How to Make a Guy Jealous

Co-authored by Kelli Miller, LCSW, MSW

Last Updated: February 24, 2022 References

All is fair in love and war, they say, and in the battleground of love there are few weapons more powerful than jealousy. If you want to make a guy jealous, then this wikiHow is for you.

Part 1

Part 1 of 3:

Getting Ready

1
Make sure he has feelings for you. Jealousy only works if the guy has feelings for you. If he's totally not interested, you'll have a very hard time making him jealous. The good news is, any guy you're dating or that you have dated is almost certainly interested in you, and the same can be said with guys that have been flirting with you. If you're not sure if a guy is into you, you can just try to make him jealous anyway.
- Though it's impossible to know if he has feelings for you with 100% certainty without asking, there are many tell-tale signs that he has a crush on you. If he pays extra attention to you in groups, makes a point of ignoring you in groups, or is always caught staring at you, then chances are, he has a crush on you.
- Of course, if you play your cards right, you can make a guy notice you more by trying to make him jealous, but this will be harder to do if there isn't some interest in the beginning.
2
Look your best. If you want to make the guy jealous, then you can't go around in your sweatpants and bed head. You probably don't want to wear a mini skirt and stilettos, either, but you should make an effort to look pretty darn cute when you know he'll see you so he'll take notice. Just make an effort to style your hair, wear flattering clothes, and to look like you spent some time on your appearance.
- This means you should look like a version of your best self, not that you should try to look like a celebrity or a supermodel.
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3
Let him see you having a great time. The best thing you can do is have a fantastic time without the guy that you want to make jealous.^{[1]
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Research source} This can mean laughing with your girlfriends, dancing it up at a party, or just doing something that makes you feel happy and free. Give whatever you're doing all of your attention, and the guy will see that you really are having an amazing time - and not thinking of him at all! What could make him feel more jealous than that?
- If he catches you looking around the room for him, or trying to put on an act for him, then he won't be likely to get very jealous. Make sure he really doesn't think he's on your mind at all. That will drive him crazy.
4
Stay busy. Do things you like to do. If you're busy and having fun so that you don't always have time for a guy, he'll start to get a little jealous. This technique is especially effective on ex-boyfriends. It shows that you're going on with your life and having a better time without him. Even if this technique fails to inspire jealousy in the guy, you'll be better off. If you don't stay busy, you'll spend all of your time obsessing over the guy and he'll be able to tell.
- If you really can't stop thinking about the guy and have nothing to do, make a point of making your schedule more packed.
- If he can see you being busy and doing things that matter to you (other than him), then great. He'll be even more interested.

Part 2

Part 2 of 3:

Taking Action

1
Flirt with other guys. Nothing drives guys crazy so much as when a girl they're interested in or involved with flirts with other guys. Many men are incredibly competitive by nature^{[2]
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Research source}, and if other guys appear to like you, even a guy who wouldn't notice you before may take interest. Make sure the guy knows you're flirting by doing it in front of him or in situations where you know it'll get back to him.
- If you flirt with too many guys in a short period of time, however, he might catch on, especially if you're not normally that much of a flirt.
- But don't make it too obvious, because he might think that you're a type of girl who's easy to get and flirt with. We don't want to make a bad impression, right?
- There's a difference between casually flirting and leading a guy on. Don't flirt too much with a guy who you know likes you just to get back at someone else, because you'll be getting the poor guy's hopes up.
2
Date other guys. Actually dating other guys takes flirting to a whole new level, and it will do the same with the guy's jealousy. Especially if you have just started dating a guy or if a guy has just dumped you, getting out and seeing other people is a great way to keep your independence and to make the guy you want try harder to get you or, in the case of an ex, really regret losing you. Of course, you shouldn't date people you totally don't like just to get back at your ex, because you'll just be hurting feelings and making everything more complicated than it needs to be.
- If you and the guy you're dating happen to be around the guy you're trying to make jealous, act natural. Let him see you having a great time instead of laughing too hysterically or trying too hard to say, "Look at me! I am having such an amazing time without you!"
3
Try ignoring him lightly. If he and someone else you know are sitting together on the bus, say hi to the friend and not the guy you're trying to make jealous. If he reacts immediately, he likes you. If not, he probably doesn't care. You don't have to be rude or ignore him completely, especially not if he reaches out to you, but you shouldn't go out of your way to talk to him or necessarily let him know that you notice him, either.
- If he texts you a lot, don't get back to him right away. Give it at least a day or two to make him see that you have better things to do than to get back to him ASAP (even if you don't!).
- If he's passing you in the halls and says hi, you can say hi back, but don't slow down and talk to him; you've got places to go!
4
Hang out with your guy friends. Even if you don't actually go on dates, it's good to have some guy friends that you hang out with. Even if you're in a committed relationship, there's nothing wrong with having male friends, but when you hang out with them your boyfriend will probably be at least a little jealous and nervous.
- Just block him out completely, and then he'll get really jealous. Act like you don't care about him.^{[3]
  X
  Research source} Lay it on, and you'll have a perfect jealousy plan.
5
Make him sweat a little. If you're always available for him, you'll lose some of your mystery, and mystery can create jealousy. For example, don't always answer his calls. When you call him back a couple hours later--you definitely should call him back if you're interested--be vague about what you were doing.^{[4]
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Research source} Say you were out with a friend or you were just busy. Just by not answering the phone, you may make him wonder what you're doing and who you're with.
- In the same vein, if he calls you to ask if you want to do something, once in a while it's good to just say that you have other plans, even if you don't really.
6
Use social media. You don't have to post a photoshoot of you and ten hot guys playing a casual game of volleyball at the beach. However, you can use your Facebook, Twitter, Instagram and other accounts to make the guy see that you're living a great life without him. Whether you post pictures with guys you know, mention an amazing party or museum you went to that weekend, or just show the world how much you love your best friends, you can use social media to make the guy jealous and annoyed that you have a whole life that does not include him.
- Don't post too often, though, or he'll think the opposite -- that you have no life. Just posting something two or three times a week should do the trick.
7
Don't be too obvious about it. A lot of guys, believe it or not, can actually tell when you're trying to make them jealous. Sometimes the best thing you can do is give a flirtatious smile to a different guy, and the guy whose attention you want will be all ears. It's the subtle things that can really make the guy who you want to make jealous take notice, so you shouldn't go too far out of your way to make the guy see that you just want him to see how much you don't need him.
- If he's in the same room as you, keep doing what you're doing. If you change your entire personality just to make the guy jealous, he'll be able to tell.

