How to Be Irresistible

Last Updated: June 8, 2021 References

Having another person like and want your company can make life sweeter. No matter if you are romantically attracted to the person or just want to really enjoy his or her company, making yourself irresistible can be an important part of establishing a beautiful friendship and relationship. By taking care of your physical appearance and cultivating a positive and vivacious personality, you can make yourself irresistible to anyone.

Part 1

Part 1 of 2:

Maintaining Your Appearance

1
Recognize the power of visual stimulation. Studies have shown a person’s appearance can be an important element in any type of attraction, especially since it is the first thing we notice.^{[1]
X
Trustworthy Source
PubMed Central
Journal archive from the U.S. National Institutes of Health
Go to source} Making sure that the picture you present is clean, pulled together and highlights your assets can help initially draw others to you.^{[2]
X
Trustworthy Source
PubMed Central
Journal archive from the U.S. National Institutes of Health
Go to source}
- Taking care of one’s appearance can be a powerful form of attraction for many.
2
Shower regularly. Keeping your body clean can do wonders for keeping your appearance neat. Taking a shower most days of the week can ward off body odor and make your appearance fresh and appealing.</ref>
- You don’t have to shower every day necessarily, but keeping dirt, oil, and sweat at bay can keep you smelling fresh.
- Shower in warm water with a lightly scented soap or shower gel. Choose a scent that you like, but make sure it’s not too heavy so that others aren’t overwhelmed by the scent.
- After you shower, moisturize your facial and body skin with a product formulated for your skin type. Moisturizer helps promote healthy, glowing skin, which studies have shown can be a powerful form of attraction to others.^{[3]
  X
  Research source}
- Make sure to put on antiperspirant and/ or deodorant to eliminate or keep body odor at bay. Body odor can quickly turn off someone to whom you want to appear irresistible.
- If you participate in sports or other activities that cause you to sweat, consider showering after each time to ward off body odor that can develop from sweat.
Advertisement
3
Brush and floss your teeth. Oral hygiene is important to your overall health, but can also be important if you are talking to others frequently. Brushing and flossing regularly can not only maintain the health of your pearly whites, but also keep bad breath at bay, which could be a turn off for someone you are trying to attract.
- Brush and floss your teeth at least twice a day, especially when you get up and before bed.
- Brush and floss after meals if you can. Having food stuck in your teeth can be unattractive, but also promotes the growth of bacteria, which can cause bad breath that may make others not want to talk to you. If you don’t have a toothbrush, chew a piece of gum, which can help remove debris and bacteria.^{[4]
  X
  Trustworthy Source
  American Dental Association
  World's largest dental professional organization and advocate for proper oral health
  Go to source}
- Remember that coffee, tea, wine, and tobacco can stain your teeth, which may detract from your irresistibility. If you consume any of these products, brush your teeth or chew gum afterward to minimize staining.
4
Stay at a healthy weight. Not only is maintaining a healthy weight important to your overall well-being, but it may help enhance your irresistibility. You will project an image of someone who takes care of her health, and it may also make you feel more confident, which is also irresistible. In addition, both diet and exercise can give you glowing skin, which also enhances your attractiveness.
- Keeping your weight within a healthy range can be easy. Eating healthy, balanced, and regular meals promotes your overall health.
- You should consume around 1,800-2,200 calories daily, depending on how active you are. Get calories from nutrient-dense whole foods including whole grains, fruits and vegetables, dairy, and lean proteins, all of which can help maintain weight and help you glow from the inside out.^{[5]
  X
  Trustworthy Source
  EatRight.org
  Organization associated with the Academy of Nutrition and Dietetics providing advice about food, health, and fitness
  Go to source}
- Regular exercise will also help maintain your weight, promote your overall health, and help you glow from the inside out because it promotes blood flow. In addition, the object of your affection may also enjoy sports!
5
Wear flattering fashions. Clothing can enhance anyone’s appearance and also be a point of departure for conversations. Wearing clothing and fashions that flatter your figure and personality can make you seem more irresistible to others.
- You don’t have to buy expensive items to flatter your appearance. Purchase a few key well-made pieces and you can mix and match them.
- Clothing is often mass-produced to fit a few different body types. Consider getting items tailored to fit your body, which can accentuate or highlight your features while concealing parts you may not like.
- Accessories can also help pull together an outfit. A striking watch or belt are good options.
- Avoid overdoing it with your appearance. Look like an slightly enhanced version yourself, not a superficial or idealized caricature of how you think you should look. For example, keep makeup and hair simple and neat.
- Wear a nice, light perfume or cologne. Scent is closely tied to memory and if a person smells it or something similar, it may remind him of you and want to be around you more often.

