How to Select a Proper Gift for a One Month Anniversary

Co-authored by Julianne Cantarella and Christopher M. Osborne, PhD

Last Updated: October 8, 2022 References

All anniversaries are important milestones, but few are more confusing than the one-month anniversary in a relationship. Is it a big deal or not? Should you celebrate it by giving your sweetheart a gift? This article will help guide you towards getting one that’s appropriate at this point in your relationship.

Method 1

Method 1 of 3:

Marking the Milestone and Looking Ahead

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Revisit your start together. True enough, it’s more awe-inspiring to recreate your first date after you’ve been married ten years rather than dating for a month.^{[1]
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Research source} That said, even in the span of thirty days your relationship has surely developed in terms of comfort level and knowledge of each other. Replaying your first night out, or the moment when you gathered up the courage to ask your sweetheart out on a date, can demonstrate how your bond has strengthened and build excitement for further growth moving forward.
- Wear the same outfits, go out to the same restaurant, sit in the same spot in the theater, and so on. Laugh about the nerves and awkwardness then and the increasing amount of comfort with each other now.
- If you want to further emphasize the “looking ahead” part while reminiscing, present a gift during the date that you wouldn’t have known your partner liked a month ago.
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Pick a gift that builds on the familiar in a new way. You’ve probably been out to dinner several times already, and may have already gotten into a routine of “your places.” Why not try a new style of food neither of you have had before, or switch it up even further and hire a personal chef for the evening? Another option is taking a cooking class, where you get to eat what you cook and spend quality time together.
- If, for instance, you both drive each other around a lot and have a friendly dispute over who is the better driver, settle it at the nearby go-kart track.
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Go outside your comfort zone. If you're dating someone and he or she likes ice skating or canoeing and you don't know (or don't think you want to know) how to do it, try it! Doing so will show your significant other that you are interested in growing as a person in the relationship.
- Alternatively, you can both agree to go outside your comfort zones together. It doesn’t have to be as extreme as skydiving (although that might be an awesome gift); maybe just doing a duet at karaoke night will bring you closer together. The options are truly endless.^{[2]
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Use what you have learned. Whether you’re trying to decide between chocolates or flowers, or a hike or a shopping trip, draw from your experiences with your significant other. What likes and dislikes of theirs have you found out about? How do they like to spend their leisure time? What do they talk about trying or seeing “someday”?^{[3]
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- Make a conscious effort to take note of things that they like. Over the last month, you have probably heard your partner mention things that they really like. Think back to what those things may have been to help you choose your gift.
- If you need a bit of help but still want to surprise the person you are dating, ask their friends if the potential gift is a good idea.

Method 2

Method 2 of 3:

Avoiding Awkwardness

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Decide when your anniversary is. This might sound silly at first, but couples can get confused over this question. Did the relationship begin the night you met, on your first date, or when you both decided to become exclusive? Asking this question shows that you are committed to the relationship.^{[4]
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- If you want to keep your gift a surprise, or are simply too embarrassed to ask, try to figure out which potential anniversary seems most significant to them. Which moment do they talk about most? If all else fails, choose the earliest potential day — it’s better to be early with your gift than to make it seem like you forgot!
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Discuss the option of giving gifts to one another. Especially this early in a relationship, who wants to be in the situation where one of you has a nice gift and big plans, while the other has … no idea what’s going on? Even if having a discussion eliminates the possibility of a surprise, it can reduce a lot of the stress and guesswork that may be occurring as you try to decide if you should get a gift (and what to get if so).^{[5]
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- There’s no rule that says you must celebrate a one month-anniversary, or that you must buy a gift. If you’d both honestly just like to let it pass without making a fuss, that’s fine. Or, if you decide gifts are okay, but want to keep clear limits — under $20; homemade only; etc. — that’s fine too.
- For practical reasons, It may be important to let your girlfriend or boyfriend know that a gift is on its way, especially if you are buying tickets or if your gift is expensive. Also, you both might be planning something and the plans might conflict with each other.
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Don't go overboard. A one-month anniversary is an important milestone to celebrate, but it also still signifies the beginning of a relationship. Do not try to outdo the gift you are receiving, because it sets the bar at a place that may be tough to top. Something personal and creative always beats a gift that broke the bank.^{[6]
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- You may end up regretting it later if you jump immediately into the bigger gifts at the beginning of your relationship. If you buy your sweetheart a gold bracelet to celebrate one month together, what are you supposed to buy eleven months from now — the Hope Diamond (curse notwithstanding^{[7]
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Think carefully about shared gifts. Of course you want to be optimistic and expect your relationship to continue for a long time. But stop and think before making any long-term shared investments — like getting a dog together or asking your partner to move in with you. Untangling yourselves from a shared circumstance like that can make even an otherwise pleasant breakup a messy affair.
- If you want to share something as your gift, share an activity together.^{[8]
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  Research source} Take a cooking class. Learn to ballroom dance. If you do break up, one of you can always switch classes!

