How to Text Message Someone You Like

Co-authored by John Keegan and Glenn Carreau

Wondering how to impress your crush over text without sounding awkward? You’ve come to the right place! It can be nerve-wracking to talk to a crush, but when you text, you can take the time to craft a perfect message before you hit “send.” Read on for a comprehensive guide to texting someone you like, from sending that first text to sealing the deal with a date!

1

Reach out and text first.

Initiating a text conversation shows them you're interested. Rather than waiting a few days to send the first text, why not send it the day you get your crush’s number? There’s nothing wrong with seeming eager—it shows your crush that you really do like them. If you wait, they might think you’re not that interested.
- Even if you don’t have time to text the same day, be sure you text them within the first 2 or 3 days. Show your crush that they’re a priority for you.
- If you already have your crush’s number, start initiating more conversations. Check in daily to show them how much you care. Once they pick up on the pattern, they’ll also start more exchanges with you!

2

Open the conversation with a personal touch.

Reference something you talked about before to get them interested. Generic first texts aren’t as engaging as creative messages that remind your crush of an old conversation or something familiar. Try referencing the day you met or something you talked about the last time you saw them! Alternatively, you could send them a text when something reminds you of them.^{[1]
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- For instance, you could say, "Hey Jesse! I saw a shirt that would be perfect for your cowboy Halloween costume. Want to see a picture?"
- Let them know who you are in the first text. “Hey! This is Chris, the guy from the coffee shop earlier. It was great to meet you!"
- Avoid short and vague texts like “Hi!” or “What’s up?” Those could be meant for anyone! You want to show this person that you put thought into your first text.

3

Send a funny, playful message.

Entertain your crush with random, wacky thoughts that’ll make them laugh. Don’t be afraid to show your crush how silly you can be! Playfulness keeps the exchange feeling light and positive. The next time you have a totally off-the-wall thought, shoot it to your crush as a text; your personalities might be a good match if they go along with it.
- "I love cheese so much I was thinking of making my own! Do you think it’s hard to do?"
- "Who do you think would win in a fight, a llama or a raccoon?"

4

Give your crush compliments.

Flattery will make them feel great, and it’ll make you seem confident. Text a heartfelt compliment when you’re ready to be a little bold and more affectionate with your crush. Be as specific as you can so they know you mean it, and mention things that you genuinely admire about them to get their attention.
- "You looked super cute when I saw you at lunch today! That shirt really brought out your eyes."
- “Congrats on that perfect test score! You earned it, and you’re totally the smartest person I know. 😊”

5

Get flirty with your crush.

Hint to your crush that you like them and think about them all the time. When you’re crushing on someone, a little flirtation can set the tone for future text exchanges—and get them thinking about you nonstop in return! Send a few cute, flirty texts without being dirty or overly suggestive. In the beginning, you’re just signaling your interest—and testing your crush’s interest in return.^{[2]
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- “Miss me yet? ❤️”
- “I just heard a song on the radio that made me think of you. 😘”
- “Important question: why are you so cute? 😍”

6

Ask open-ended questions.

Open-ended questions spark conversation between you and your crush. Asking a simple yes-or-no question will probably get a one-word response, so ask an open-ended question that’ll prompt your crush to explain their answer. They’ll be engaged in the conversation from the beginning, and you can learn a little more about them from their responses!^{[3]
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- "What did you think of Mr. Miller’s science test yesterday? How do you think you did on that essay question?"
- "I’m bored. What do you like to do for fun?" You might even find that you and your crush have a few hobbies in common!

7

Chat about your mutual interests.

Talking about the things you have in common builds up your bond. Check out your crush’s social media or dating app profile to see what you have in common. Then, text them and casually bring up one of your mutual interests or experiences so you can start a conversation about it. Remember to show genuine interest in their responses!^{[4]
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- For example, if you see a post about a band you both like, you could say, “I just listened to the new Bastille song and loved it. Have you heard it yet?”
- “I’m dying to find an awesome new Sci-Fi book to read. You like that genre, right? Any recommendations?”
- Be sure to appreciate your crush’s interests that you might not share, too. Ask them lots of questions, so they know you’re listening.

8

Text them photos of your day.

Interesting photos can help get your crush to respond to you. You don’t have to send a picture of you posing suggestively to be flirtatious. Instead, try sending pictures of yourself going about your day or the cool places and things you see. That’ll show your crush that you’re well-rounded and happy, making you seem more attractive.^{[5]
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- For example, you could send a picture of yourself hanging out with friends and write, “It’s arcade day! 😆🎮 What are you up to?”
- Not every picture has to be a selfie. You could send a photo of your dog and write, “Milo says hi! He’d love to meet you sometime! 😉”

9

Include emojis in your texts.

