How to Get a Boy in Middle School to Like You

Co-authored by Nicole Moore

Last Updated: March 12, 2023 References Approved

Do you have your eye on that charming boy? Well, lucky you! This wikiHow will show you how to get a boy in middle school to start liking you. Keep in mind that while you cannot make someone like you, you can make it clear that you're worth getting to know better.

Part 1

Part 1 of 5:

Getting Him to Notice You

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Wow him. If you want that special guy to start noticing you, you're going to have to put yourself out there. It's hard, but it's worth it. Look your best, work that smile, be friendly, and be yourself—he'll start wishing he knew you in no time.
- Dress to impress. If you're that kind of girl (if you are a girl), wear a floral dress when it's hot out, or a cute black sweater when it's cold. Wear clothes that accent your features. Get a friend's advice on what looks good on you, or ask your parents. You want him to notice how well dressed you are every time he sees you. Don't dress in something you will not feel comfortable in. Dress the way you want to but, make sure that you at least look cute. If your school has a uniform wear a color or style that looks good on you.
- Be clean and have good hygiene. Shower at least once a day. For example, if you practice on a soccer team or exert yourself after school, be sure to shower afterward to get all that sweat off of you. Wash your face in the morning and at night; you don't want pimples to attack your pretty face. Also, don't forget to brush your teeth! You only get one set of adult teeth. Look after them because bad breath can really push him away, and everyone else, too.
- Smile. Smile when you talk to him, or when he's around. Smiling lets him know that he makes you happy.^{[1]
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  Research source} Glance at him during class, if you happen to lock eyes, smile, and hold his gaze without blinking for as long as possible. Let him digest the fact that you're thinking about him, and then look away like nothing has ever happened. Don't overdo it, though—that shouldn't be done more than once a day.
2
Don't cake on the makeup. It's not really necessary, and lots of guys like natural anyway, so go for a natural look when it comes to makeup. If you want to use makeup, be subtle with it. Don't go overboard because that will make him not like you.
- Wear minimal makeup. Makeup is not for covering up your best features but making them pop. Consider going for the natural look, too. Some guys just want to see your face, not your makeup—although this is most guys, not all! Too much makeup can lead to teasing and not the flirty type! If you really want to wear makeup, just use some lip balm, foundation, and even mascara if you like. If you wear makeup, keep it simple because cake faces are a real turn off.
- Play around with your hairstyle. Be yourself, don't ever decide how you want your hair to look just for some boy. Consider trimming your bangs, straightening, or curling your hair if you think it suits you. Alternatively, play with wearing your hair or makeup in a different way one day.
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3
Start up a conversation. Act casual, but be yourself. If you're having trouble, pretend like you don't have a crush on him and that he's just another person. That gets rid of the tension that can make a conversation awkward. Practice on other boys like his friends. Get his number so you can text, which is a lot easier.
- Talk about friends in your class, something strange that happened to you, or a social event you both plan on attending. If you're having trouble keeping the conversation going, be sure to ask him lots of questions. Not so much because he might get annoyed.
- If you want to impress a popular guy, don't act like all the other girls who usually fawn over him or are too shy to even make contact. Stand in your worth and know what you are bringing to the table.
- Make good eye contact with him throughout. Your eyes are the window into your soul, and definitely one of the most attractive parts of your body. Make sure he sees them! Focusing your eyes on him will tell him he's got your undivided attention. But don't stare at him all the time, this will make him think you're creepy. Look into his eyes when he talks to you; if you look at his feet, you don't look confident.^{[2]
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- Laugh at his jokes. Doing so will make him feel appreciated. That being said, don't force yourself to laugh because it will sound fake. If it's a joke indicated at you, make a subtle one back at him. It's all playful.
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Tease him. Don't make fun of him, but joking around is okay. Play around with him, and if you want to get flirty, ask him to arm wrestle you. That way, you could hold his hand and it won't seem weird or awkward.

Part 2

Part 2 of 5:

Getting Close to Him

1
Break the touch barrier but always remember to respect people's personal space. Some people don't like being touched as much as others. Making physical contact with your crush is important because it tells him you like getting close to him. Subtle is best here: you don't want to claw at him and invade his personal space. Give him hugs when you see him.^{[3]
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- Gently touch his arm or bump your knee against his. Rub shoulders with him when you ask him to explain that science problem you both had for homework. School-related work is the best way to get in touch with someone, it's a perfect excuse.
- When he tells a funny joke or teases you (in a flirty way), lightly hit him on the shoulder. Your body language is telling him that you actually enjoy his attention.
- If you're really brave, let your hand crawl up his arm onto his shoulder or play footsie with him, you can also sit on his desk before class starts. Also, blow him kisses in a playful way.
- Tickling is also a great way of flirting. Because a lot of guys don't like being tickled, however, you would be better off at the receiving end. Mention being ticklish and make your ticklish spots vulnerable. It's good to start with a spot like your feet and build up to being touched on the ribs and sides.^{[4]
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- Play with his hair. Don't over-do it, though, or it will look strange, and he will want to stay away from you.
2
Get close to his friends. Boys his age are easily influenced by their friends, so if you're friends with his friends, he'll realize that you're "cool." If you're part of the same group, the two of you can hang out more often without feeling awkward. Make sure you don't become "one of the bros" because boys don't date their best friends.
- If you feel uncomfortable around his friends, that's fine. Don't avoid them or leave when you see them coming.
- Use your siblings. If both your siblings are close in age, you automatically have something to talk about! Even better, if his siblings and your siblings are friends, suggest that the two of you take your siblings to the movies or amusement park together.
- Make sure you become his friend first. Don't lie about yourself to make him like you.