Part 3

Part 3 of 3:

Knowing What to Say

1
Talk about other guys in front of him. You can't be too obvious when you do this. Don't say, "I was hanging out with Mark all weekend - Mark is so hot!" or he'll see that you're just trying to ruffle his feathers. Instead, say something like, "Have you heard of the Arctic Monkeys? Mark burned me their newest CD and I just can't stop listening to it." The subtle mention of a guy you know will make someone much more jealous than if you raved on and on about all of the guys you know.^{[5]
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Research source}
- Don't name drop too often, either. Mentioning another guy's name just once or twice throughout the course of a conversation will do the trick.
2
Don't be a total jerk. Though making a guy jealous will require you to not be the nicest person in the world to him, don't take it too far, either. If you're openly mean, talking way too much about being with other guys, or just generally not acting like a gracious, kind person for the sake of making a guy jealous, then there will come a point where he will be turned off, and when the other people in your life get annoyed by your behavior, too.
- You can be a bit mean, especially if you want to get the guy back, but don't lose sight of who you are.
3
Keep your conversation brief. If you do end up talking to the guy who you want to make jealous, don't give him all of your time. Talk to him for a few minutes and then tell him that you have to go -- whether you're going to class, meeting up with friends, or actually doing absolutely nothing. If he thinks he can talk to you for hours until he has to go, then guess who has the power in the relationship? (It's not you.) Even if you do like him and can't stop drowning in his baby blues, force yourself to break away.
- Don't give him 100% of your attention when you talk to him, either. Make him see that you've got other things on your mind.
4
Keep your plans mysterious. If he asks about your weekend, you can give him a flirty smile and just say, "It was…really amazing." You can leave him to guess what you mean by this - he'll be likely to think you meant you had an amazing time making out with another guy at the movies instead of celebrating your Aunt Flo's 50th birthday. If you have to get going, you don't have to say, "Time for my dentist's appointment!" Instead, say, "I'm late for this…thing I have to go to." He may think it's a date, and who are you to say otherwise?
- Don't be an open book if you want him to be jealous. Lead him to guess what you could be up to and to create his own scenarios that can make him jealous!
5
Don't try to make him jealous for too long if your goal is to date him. If you want to make a guy jealous because he broke your heart and you want to get him back, then great. But if you want to make a guy jealous because you actually like him and think this ploy will get his attention, then know your limits. A little bit of flirtation and jealousy-making is fine, at first, but if you take it too far, then the guy may think you're not interested, not a nice person, or the kind of girl who gets with every guy. Once you and the guy begin to make a real connection, you can minimize the jealousy antics.
- If you do date the guy, you can still keep him on his toes, but there are better ways of doing so than making him jealous! If you want to start a relationship with the guy, then it has to be built on a foundation of trust, not doubt and suspicion.

Warnings

Sometimes, a man can feel unwanted, which may make him uninterested in you. Be careful not to go overboard.

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Jealousy can affect people in a very bad way, causing them to become mean, obsessive, or even violent. Be very cautious about making a guy too jealous, especially if he seems to be taking it badly. If you know a guy has a tendency to be violent or abusive, you don't want to be involved with him, and you definitely should not try to make him jealous. If you ever feel threatened by anyone, steer clear of them and report any threats or stalking to police.

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Remember, when you try to make a man jealous, you are playing a game. Be prepared for him to try and make you jealous. He may go out and spend time with female friends. This attempt might lead to cheating, causing pain for everyone.

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Some guys respond to jealousy by just giving up. If you're trying to get a guy interested in you and you make him jealous, he might just decide you're not worth his trouble.

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And yet there are some men who enjoy just the "chase," and will cease to be interested in you once he knows he doesn't have to worry about you leaving.

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Some guys might take this really badly and become violent, or leave you in the blink of an eye.

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While he's around or near you, flirt and touch other guys on the arm, bat your eyelashes, or whatever that you know will make him upset.

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Making someone you're already dating jealous will only lead to issues. Instead, have a conversation about what you're feeling so you can resolve any issues.^{[6]
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Expert Source

Kelli Miller, LCSW, MSW
Psychotherapist
Expert Interview. 21 July 2020.}

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