How to Get Someone to Stop Sexting You

Co-authored by Tasha Rube, LMSW

For those in an ongoing, intimate relationship, sex texting is a way of dirty communication (known as "sexting" for short) is one way of sending each other erotic and naughty messages and images from wherever you may be. Sometimes, however, sexting can be unwanted and unwelcome, even if it's from someone you're dating. What do you do if someone you're involved with gets a little too carried away with sexting for your taste? Or what if the person sexting you is a friend, co-worker, or complete stranger who just won't stop?

Method 1

Method 1 of 4:

Getting Help if You're a Minor

1
Do not send or receive messages. If you send or receive sexts, you can be charged with child pornography. This applies to sexts that happen on the phone or over the internet.^{[1]
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Research source} Visit the Mobile Media Guard website to find the sexting laws and regulations in your state.
- If you receive any sexts, do not share them with any of your friends. Doing this can get you in even more trouble.
- Do not be terrified and let this stop you from notifying an adult. You will not automatically go to jail or get in trouble for receiving sexts, but you should be aware that this is very serious.
2
Think before you send a message. Once you send a message or a photo, it is no longer in your control. You cannot control if the other person shares it with other people, posts it online, or saves the message forever.^{[2]
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Research source} Your text messages, social media activity, and online activity are not private.^{[3]
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Trustworthy Source
State of Massachusetts
Official website for the State of Massachusetts
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- Before you send the message, ask yourself, "Would I be fine with everyone seeing this?"
- If you do not want your parents, friends, family, future employer, or college admissions officer to see the message, you probably do not want to send it.
- Do not give into pressure to send messages to a person, even if you care about the person. Ignore their requests or just block them.
3
Immediately delete any inappropriate pictures you receive. If you receive a nude or semi-nude picture of another person, delete the message. If there happens to be a police investigation, the police can contact your cell phone provider and pull the records. The records will show that you deleted the message as soon as you received it.^{[4]
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- Deleting the picture immediately can keep you and any person you show the picture to out of legal trouble.
- If you show your teacher or parent the picture, both of you could be charged with child pornography. You can always tell an adult that you received a picture and that you deleted it.
4
Contact an adult you trust. If someone is sexting you or pressuring you to send pictures or messages, contact a parent, police officer, or another trusted adult. Even if the person is another adult or teacher, you need to report it. Get an adult involved as soon as possible.^{[5]
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- If you talk to an authority figure (e.g. teacher, counselor, police officer, etc.) the law may require that your situation is reported to the authorities.^{[6]
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- You can get some anonymous advice by contacting Lifeline Crisis Chat (an online service)^{[7]
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  Research source} or calling the Kids Help Phone at 1-800-668-6868. You can only use the Kids Help Phone if you are 20 years old or younger.^{[8]
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Method 2

Method 2 of 4:

Blocking Their Messages

1
Block the person on your Android phone. If you have the Android device, there are many different ways you can block the person. You can use the Android messaging app, use a third-party app, or contact your phone carrier.^{[9]
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- To use the Android messaging app, tap and hold the text message from the person you want to block. Your phone will then ask you if you want to "delete the message" or "add to spam." Choose "add to spam" to stop receiving messages.
- You can also download a blocking app from the Google Play Store to help you manage your texts.
- If none of those options work for you, you can call or go to your phone carrier's website to add numbers to your block list.
2
Block the person on your iPhone. Your iPhone has a built-in block feature. Go to your contacts menu and choose the person that you want to block and click "Edit." The very last option should say "Block this Caller." Simply choose that option to stop the person from texting, calling, or facetiming you.^{[10]
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- If you need to block a number that is not saved in your contacts, you can block the person by going to the text message directly. Choose "details" in the top right corner of your phone. Press the "details" button and then tap the "i" icon. Scroll down to the bottom of the page and press "Block this Caller."
- These methods will work for an iPhone, iPad, or iPhone touch.
3
Block text messages on other phones. Contact or go to your phone carrier's website to block phone numbers. If you call your carrier, let them know that you want to add some numbers to the blacklist.^{[11]
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Research source} On the carrier's website, go to your "my account or my preferences" page to find the options for blocking numbers.^{[12]
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- You may able to block a number on your phone without going through your phone carrier, but this varies by device.
4
Block the person on social media. Most social media platforms including Twitter, Facebook, and Instagram will allow you to block another user.^{[13]
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Research source} This is very helpful because a person may still try to contact you on social media even if you have blocked their phone number. Keep in mind that the person will be able to find out that you have blocked them. You can usually find the blocking information in the privacy settings or the help section.
- Blocking the person is helpful for both you and the other person. You do not have to see any of the messages, and you will not be tempted to respond to any of them.
- It is up to you if you want to let the person know that you are blocking them.