Part 3

Part 3 of 5:

Doing Your Homework

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Find out things about him. Talk to him about his interests, his family, music tastes, etc. Find out if any of his interests and your interests overlap.
- Don't forget to actually listen! Bring up details he said later on in conversation to prove that you're a good listener. (Don't overdo this or you'll seem like a stalker.)^{[5]
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- Try to find things you have in common. Do you both play guitar or love the same bands? Suggest that you jam together! Do you both play sports? Ask him to play a pickup game sometime.
2
Support him. It may take a bit of practice to know what makes him click but stick with it. Take the things that he likes to do and be sure to make an appearance.
- Does he do sports? Go to his games or tournaments and cheer him on. Ask him when it's going to be, and wish him luck if you can't come. See if he tries to spot you in the stands!
- Encourage him when he is down: All guys have some down moments, so cheer him up. Showing him that you care will make him more likely to care about you.
- Do not say another boy is "hot" or go on about someone else. He might think you like the other boy and not him. If you like multiple boys at the same time, decide on which boy which you want to pursue and only go after him. Or, have a lot of friends and don't focus on one boy! It's not like you are going to get married! It's fun to have a lot of friends and not have to worry about treating anyone one of them differently because you don't like them all the same. If your crush finds out that you like two guys at the same time, he might not feel that he was special in your mind.
3
Study together. If there's a subject you excel at and he's struggling with, offer to help him. If the opposite is true, ask him for help. This will lead to more one-on-one time and an overall better relationship with him.
- You probably already know this, but don't plan on getting a lot of work done during these study sessions. Your attention is going to be spent elsewhere, and that's okay! Just prepare for your exam a day or two ahead if you can. However, you should make sure that you DO get some work done. It may seem strange if you show up for a study session, then talk the whole time.

Part 4

Part 4 of 5:

Testing the Waters

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Test him. There are a couple of different ways for you to tell whether a boy likes you or not. Here are some tricks to find out without coming out and asking him.
- Ask him to carry your backpack to class. Tell him it's heavy and he looks strong enough to carry it easily. If he says yes, it probably means that he likes you enough to do favors for you, and likes that you think he's strong.
- If you want to tell one of your friends something when he's there, tell him to close his ears or to step back a little. This will make him want to hear what's going on even more, and you'll know that he cares.
2
Make sure the coast is clear. Be sure he does not already have a partner. Double-check to make sure that none of your friends like him. You don't want to stir up a lot of drama with your friends, because you might lose a friend and scare your crush away.
- If one of your friends does like him, you should discuss who "gets" him. If you can't come to a fair agreement (such as who liked him first, he chooses, etc.), both of you should move on.
- If you decide to let your friend go after him and they get together, don't hold it against him or her. Stay friends with them. Be happy for them and realize that there will be plenty of other boys in your future.
3
Don't give up. If you don't get the person you like, don't get sad. Be confident in who you are deep down inside and love yourself from the inside out.
- Sometimes, after a boy realizes you like them that way, they start to see you in a different light. Even if he says no, he may start to subconsciously think about the characteristics that he likes about you or why you would make a good girlfriend.
- Shy boys don't always have the courage to tell other people how they really feel, or they don't know how to. If you like a shy boy and he doesn't seem interested, it could be because he gets nervous around you and doesn't know what to do. If he is shy, keep trying to make him feel comfortable around you. Definitely hang out with him in places where he is most comfortable.