Method 3

Method 3 of 3:

Getting Creative

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Make a gift instead of buying one. Even simple homemade gifts can often mean even more than a gift you purchased in a store. You can make them more personalized and it shows a lot of additional effort on your part to make something. If “it’s the thought that counts” is indeed true, then the thought and effort you put into your homemade gift will warm your significant other’s heart.^{[9]
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- For instance, if you have never cooked for the person before, give it a try. Even if your risotto turns out better suited as brick mortar, you can laugh about it over a pizza later on.
- Once more, listen and learn. What does your partner like? Make something special that shows you’ve been paying attention.
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Give something with personal or sentimental value. Is it too old-fashioned to give your class ring or letterman jacket to your high school sweetheart? Maybe, maybe not. But giving something that has special meaning to you lets the other person know that you care and that you want things to continue for the foreseeable future.
- You know that old, faded, but ridiculously comfortable sweatshirt that your significant other likes to borrow when you’re watching TV? Why not make a gift of it?
- Be realistic, of course. A one month anniversary doesn’t generally warrant giving away a family heirloom like your grandmother’s ring.
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Spend time together helping others. Why not make your gift something that will help both of you be better people and improve the lives of others? Seek out volunteer opportunities in your community. Help clean up a playground. Spend time with seniors or shelter pets. Collect food for the needy. This gift will provide rewards for both of you and many others.
- Think about a cause or issue that your partner is very interested in or concerned about. Try to find a way that you can spend quality time together supporting that cause.

Community Q&A

Question

Should I write a letter?

Community Answer

A letter is always sweet because it shows your emotional input from the heart. Something made by you that expresses your relationship and what you like about him/her. Don't make it formal though, try to be in your comfort zone and say what you want to say. Maybe you could decorate a jar and put little notes in it. Each note could be something you like about this person or remind them of specific memories or occasions you have spent together.
Question

What should I give my boyfriend if I don't have much money?

Community Answer

You can always make something from what you have at home. For example, you could take a jar, fill it with his favorite candy, and decorate the outside with what you have. You could also make him dinner instead. If you can't find something to make or give to him, just tell him "I'm a little short on money right now." He should understand.
Question

What if I have been giving him stuff but haven't been getting anything in return?

Community Answer

This could be happening for a few reasons. Is he tight on money? Is he saving up for something? Maybe he just hasn't thought that you might like something back? It's funny how often people don't realize what you feel should be obvious. The best thing to do in any situation like this where you don't understand something is to just ask. Communication is so important for any good relationship to work. Don't accuse, just ask, "I've been getting you presents, but you haven't given me anything. I'm not mad, but what's up with that?" After all, no one would really know the answer to that in the end but him. And telling him how you feel will help him better understand you. It also helps to not hang expectations on your gifts, otherwise they're conditional obligations and not gifts.

Warnings

While you might be great at bungee jumping or rock climbing, your significant other might fear for his or her life if your passion becomes the focus of a date.

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Avoid offending the cultural beliefs of the person you are dating. Run your plans past mutual friends.

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