Emojis are a playful way to show your crush how you feel. If you want your crush to know you’re into them, try sending flirtatious emojis, like a wink (😉) or heart (❤️). Other cute emojis include a heart-eyes (😍), fire (🔥) to tell your crush that they’re hot, and the cry-laughing emoji (😂) if your crush says something funny. Try not to overdo it; 1 or 2 emojis per message is plenty.^{[6]
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- “Hey you! Just wanted to check in and see how your day is going. 😍 Doing anything fun?”
- “Did you get a haircut? You look AMAZING today! ❤️🔥”
- Some emojis can come across as suggestive, like a smiley with its tongue sticking out (😛). Stick to innocent emojis until you know your crush is into you.

10

Make specific plans to hang out.

When you like someone, meeting up face-to-face is important! Flirting through text is fun, but if you like this person, try working up to an in-person meeting. Come up with a specific outing, an event you can meet at, or an activity you can do together. Then, ask your crush out! See if they’re interested in spending time with you face-to-face.^{[7]
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- "I'm going to see a baseball game this Friday! Wanna go with me?"
- “I remember you saying you like bowling. Want to hit up the bowling alley with me tomorrow night?”
- Keep it casual for now—you don’t even have to use the word “date.” Ask them to hang out and make it clear that it’ll be just you there, so they know it’s romantic.

11

Be confident.

Focus on having fun with your crush instead of overthinking. When you like someone, it’s tempting to read into every text for signs of how they feel. However, the best way to get your crush to like you is to relax, spend lots of time talking to them, and enjoy every conversation. Be confident in yourself and let the relationship develop naturally!
- For instance, just because your crush sends you short texts doesn’t necessarily mean that they don’t like you—they might just be busy.

12

Keep your texts lighthearted.

Show your crush that you’re a positive person who’s fun to be around. When you’re first texting someone you like, don’t weigh them down with all the problems in your life. Instead, keep your texts positive! send your crush plenty of jokes, cute stories about your day, and funny memes you come across. Positivity makes you easier to talk to.^{[8]
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- Avoid too much sarcasm since it might not come across the way you mean it to in a text.
- You can gradually open up to your crush over time, especially if you notice them doing the same thing with you.

13

Leave a little time between replies.

Waiting to respond makes you seem more appealing to your crush. It shows them that you have other things going on in your life, which will make them curious to know more about you. After your crush texts you, wait at least 15 minutes before replying, or at most an hour or 2. Responding to texts right away every time can come off as desperate.^{[9]
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- However, don’t wait more than a couple of hours to respond unless you’re genuinely busy. Taking too long might make your crush think you’re not interested.
- As you plan out your timing, remember not to text your crush too late at night or too early. You might end up disturbing them, and it’s important to be respectful of their time!

14

Match your crush’s texting style.

It’s easier to meet their texting expectations when you copy their style. Try not to text your crush way more or less than they text you or send texts that are significantly longer or shorter than theirs. Instead, pay attention to the length and frequency of their texts and do your best to match them. Match other elements, too—like the number of emojis and text abbreviations they use.^{[10]
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- For example, if your crush is sending you short 1 or 2-sentence texts, sending several giant blocks of text might frustrate them a little. Reply with texts that are roughly the same length instead.
- Use proper grammar until you better understand your crush’s style and text lingo. A few abbreviations like “OMG” are fine, but proper grammar and spelling make you seem more thoughtful and clever.

15

End the conversation first.

Give your crush a chance to miss you by ending the chat a little early. If your crush always has to say goodbye first, they might think you like them more than they like you. Instead, be the one to sign off and end the conversation earlier than your crush expects, so you have a conversation to continue later!^{[11]
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- “I’ve actually gotta run! But I can’t wait to hear more about your project later. 😊 Talk tomorrow morning?”
- Leave your crush hanging by saying, "Oh, remind me tomorrow to tell you about my job interview!"
- If you’re ending the conversation because you have somewhere to go, make sure to mention that so they know you have a busy, well-rounded life.

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How can I text my crush without being awkward?

John Keegan
Dating Coach
John Keegan is a dating coach and motivational speaker based in New York City. He runs The Awakened Lifestyle, where he uses his expertise in dating, attraction, and social dynamics to help people find love. He teaches and holds dating workshops internationally, from Los Angeles to London and from Rio de Janeiro to Prague. His work has been featured in the New York Times, Humans of New York, and Men's Health.

John Keegan

Dating Coach

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Avoid starting a text with the full force of your feelings. Don't say things like, "We haven't talked in months, and I really miss you." Instead, keep your opening light and soft by starting with something that reminded you of them, or a conversation you had a while ago. Going too strong with your emotions can be too much for some people.
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What’s something I could text a guy I like to make him smile?

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Think about his personality and his sense of humor. You could try sending him a compliment (like “I thought you killed it with that presentation yesterday!”) or something funny, like a silly meme or video. You could even send it with a note saying something like, “Hey, I saw this and thought of you!”
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What are some good excuses for texting someone?

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If you’re looking for an excuse beyond just checking in to see how they’re doing, you could try asking a question. For example, if you’re in a class together, you could say, “Have you heard when we might be getting those quizzes back from last week?” You could also text them about a topic you know they’re interested in. For example, “Hey, check it out, the new Star Wars trailer just dropped! :)”