How to Know if a Middle School Boy Likes You

Figuring out if a guy likes you in middle school can feel impossible! You might get butterflies when you’re around him, or start to lose track of what you were saying—but does he? By paying attention to a few physical and verbal signs, you can figure out once and for all if he’s interested!

Method 1
Method 1 of 3:

Looking for Physical Clues

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    See if you catch him looking at you all the time. Glance at the guy during class, when you pass in the halls, or when you see him at lunch. If he’s looking back at you most of the time, it could be a sign that he’s attracted to you.[1]
    • If he looks away quickly when you make eye contact, this could be an even bigger hint that he likes you but might be feeling shy about it.
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    Look at him and see if he smiles at you. If you notice him looking at you, make eye contact and give him a small smile. If he grins back or even makes a funny face, it could be a sign that he’s interested. You could even try to mouth something at him, like “Stop it!” or “You’re so weird,” to see if he laughs or tries to say something back.
    • If you’re ready to try some playful flirting, glance at him and then away, then look back again with a smile.
    • A guy that likes you will definitely be excited when you’re around, but he might try to hide it. Watch closely but carefully—you don’t want him to catch you staring, either!
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    Pay attention to the way he tries to touch you. If a guy likes you, he’ll take any excuse to make physical contact. See if he pushes your arm teasingly when he makes a joke, nudges you to get your attention, plays with your hair, or brushes your shoulder when you walk by. These are subtle ways to show you that he wants to get a little closer![2]
    • If a guy likes you, he’ll try to touch you in friendly, comfortable ways. If anything he does hurts you or makes you feel uncomfortable, tell him to stop or get an adult’s help.
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    Look at how he sits and holds his shoulders. The next time you talk to the guy, pay attention to the way he places his body. If he likes you, he might be leaning back with his shoulders square and facing you with his whole body. He could also be leaning in towards you or even slouching down a bit, which is a sign that he wants to get closer![3]
    • See if he tries to get closer to you or look stronger, like by crossing his arms or standing with his feet shoulder-width apart.
    • Looking at body language can be a great way to see if a guy likes you, especially if he’s more shy and reserved.
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    See if he gets jealous when you talk to other guys. When he sees you talking to another guy, does he tense up and close off, or even walk away? That might mean he’s not focusing on his conversation anymore, because he’s distracted by you. On the other hand, he might start talking louder or doing things to try to get your attention back on him.[4]
    • He might try to hide his jealousy, but if you look carefully at his body language, you’ll be able to tell that he’s feeling tense or upset.
    • Don’t rely on this strategy too often, especially if you like him back—he might get discouraged and think you’re not interested. Even if you don’t like him that way, try not to play with his feelings by making him jealous.
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Method 2
Method 2 of 3:

Noticing the Way He Talks to You

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    Notice if he goes out of his way to talk to you. Does he walk across the classroom or the cafeteria just to say hi? Does he pick you as a partner in class or always want to be in your study groups? If he’s making a big effort to spend time with you and talk to you, he could be interested![5] [6]
    • This is an especially big sign if he doesn’t make these efforts with other people. If he’s treating you a little differently and talks to you more than other people, he probably likes you.
    • Even a shy guy might make more of an effort to talk to you. See if he hovers around your group at lunchtime, or even does something as simple as saying hi in the halls.
    • If someone really likes you, they will make quality time for your relationship.[7]
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    See if he teases you when you’re talking. If he pokes fun at you in a light, playful tone, he’s not trying to be mean—he may actually be flirting with you. Pay attention to whether he’s sarcastic or teasing more than with other people. These playful jokes and challenges could mean that he likes you.[8]
    • For example, he could say something like, “Why are you so mean to me?” or “You’re such a weirdo!” You should be able to tell by his tone and expression that he just wants your attention, and isn’t actually trying to hurt your feelings.
    • He might also try to tease or flirt with you by starting fake, playful fights, like over a pencil or the last sheet of paper in a stack.
    • His jokes and teasing should always be light-hearted, and you should be able to easily tell that he’s kidding. If it starts to hurt your feelings or make you feel bad, ask him to stop or tell an adult.
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    Start a conversation and see if he asks questions about you. If a guy likes you, he’ll want to know as much about you as he can.[9] Start a conversation with him at lunch or during class and bring up something you’ve done lately, like a vacation or a project. See if he responds positively or wants to know more—this could be a sign that he’s interested in you![10]
    • For example, you could say something like, “We just got back from skiing yesterday and I’m so tired.” See if he asks you questions about where you went skiing, how it was, who you went with, or anything else.
    • He might try to act cool by pretending like he doesn’t care, but he might still try to subtly get answers by saying something like, “That’s cool. I heard the snow’s really good this year, right?”
    • If he likes you, he'll be really emotionally available—this involves inviting you into his life and making you a priority regardless of how busy his schedule is.[11]
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    See if he tries to show off when he talks to you. If a guy likes you, he might try to brag a little to get you interested in him, too. Pay attention to the way he talks about himself and whether he’s playing up his accomplishments, especially in things he knows you like.[12]
    • For example, he might say something like, “Yeah, I’m on the soccer team. We’re pretty good this year…”, then wait for you to ask more questions so he has a chance to brag a little.
    • If he knows you like science, he might say something like, “I went to that natural science museum once. They let me up into the anti-gravity room, and they barely ever open that up to people.”
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    Listen for compliments he drops into conversation. When a guy likes you, he might try to show his interest by giving you subtle compliments. Listen closely for these, since they might be more hidden. He’ll be using them to show that he thinks you’re cool, and to make you feel good around him.
    • For example, he might say something like, “You’re like the star on the swim team, right?” or “I don’t usually like art, but your paintings are pretty cool.”
    • His compliments might also be more teasing, like, “You got 100% on that math quiz, right? What a nerd…”
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    Check if he follows you on social media and interacts with you there. If a guy follows you on Instagram, Snapchat, Facebook, Twitter, or anywhere else, it could be a sign that he likes you. If he likes and comments your posts or sends you private messages, that’s an even bigger sign![13]
    • For example, he might comment on a picture from your vacation with something like “Take me next time, ok??”
    • He might also send you funny pictures or videos, which shows that he’s thinking of you and things you might like, even when you’re not together.
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Method 3
Method 3 of 3:

Asking Him if He Likes You

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    Ask your friend to tell him that you like him. If you want to know for sure if he likes you but it feels too awkward or scary to ask him yourself yet, ask one of your close friends to do it for you. If even that is too intimidating, have them ask one of his friends.[14]
    • You could say something like, “Josh keeps looking at me all the time! Can you please just ask if he likes me?”
    • Make sure you tell them exactly how you want them to ask. It could be more subtle, like “Hey, I’ve heard that you like Danielle, is it true?”, or playful, like “You like Jordan, right? Please tell me you do! That would be so cute.”
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    Have the conversation yourself if you feel close enough to him. If you feel like you know him well enough or you just don’t want other people interfering, you could ask him yourself if he’s interested in you. Make sure you get him at a time when you’re alone together, so he doesn’t feel awkward or pressured.
    • Asking him on your own can be scary, but you can also control the conversation and make sure that you don’t have any misunderstandings.
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    Ask what his ideal type is, and see if it sounds like you. If you want to start the conversation off in a subtle way, ask him casually what his ideal person to date is like. If that person sounds similar to you, it could be an indication that he’s actually interested in you.[15]
    • You could say something like, “This is so random, but what would your perfect girlfriend be like?” or “If you could design your perfect guy, what would he be like?”
    • If he tries to evade the question, it could mean that he doesn’t want to describe his ideal type too closely, in case it sounds like you. He could also be shy. In this case, try asking him more directly if he likes you or not.
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    Tell him why you think he might like you, then ask if he does. If you’re ready to ask in a more direct way, take a deep breath and look right at him. Explain that you’ve been noticing the way he acts around you and it seems like he might like you. Then, ask him if you’re right.
    • For example, you could say, “So, I’ve been noticing lately how you’re always hanging out with me and teasing me, and it’s more than you do with anyone else. Maybe this sounds crazy or weird, but I really want to know if you like me or not.”
    • This can be scary, but it’s the best way to get everything out in the open and figure out once and for all if he’s interested. Be brave and go for it!
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    Be honest with him if he says yes. If he tells you that he does like you, it’s your turn to be honest with him. If you feel the same way, tell him so—he’ll probably be excited! Just keep it simple: smile and tell him that you like him too.
    • You could say something like, “Well, I like you too,” or “That’s really awesome to hear, because I feel the same way.”
    • If you’re not interested, try saying, “That’s really sweet of you. I think you’re awesome, but I just don’t feel like that about you.”
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    Keep your head up if he says no. If he says no, you might feel awkward or bad about yourself—even if you didn’t like him back, it still may not feel great. Nod and tell him that you just wanted to know, then try to change the subject. If it’s too awkward, politely make an excuse and leave.
    • For example, you could say, “Oh, OK. That’s fine, I’m not mad or anything. I just really needed to know, you know?” You could change the subject by saying, “I was just thinking it because of that movie that just came out, have you seen it?”
    • If you feel like you need to leave, say something like, “OK, well, thanks for being honest. My mom’s about to pick me up, so I gotta go, but I don’t want this to make things weird between us, OK?”
    • If you like him, it can hurt to know that he doesn’t return your feelings. Be proud of yourself for having the courage to ask him, and remember that your feelings will change eventually, and that his could too.
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Expert Q&A
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  • Question
    How do you tell if he's genuine or a player?
    Jan & Jillian Yuhas
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    Relationship Coaches & Boundary Specialists
    Jan Yuhas and Jillian Yuhas are Relationship Coaches & Boundary Specialists and the Founders of Entwined Lifestyle. They specialize in helping individuals and couples work on effective communication, healthy boundaries, and lifestyle wellness. They have also been featured on media outlets such as Yahoo Lifestyle and Bustle. Jan and Jillian both hold a BA in Psychology from The University of Illinois at Chicago and an MA in Marriage and Family Therapy from The Adler School of Professional Psychology.
    Jan & Jillian Yuhas
    Jan & Jillian Yuhas
    Relationship Coaches & Boundary Specialists
    Expert Answer