Part 2

Part 2 of 2:

Cultivating an Irresistible Relationship with Others

1
Have confidence in yourself. Most people enjoy being around others who are confident and comfortable in their own skin. Having confidence in yourself can make you all the more irresistible to any person you may want to attract.
- Avoid being arrogant or pretentious. This trait can detract from your irresistibility. Remain yourself: calm, cool, and collected.
- For example, if you’re an excellent photographer, you can say something like “I’m a really avid amateur photographer and have actually had some of my work displayed in exhibitions. Maybe I could show you some of my photographs sometime. I’d love to hear your opinion.” This not only projects your confidence, but also draws the other person into your conversation.
2
Look the person in the eye.^{[6]
X
Expert Source

Connell Barrett
Dating Coach
Expert Interview. 24 September 2019.} Catching someone’s gaze and holding it is flirtatious and can help the person remember. Looking the person in the eye when you speak or even if you are not together in that moment can make you appear irresistible and draw her closer to you.
- Avoid staring at the person if you are not together. Holding your gazes for a couple of seconds is sufficient.
- When you are speaking with the object of your affection—be it romantic or just someone you want to know better—look them in the eye as long as you are together. This signals the person that you are completely engaged and interested in her and what she has to say.
3
Listen intently during conversations. It’s important to listen closely to what others are saying. This not only helps show your interest, but also gives you the opportunity to later reference comments, which further enforces your interest. It may help you seem more irresistible to the other person.
- Meaningful conversations about mutual interests can help forge an important bond that may make you irresistible to the other person.
- Having common interests is a powerful way to cultivate attraction. Let the other person in on your hobbies and interests, too. This demonstrates your dynamism, which can help attract others to you.
4
Demonstrate your independence.^{[7]
X
Expert Source

Connell Barrett
Dating Coach
Expert Interview. 24 September 2019.} Not being independent or able to hold your own can make you less attractive to others. Demonstrating that you have opinions and don’t rely on others for your wellbeing can make you seem attractive and irresistible to almost anyone and help keep the interest going.
- Don’t dumb down yourself for anyone. Using your brain shows that you are independent and able to form opinions without being swayed by others. For example, if you hold a certain political belief, stick to your opinion and back it up with facts and details instead of quietly giving in to the other person.
- Staying independent and not making yourself too available can establish intrigue and make you seem all the more irresistible. For example, don’t accept every offer to get together. Say you have something else going on at the suggested time and ask to reschedule. This makes you appear popular and may make another person want to be around you even more.
5
Act in a positive and fun manner.^{[8]
X
Expert Source

Connell Barrett
Dating Coach
Expert Interview. 24 September 2019.} Everyone enjoys being around someone who is positive and fun. Keeping things light and easygoing can help draw others to you and seem irresistible and effervescent.
- Although every person has an occasional bad day, try to not focus on this as much as possible. This can help reinforce your irresistibility and help maintain interest.
6
Project positive body language. Confident and friendly movements can attract people to you and make them want to stay in your general vicinity. Using positive body language can help to reinforce your irresistibility and make you feel good, too.
- Having good posture by standing and sitting tall projects confidence, as does a genuine smile.
- Looking relaxed and assured is attractive to others and can spur “copycat emotions” that further attract the person to you.
- Other positive actions that will make others feel that they can’t resist you are: steady eye contact, turning up your palms up, nodding, and pointing your feet towards the person with whom you are speaking.
7
Cultivate your conversation skills.^{[9]
X
Expert Source

Connell Barrett
Dating Coach
Expert Interview. 24 September 2019.} Talking and engaging with others verbally is an important part of any relationship. By working on your conversation skills, you may deepen and strengthen your relationship.^{[10]
X
Research source} Different ways you can cultivate your conversation skills include:
- Realizing your personal strengths and what you have to offer. You can draw upon these if you feel uncomfortable in social settings.
- Asking a trusted friend about what she thinks you can improve upon in conversation as well as what you do well.
- Incorporating anecdotes about new and interesting experiences.
- Staying positive and upbeat with your commentary.
- Keeping your comments brief and to the point. Remember that no one enjoys listening to someone gloat about his accomplishments.^{[11]
  X
  Research source}
8
Develop your humorous side. Humor is something that both men and women find sexy and irresistible. By incorporating jokes or anecdotes into your conversations that are funny, you can attract any person to yourself.^{[12]
X
Research source}
- Don't force humor, which usually falls flat. Instead, try to see the humor in simple matters, and use those situations as an entry point for a joke or anecdote.^{[13]
  X
  Research source}
- Be as natural as possible. Having the confidence to let your humor shine through can help you be funny.
- You can also cultivate your humorous side by:
- Use your body language to express humor.^{[14]
  X
  Expert Source
  
  Connell Barrett
  Dating Coach
  Expert Interview. 24 September 2019.} Facial expressions, body positioning and movements, and tone of voice can all impact how funny you seem.^{[15]
  X
  Research source}
- Practicing telling jokes or humorous anecdotes. You can easily transform everyday situations into funny stories or jokes. Practice often so that your humor becomes more refined and second nature.
- Situational humor may elicit more laughs than drawing upon canned jokes from other people.
- Your humor will likely fall flat at some point. When this happens, use the situation to make another joke that can get the conversation started again.

Expert Q&A

Question

How can I make myself seem more attractive?

Connell Barrett
Dating Coach
Connell Barrett is a Relationship Expert and the Founder and Executive Coach of Dating Transformation in New York City. Connell has over five years of experience as an international coach who helps men connect with women by unlocking their best, true, most confident selves. He is the author of the Amazon bestseller “Dating Sucks but You Don’t,” and has appeared on Good Morning America, the "Today" show, Access Hollywood, and in Best Life, Cosmopolitan, and The Oprah Magazine. In 2019 he was named Datezie.com's “New York City’s Best Male Dating Coach."

Connell Barrett

Dating Coach

Expert Answer

Just practice holding casual and playful conversations with other people. Also, be sure to pay attention to your body language so you're mirroring the person you're talking with to show your interest.