Part 5

Part 5 of 5:

Putting It All Together

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Balance out your life. It's definitely tough being a middle-schooler, but you're beginning to learn how to balance out all the work and drama in your life.^{[6]
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Research source} Don't be too over-committed or you won't have time to hang out with him and remember that there's more to life than middle school and it won't be long before you're not even sure what you ever saw in that boy!
- If he feels he can't keep up with you, he might get too nervous and think that you're out of his league. If you are very socially active, invite him to come along one day with you and some of your friends. This will give him a chance to be around you outside of school and in your natural state. Don't make him feel like you're never around. If you bring him along make sure he feels comfortable.
- Likewise, don't under-commit or you could seem like a loser. You want to surround your life with interesting activities and friends regardless of whether he likes you. If he does like you, your life just got that much better. If he doesn't like you, your life is fun and meaningful without him!
2
Be yourself. This means being comfortable in your own skin, doing what you want to do, and saying what you want to say. The people who don't love and respect you for who you are truly aren't worth fighting for.
- Don't try to be somebody you're not. He'll like you just the way you are. You may even have some things in common.
3
Show a little interest. If you think that he might like you, try to be a little more forward with him. Let him know you're interested, but not desperate. If you're not sure where he's at, be careful about following these steps; they might not turn out the way you had hoped!
- Ask him, "Hey, would you like to hang out with me sometime?". If he says yes, you've done your part. Smile and tell him you have to go. Then walk away without looking back. Now the ball is in his court.
- Suggest going to the movies or a school sports game together. Asking him to the movies would be a little more formal of a date, but you could also suggest going with friends. Asking him to a school sports game doesn't have to be a "date." It could just be you two hanging out.
- Ask him out to Sadie Hawkins dance, if these are ever held where you live. Sadie Hawkins is when the girls ask the boys out for a dance. Pile up your courage and ask him whether he'd want to be your date. If he says yes, he definitely likes you.
4
Send him a love letter. If this still isn't impressing him try some love letters. Make a cute flirty playful letter from a secret admirer and leave it in his locker. Leave a secret code word like "flower" at the end of every note saying if he finds out who you are to say this word to him. After the first week, start dropping hints that it's you by writing about things in the letter that he likes and then talking to him about them. Once he sees your common interests he is sure to give you a chance.
- Don't write anything that you would be embarrassed about if anyone else read it. Letters can get misplaced. If someone else finds your letter, you could both be in for some teasing!

Expert Q&A

Question

What can you do to build confidence?

Nicole Moore
Love & Relationship Coach
Nicole Moore is a Love and Relationship Coach and the Founder and CEO of Love Works Method, a private coaching and digital course service for women looking to find the right partner. With over a decade of experience, she specializes in body language and helping others take control of their dating life, attract a partner, and build a strong relationship. Nicole has been featured in numerous publications such as Cosmopolitan, Forbes, and USA Today. She also hosts Love Works with Nicole Moore, a podcast for modern women wanting love, dating, and relationship advice. Nicole holds a BA in Public Relations and Spanish from Syracuse University and a Certificate in Personal Coaching from New York University.

Nicole Moore

Love & Relationship Coach

Expert Answer

An easy way to feel more confident is to write a list of at least ten things that you like about yourself. Think about the positive aspects of your personality, how you treat people, and what your unique talents and skills are. The more you focus on the good things about yourself, the more confident you will feel.
Question

What is the difference between love and infatuation?

Nicole Moore
Love & Relationship Coach
Nicole Moore is a Love and Relationship Coach and the Founder and CEO of Love Works Method, a private coaching and digital course service for women looking to find the right partner. With over a decade of experience, she specializes in body language and helping others take control of their dating life, attract a partner, and build a strong relationship. Nicole has been featured in numerous publications such as Cosmopolitan, Forbes, and USA Today. She also hosts Love Works with Nicole Moore, a podcast for modern women wanting love, dating, and relationship advice. Nicole holds a BA in Public Relations and Spanish from Syracuse University and a Certificate in Personal Coaching from New York University.

Nicole Moore

Love & Relationship Coach

Expert Answer

If you have an infatuation, your feelings can change very quickly. You can feel madly in love with someone in one moment. Then the second they do not give you what you want, call you back in time, or return a text, you can start hating them. But if you love that person, there is usually a steady building of positive feelings toward that person over time.
Question

How can I know if he likes me?

Community Answer

If he stares at you, "accidentally" runs into you, and acts shy around you, he might like you. Read this article for more signs.

Warnings

Don't ask a boy out because it's "cool", or "everyone else is doing it". Do it because you truly like the person.

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Don't worry if he doesn't like you. The prettiest supermodels and the smartest secretaries of state all experienced heartbreak at one point. He is not the final judge of your character.

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Don't try to act like you both have everything in common, because it might turn him off.

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Don't always listen to the teen magazines; they offer very generalized advice, out of necessity. If it doesn't feel applicable to you, then it probably isn't.

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Don't change yourself for anyone, and never let a guy walk over you. If you didn't need him before, you don't need him now! If the boy is a troublemaker, don't act nice to impress him.

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Don't get too attached to him, or he may find you strange. Remember, there are plenty of other amazing guys out there for you!

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Don't try to make him jealous by flirting with another guy. It'll seem like you don't like him, and he probably won't like you either after he has seen you flirting with another guy.

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If it doesn't go right, know that there are more options out there; don't let him decide if you're good enough.

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If you see him hug someone else, don't get jealous -- it will just make you sad. If he asks you what's wrong, it will make it worse if you make it noticeable.

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