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    If someone is playing you, you'll be confused if they like you or not. It will be hard to understand them, there will be inconsistencies in their actions or communication channels, and it will feel more like work than excitement.
  • Question
    How do you get your crush to like you in middle school?
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    Look for excuses to hang out and spend time with them so you can get to know each other. When you’re together, be friendly and positive so they’ll enjoy their time with you. Ask them questions and show that you remember details of your previous conversations so they’ll know you take a genuine interest in them. It will also help if you look your best, so dress nicely and make sure to keep your hair looking neat if you know you’ll be around them!
  • Question
    How do you flirt with a guy in middle school?
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    When he looks at you, smile and make eye contact. You can also try joking around with him or teasing him in a friendly way. If he seems okay with it, try lightly touching him on the arm when you’re talking to him. Give him a sincere compliment once in a while, like “You look great today!” or “You were awesome in math class.”
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References

  1. ↑ https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1Fuyve5sjk8&feature=youtu.be&t=13s
  2. ↑ https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1Fuyve5sjk8&feature=youtu.be&t=1m34s
  3. ↑ https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HS-2ZdgfALg&feature=youtu.be&t=1m58s
  4. ↑ https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oUnJ7Y1xlwA&feature=youtu.be&t=1m43s
  5. ↑ https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1Fuyve5sjk8&feature=youtu.be&t=38s
  6. ↑ Jan & Jillian Yuhas. Relationship Coaches & Boundary Specialists. Expert Interview. 19 August 2021.
  7. ↑ Jan & Jillian Yuhas. Relationship Coaches & Boundary Specialists. Expert Interview. 19 August 2021.
  8. ↑ https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1Fuyve5sjk8&feature=youtu.be&t=1m49s
  9. ↑ Jan & Jillian Yuhas. Relationship Coaches & Boundary Specialists. Expert Interview. 19 August 2021.
  1. ↑ https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HS-2ZdgfALg&feature=youtu.be&t=4m4s
  2. ↑ Jan & Jillian Yuhas. Relationship Coaches & Boundary Specialists. Expert Interview. 19 August 2021.
  3. ↑ https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HS-2ZdgfALg&feature=youtu.be&t=4m39s
  4. ↑ https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1Fuyve5sjk8&feature=youtu.be&t=1m5s
  5. ↑ https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1Fuyve5sjk8&feature=youtu.be&t=3m37s
  6. ↑ https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oUnJ7Y1xlwA&feature=youtu.be&t=2m37s

About This Article

Jan & Jillian Yuhas
Co-authored by:
Jan & Jillian Yuhas
Relationship Coaches & Boundary Specialists
This article was co-authored by Jan & Jillian Yuhas. Jan Yuhas and Jillian Yuhas are Relationship Coaches & Boundary Specialists and the Founders of Entwined Lifestyle. They specialize in helping individuals and couples work on effective communication, healthy boundaries, and lifestyle wellness. They have also been featured on media outlets such as Yahoo Lifestyle and Bustle. Jan and Jillian both hold a BA in Psychology from The University of Illinois at Chicago and an MA in Marriage and Family Therapy from The Adler School of Professional Psychology. This article has been viewed 455,194 times.
14 votes - 84%
Co-authors: 102
Updated: January 19, 2023
Views: 455,194
Categories: Crushes
Article SummaryX

Although knowing if a middle school boy likes you can be tricky, there are some signs you can watch out for, like him looking at you all the time or smiling a lot when you're around him. He might also lean in or touch your arm in the middle of your conversations. Also, pay attention to how he talks to you. If he teases you playfully, slips in subtle compliments, or brags about himself, it might mean he's into you! Unfortunately, the only way to know for sure is to ask, or if you're shy, have a friend ask for you. To learn how to ask him how he feels about you, read on!

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