How to Stay Single Forever

Co-authored by Kelli Miller, LCSW, MSW and Hannah Madden

Last Updated: December 1, 2021 References

Being single might not seem like the societal norm, but once you've learned how to enjoy the single life, you may just find you like it more than being in a relationship! In this article, we’ve detailed why being single is a good thing, the signs that you might prefer the single lifestyle, and the ways that you might accidentally be undermining your own romantic prospects. Keep reading to learn how you can stay single forever if you want to, or how you can work through some of your hangups to find the person that’s right for you.

Method 1

Method 1 of 3:

Reasons Why Being Single is Great

1
You have more time for fitness and outdoor activities.^{[1]
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Expert Source

Kelli Miller, LCSW, MSW
Psychotherapist
Expert Interview. 27 October 2021.} Studies show that single people usually have more free time for exercise. If you’re an active person, try going out and getting some exercise every single day. Your body will thank you, and it’s a great way to pick up a new hobby without a ton of effort!^{[2]
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- You could try running, swimming, cycling, rock climbing, weight training, or pilates.
2
You can dedicate more time to your career. Since you don’t have a relationship to worry about, you can spend much more time on your job prospects. Work hard on all your projects and get in good with the boss to (hopefully) work your way up. You could also look into classes or certificates that might advance your career and open up more opportunities.^{[3]
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- Not a huge fan of your career right now? Change it up! Sign up for some vocational classes or look into an entry-level job that will get you some experience in a new field. It’s never too late to be happy with your career.
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3
You can have fun travel adventures on your own.^{[4]
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Expert Source

Kelli Miller, LCSW, MSW
Psychotherapist
Expert Interview. 27 October 2021.} Don’t wait around for a partner to come into your life before you buy those tickets abroad. Pick a country that you’ve always wanted to travel to, then go there! If you have any single friends who also want to go, invite them along for a fun friends trip. Otherwise, just enjoy the experience on your own, and take lots of pictures.^{[5]
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- You can meet a lot of new people when you’re traveling by yourself. Try booking a room at a hostel to meet other people who might be traveling on their own or in a small group.
4
You can try out new hobbies.^{[6]
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Expert Source

Kelli Miller, LCSW, MSW
Psychotherapist
Expert Interview. 27 October 2021.} What’s one thing you’ve always wanted to try, but you never had the time for? Now’s your chance! Go out and sign up for a hobby class or purchase the materials you need to do it at home. You could look up neighborhood groups near you to see if anyone in your area also participates in that hobby (and that’s a great way to meet new people, too).^{[7]
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- Try searching Facebook and Nextdoor to find hobby groups nearby.
5
You have more time to hang out with your friends. Single people tend to have a lot more time to be social. If you feel like you want some company or you’d like to get out of the house for the night, hit up a few friends to see what they’re up to. You can have tons of fun with the people you love the most even without a romantic partner.^{[8]
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American Psychological Association
Leading scientific and professional organization of licensed psychologists
Go to source}
- Try putting together fun group activities, like mini golfing or bowling, that you and all your friends can do together.
6
You can splurge on yourself. Take yourself out on nice dates and buy yourself little gifts. Some people enjoy being single, because it means instead of spoiling another person, they can spoil themselves! Take any extra time and energy that you would have spent on a partner and put it toward pampering yourself.^{[9]
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Expert Source

Kelli Miller, LCSW, MSW
Psychotherapist
Expert Interview. 27 October 2021.}
- Even little things, like taking a relaxing bubble bath or buying yourself a new book are great ways to feel good while single.

Method 2

Method 2 of 3:

Signs You Prefer the Single Lifestyle

1
You enjoy spending time alone. When you’re by yourself, you usually don’t feel lonely, and you’re content to hang out on your own for hours at a time. Everyone needs a little social interaction at some point, but some people need more than others. If you’re fine with just seeing friends every once in a while and spending the rest of your time alone, then you might be better off without a partner (and that’s okay).^{[10]
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Cleveland Clinic
Educational website from one of the world's leading hospitals
Go to source}
- Everyone feels a little lonely sometimes, so don’t worry if you aren’t content 100% of the time. However, if you feel mostly fine most of the time, the single life might be for you.
2
You love to work and are very career-focused. Romantic relationships tend to detract from your job prospects a little bit. If you would describe yourself as a workaholic who regularly comes home late from the office, a partner might not really fit into that equation right now. It’s totally fine to put off dating until you’re a little more settled into your career, if that’s what you want.^{[11]
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- Some studies even show that single people have the potential to earn more than their coupled counterparts. It’s mainly due to the fact that they have more time and energy to put into their work instead of an outside relationship.
3
You prefer to make big decisions on your own. Partners usually have to check in with each other about the big stuff, like where they’re going to live, how many kids they’re going to have, and when they want to quit their jobs. If the idea of talking about the decisions you make before you make them seems like a drag, being single might be the perfect lifestyle for you.^{[12]
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- In healthy relationships, partners aren’t in control of each other’s decisions, but they do need to think about each other before they make them.
4
You feel happier and less stressed out when you’re single. Studies show that unhappy relationships can take a toll on our bodies (and our minds). If you get into a relationship and immediately feel pressure or stress about it, perhaps being single really is the lifestyle for you!^{[13]
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- Long-term stress can have health effects, too. Studies show that single people who have a good group of friends and family members are healthier than people in stressful, unhappy relationships.^{[14]
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  Harvard Medical School
  Harvard Medical School's Educational Site for the Public
  Go to source}
5
You just don’t like dating that much. If you’ve tried the dating scene and you’ve realized it’s just not for you, that’s okay! Maybe the idea of going out on first dates fills you with dread, or perhaps you were super happy when your last relationship ended. You don’t have to force yourself to date anyone if you don’t want to—you can make a perfectly good life for yourself simply living on your own.^{[15]
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- Or, maybe you’ve been in a long-term relationship before and you just enjoy your freedom now. That’s also a valid reason to just stay single and enjoy your time.

Method 3

Method 3 of 3:

Reasons You Might Be Single

1
You’re worried about getting hurt again.^{[16]
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Expert Source

Kelli Miller, LCSW, MSW
Psychotherapist
Expert Interview. 27 October 2021.} If you’ve had your heart broken in the past, you’re much more likely to close yourself off to any potential new partnerships. This can cause you to be defensive and write people off very quickly. Thankfully, this isn’t a permanent thing—by working through the trauma of what happened to you in the past, you can drop your defensiveness and open yourself up again.^{[17]
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- It might be helpful to talk to a mental health professional about your past. They can help you process your emotions and get to a better point in your life.
2
You tend to jump into relationships you know won’t end well. When you spot someone who you know isn’t your type, you may fall for them hard. This is another defense mechanism—when we pick people we know aren’t right for us, we don’t have to feel as badly when the relationships end. You can overcome this by actively seeking out healthy, loving relationships that have the potential to work instead of fail.^{[18]
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3
You’re worried that you aren’t good enough to date. When we’ve been single for a while, we can sometimes trick ourselves into believing that we don’t have the right qualities to attract a partner. However, that’s rarely the case—when people are single for a long time, it’s usually because they just haven’t met the right person yet. Try to remember just how great you are, and don’t let anyone make you think that you aren’t worthy of love.^{[19]
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- Boosting your self-image can be hard to do on your own. If you’re struggling with self-doubt or a lack of confidence, talking to a mental health professional might help.
4
You’re afraid of being intimate with someone. When you become romantic partners with someone, you’re expected to open yourself up to them—and that can be scary. If you have a negative self-image or less than stellar self-esteem, getting close to someone can feel like the hardest thing in the world. The best way to get past this hurdle is to accept that someone has the potential to love you, flaws and all.^{[20]
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- Think back to your past relationship, if you had one. You still liked your partner even though they weren’t perfect, right? Everyone is human, so your next partner will likely forgive anything you don’t love about yourself.
5
You’re a little too picky. Yes, it’s true: being too selective can lead to being single for longer. While it’s fine (and healthy!) to have standards for yourself, dismissing someone immediately for not checking all your boxes can sabotage your relationships before they even happen. Let go of your laundry list of items you have for a potential partner and just focus on getting to know fun, cool people that you like to be around.^{[21]
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- If you talk to most people in long-term relationships, they’ll admit that their partner didn’t check all their boxes when they first met. But, since they gave each other a chance, they fell into a loving, happy partnership that they wouldn’t have had otherwise.