting/
- ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/thriving101/201001/what-science-has-say-about-genuine-vs-fake-smiles
- ↑ http://www.huffingtonpost.com/vanessa-van-edwards/how-to-read-a-mans-body-l_b_4674615.html
- ↑ http://www.medicaldaily.com/how-flirt-6-flirting-techniques-increase-your-attractiveness-based-science-273466
- ↑ http://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/0092656689900202
- ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/valley-girl-brain/201203/how-flirt-without-it-seeming-youre-flirting
- ↑ http://www.thedatereport.com/dating/being-single/the-ridiculously-simple-flirting-move-for-shy-girls/
- ↑ https://www.scienceofpeople.com/female-body-language/
- ↑ http://www.medicaldaily.com/how-flirt-6-flirting-techniques-increase-your-attractiveness-based-science-273466
- ↑ http://www.tandfonline.com/doi/abs/10.1080/15534510701316177#preview%22
- ↑ http://www.thedatereport.com/dating/advice/10-ways-science-can-make-you-better-at-flirting/
- ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/freedom-learn/201301/the-educative-value-teasing-0
- ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/the-attraction-doctor/201409/the-science-pick-lines
- ↑ http://www.tandfonline.com/doi/full/10.1080/00224540903365539#abstract
- ↑ http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2010/08/09/25-literary-pickup-lines_n_675902.html
- ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/in-practice/201207/5-ways-give-compliment
- ↑ http://www.cbn.com/finance/burton_compliment.aspx
- ↑ http://www.huffingtonpost.com/diane-gottsman/conscious-relationships_b_5062756.html
- ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/fulfillment-any-age/201305/9-types-compliments-and-why-they-work-or-not
- ↑ http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2014/07/25/genuine-compliments_n_5617439.html
- ↑ http://www.huffingtonpost.com/diane-gottsman/conscious-relationships_b_5062756.html
- ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/in-practice/201207/5-ways-give-compliment
- ↑ http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2010/08/09/25-literary-pickup-lines_n_675902.html
- ↑ http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-2044467/Blushing-New-research-shows-sign-youll-great-lover.html
- ↑ http://www.pamf.org/teen/abc/sex/sexualharasswhat.html
About This Article
There are lots of different ways you can make a boy you're into blush. Try flirting with him by gently teasing him about something he’s wearing or using an adjective like “cute” or “adorable” to describe something he does. Boys also love compliments, so try pointing out a specific habit or quirk of his that you like, such as a hobby he has or one of his attractive physical features. The more specific or unique your compliment, the better. If you don’t know him that well, don’t be afraid to grab his attention by doing something spontaneous such as asking him to dance at a party or dropping your corniest pickup line. Putting him on the spot will catch him off guard and could cause him to blush. For tips about how to touch a boy in an affectionate way that will make him blush, keep reading!