Method 3

Method 3 of 4:

Confronting the Person

1
Determine the person's intent. People sext for many different reasons. Some sexting is consensual while other times it can be used to harass, blackmail, or victimize someone. The nature of sexting can also change. For example, you may have agreed to sext with your partner, but your partner is now threatening to post some of your photos or text messages because the two of you got into a fight or ended the relationship.^{[14]
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Research source} Before you take any kind of action, consider the source.
- The way you handle a person using sexting to blackmail you will be different than telling your partner or friend that their text messages simply make you uncomfortable.
2
Consider why the sexting upsets you. It might be the source of the messages, such as from a friend or acquaintance rather than from a lover, and/or it just feels too intimate for your preference. Or, it might be the content being just too lurid for your liking. Your feelings are valid. You may enjoy or dislike receiving the messages, or you may be unsure about them.
- Do you not like receiving the messages at all? Tell the person to stop.
- Are the messages too vulgar and you would like something more discreet? Let the person know you prefer sweeter or more coded language.
- How the messages make you feel will also determine how you handle the situation.
3
Ask the text sender to stop sending you inappropriate messages or photos. The first step to getting someone to stop sexting you is to simply request they stop contacting you this way. It is quite possible that they really do not know that it is offending or upsetting you and most reasonable people will apologize and cease immediately. Obviously, determining how to deliver the request could be a little tricky, especially if you're trying to ask someone you like, such as a friend or boyfriend/girlfriend, to stop the sexting.
- Talk to someone who you can trust to help you handle the situation. This may be a friend, family member, teacher, or school counselor.
- You could also write down what you plan to say or stand in front of the mirror and practice.
4
Decide how to talk to a romantic partner. Maybe your sweetheart thinks that sexting might heat things up at home, but you're a little grossed out. Maybe your new date is using sexting as a means to seduce and perhaps even impress you. They don't know you well enough yet to realize that it's actually upsetting you (and perhaps you're too polite or confused to say otherwise).
- Tell the person, "Hey, I'm not really into sexting," or "Sexting makes me really uncomfortable. I would rather you not send me messages like that."
- For a love interest, it can help to explain that you believe that intimacy should only be a face-to-face thing and that sexting feels sneaky, unreal and smutty to you.
- You could also add that texting is no replacement for talking and that you just don't appreciate sexting as a substitute for direct talk.
5
Seek help if you are at work. A co-worker or supervisor may start sexting you. Perhaps a friendly gesture in the lunchroom or a comment you made during the last staff meeting gave one of your co-workers or a casual acquaintance the wrong idea and now they've taken the liberty of sexting you. There are multiple ways to handle this.
- You can tell the person to stop because maybe they just have the wrong idea.
- You can also go the human resources department at your job and report this because this is considered sexual harassment.
6
Handle a sext from a stranger. Have you received an inappropriate message or photo from an unknown number? Did a stranger send you something online? In this case, just block the unknown number or the sender.
- It is best not to engage or respond to a stranger. Do not ask who it is or how the person got your contact information.
- Engaging with an unknown person on any level may encourage them to continue.
- Sometimes a person you dislike has your number. Just block them because they are probably sexting you to get on your nerves and bother you.
7
Determine how to talk to a friend. Your friend might sext you as a joke or think it's not a big deal. Simply respond to your friend the next time it happens. Keep it light the first time you ask them to stop.
- You could return the text or Facebook message by saying something like “Gross, no thank you!” or “My mom (spouse, kids, etc.) reads my messages, so you probably shouldn’t send me stuff like this.”
- If that doesn't work, tell them in person or over the phone that sexting makes you uncomfortable and to stop doing it. If all else fails, you may have to block your friend until the message is clear.
8
Do not encourage the other person's sexting. Have you done anything to encourage sexting? Perhaps you sent a photo of yourself in a scantily clad pose, or perhaps you said something sexy that seemed to open the doors to more sexting. If any of these things have occurred from your end, you'll need to explain that you didn't mean for it to become a regular occurrence or to become more serious than you originally intended. In the future, always think twice before sending sexy photos of yourself or sending provocative words.
- Even if you have sexted with the person in the past, you always have the right to change your mind and stop sexting. Do not feel guilty if you no longer want to participate.
- Don’t play along if you don't want to communicate with the person in this manner. Being forthright about your preferences at the outset of the start of sexting is best.

Method 4

Method 4 of 4:

Contacting an Authority Figure

1
Talk to a parent or trusted adult. If you are unable to handle the situation on your own and do not know where to start, a parent or a trusted adult is always a good resource. Your parent is not required to report any photos or messages to law enforcement and can help you decide what to do next.^{[15]
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- Talking to your parents can be difficult and embarrassing, but remember that they love you and want the best for you.
- Be honest and do not hide any of the details.
2
Get law enforcement involved. If the behavior does not stop or the other person pursues you other ways (such as stalking, threatening or harassing), contact your local law enforcement. Some people who have been asked to stop sexting will stop. However, if the other person continues to pursue you, you may need to get the authorities involved.
- Always tell the truth when you talk to law enforcement. They need to know about any messages you responded to or any explicit photos that you may have sent.
3
Talk to a victim advocate. If you feel like you are being victimized by the person sexting you, work with an advocate to help you navigate the process. An advocate can help you gather evidence, put together a safety plan, and get civil protection. There are many different ways to find a victim advocate in your area:^{[16]
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- Call or visit the website of the National Organization for Victim Assistance. The phone number is 1-800-879-6682.^{[17]
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