How to Deal With Your Crush when He Knows You Like Him

Co-authored by Cher Gopman

Last Updated: March 11, 2023 Approved

No matter how your crush found out that you like him, there are many things you can do to make interacting with him less awkward. Before you can do anything, you have to make a decision. Do you want to let things settle, or are you ready to make your move and talk to your crush directly about how you feel? Either option is okay, and it's completely up to you to decide what the next step is going to be. Once you make the decision, you'll be ready to take the next steps to resolve the tension and be normal around your crush again!

Method 1

Method 1 of 2:

Staying Calm Around Your Crush

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Don't stop talking to him about "everyday" things. When you find out that your crush knows you like him, don't let this turn your relationship into something awkward and unpleasant. Try to continue talking about the things you normally would. For example, if you have classes together at school, don't hesitate to talk to him about your assignments. Keeping a casual attitude will make your interactions much easier.
- Keep in mind that he probably doesn't know that you know about him. If you keep your cool, you can buy a little extra time for yourself to come to grips with the situation.
2
Try not to fixate on the situation all the time. When you're worried about how your crush knows you like him, constantly thinking about the situation is one of the worst things you can do. Try to keep your mind off of him by staying busy with your day-to-day activities.^{[1]
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Research source} You can even avoid him for a day or two if it gives you time to calm down, although you won't want to do this for too long if you eventually plan on making a move.
- It can help if you don't think of the situation as a "problem." It's not necessarily a bad thing that he knows you like him. After all, would you be angry or upset if you knew someone liked you? Probably not.
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Don't stress out about who he's talking to. Having a crush on someone can make even the most rational, level-headed people jealous. Try not to get too invested in who your crush is talking to.The odds are that he's not playing hard-to-get or doing it to hurt your feelings — he's just having friendly conversations with the people around him like he usually does.
- He's also probably not talking about you, so don't fall prey to paranoid thoughts like, "He's telling everyone about how I like him!" Unless he's really immature, he probably wouldn't even consider doing that.
EXPERT TIP

Cher Gopman
Dating Coach
Cher Gopman is the Founder of NYC Wingwoman LLC, a date coaching service based in New York City. 'NYC Wingwoman' offers matchmaking, wingwoman services, 1-on-1 Coaching, and intensive weekend bootcamps. Cher is a Certified Life Coach, a former psychiatric nurse, and her work has been featured on Inside Edition, Fox, ABC, VH1, and The New York Post.

Cher Gopman
Dating Coach

Instead of worrying about who he's talking to, join his group of friends. Hanging out with your crush and a group of friends is an excellent way to get to know each other better. Then you can try going for coffee or a movie alone together.
4
Remember that he, too, is probably nervous. Your crush is just a normal, everyday human being like you. Many of the same things that make you nervous probably make him nervous. Since he knows you like him, he probably gets a few butterflies in his stomach when he talks to you. Keeping this in mind can make it much easier to deal with him — how scary can talking to someone be when you know he's just as nervous as you?

Method 2

Method 2 of 2:

Making Your Move

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Decide whether you will admit your crush. Sooner or later, you need to commit to either talking to your crush about the way you feel or staying silent. Being undecided about a crush is a terrible feeling. Making a decision can be scary, but it gives you closure. You get to either take things to the next level with your crush or start moving on, but either way you don't have to worry about it anymore.
- Often, honesty is the best policy. Being open about your crush can feel like taking a huge weight off your chest — no matter what happens, you were true to your heart. It also lets you avoid nagging feelings of regret. In other words, you won't be wondering, "What would have happened if I had talked to my crush?" in a few weeks. Try explaining to him that you don't want to ruin the friendship and you wouldn't like it to be awkward. Usually he would accept that and try to keep things as normal as they were before whilst deciding his next move.
- On the other hand, if you really don't want to open up about your crush or you have good reason to think it's a bad idea, you shouldn't ever feel like you need to. An example of a situation where it would be a bad idea to act on a crush is if your crush is already with someone else.
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If you want to come clean to your crush, don't put it off. If you decide that you're going to open up to your crush, don't waste time waiting for the "perfect moment." It probably will never come. In the meantime, your crush may lose interest or even start to think that you don't like him anymore. Pick a time and place where you can be alone with your crush and stick to this. Your best chances for romance will come if you seize the opportunities you are given.^{[2]
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Research source}
- For example, if your crush is someone you know from school, you might arrange to meet this person after school in a secluded spot. It doesn't have to be 100% deserted — just reasonably private. A park bench, for instance, will usually work fine.
3
Keep things casual. Opening up to your crush doesn't have to be a huge, dramatic production. In fact, if you make a big deal about it, you may even scare your crush off. Instead, keep the conversation low-pressure and casual. This will make it much easier for him to give you an honest answer.
- You don't even have to outright say that you have a crush. Instead, you can simply invite him to spend one-on-one time together. For example, you might start the conversation by saying something like, "Hey, Spanish class has been fun. Do you want to get some lunch and go to the fair with me this weekend? I hear the enchiladas they have out there are amazing."
4
Don't be put off by his shyness. Even if you keep things very low-pressure, your crush might get a little shy.^{[3]
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Research source} Don't worry about this. Don't take silence or awkwardness as a sign that he doesn't like you. These things just show that he is having a hard time getting his words out. Give him plenty of time to take in what you're saying and encourage him to come to a conclusion when he's ready.
- He shouldn't even feel like he needs to answer you right away. Getting a date offer or having someone admit they like you can take a day or two to fully process. Consider saying something like, "Take your time — you don't have to tell me today."
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Accept his decision (even if it's "no"). Respect your crush's ability to come to his own decisions, even if you don't like the one he makes. If he says no, just casually say, "Oh, OK" and make your exit. Don't pester him with repeated questions or try to get him to change his mind. On the other hand, if he does accept your offer, congratulations!
- After a "no," you may want to limit the amount of time you spend with this person for a couple days. You don't have to outright ignore him, but if your feelings are hurt or if it's hard to stop thinking about it, give yourself some distance for a little while until your emotions die down.^{[4]
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Question

What should I do if my crush knows I like him?

Cher Gopman
Dating Coach
Cher Gopman is the Founder of NYC Wingwoman LLC, a date coaching service based in New York City. 'NYC Wingwoman' offers matchmaking, wingwoman services, 1-on-1 Coaching, and intensive weekend bootcamps. Cher is a Certified Life Coach, a former psychiatric nurse, and her work has been featured on Inside Edition, Fox, ABC, VH1, and The New York Post.

Cher Gopman

Dating Coach

Expert Answer

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Showing confidence is the most attractive trait you have. Show your crush that you're confident with who you are and then build on that. Become that fun, confident person with whom everyone wants to hang out. Your crush is more likely to be attracted to you this way.
Question

I told my best friend who my crush was, and now she's trying to make us interact. After I broke my foot, she was telling him to go keep me company, and she was "introducing" us earlier on. What do I do?

Community Answer

Chances are that your friend is just trying to make you two interact because she's rooting for you and wants you and your crush to be together. She likely doesn't mean to upset you (and may not even realize this bothers you), so if you're not comfortable with it, find a private moment and talk to her about it using "I" statements. Calmly say something to her like, "I feel [emotion] when you try to make [your crush's name] hang out with me, because [reason why it makes you feel that way]. Could you please not do that?"
Question

My crush found out that I like him, but he likes someone else. He knows that I like him but ignores it and acts like it is all normal. What do I do?

Community Answer

It sounds like he's trying to act normally and not make your friendship awkward, so it's a good idea to assess your own feelings. Are you okay with just being friends, or are your feelings too intense for that? If you don't feel like you can be friends without being sad or jealous, you might want to get some distance from him so you can stop liking him. If you feel like you can just be friends, though, then it's okay to act like you did before he found out you like him. It might feel weird or embarrassing at first, but remember, he feels awkward too, even if he's not showing it!