How to Carry on a Romantic Conversation

Co-authored by Imad Jbara

Last Updated: September 5, 2022 References Approved

For some people, the idea of a romantic conversation may be a little frightening, but it shouldn't be. Romantic conversation should be comfortable and enjoyable, even a little naughty, and there are several ways to improve your romantic conversation skills. Having a romantic conversation with your partner can increase your bond and reignite the spark that attracted you to each other in the first place.

Method 1

Method 1 of 3:

Speaking and Responding

1
Ask open-ended questions. Just like any other type of conversation, the best way to ensure that the conversation continues to flow is to ask open-ended questions. This means asking questions that cannot be answered with a simple “yes” or “no” so that your partner is encouraged to elaborate. This will help keep the conversation going. There are even certain questions you can ask that may help to bring you and your partner closer together.^{[1]
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Research source} Some good questions to ask include:
- “What would your perfect day be like?”
- “What are three things that you think we have in common?”
- “Do you have a dream that you have not yet had a chance to do anything about? If so, what is it?"
2
Confess something cute to your partner. Once you have initiated the conversation with some romantic questions, another way to encourage a romantic conversation is to increase the intimacy between the two of you. A great way to do this is to cutely confess something to your partner that really elaborates on your feelings for them. This is a subtle way to say something romantic without being overwhelming. Just be sure the thing you “confess” is light and romantic in nature. For example:
- “I have to admit something. I've wanted to hold your hand like this since the moment we met.”
- “I have always wanted to know where you got that scar on your knee from.”
- “I really want to tell you that I love the perfume you are wearing.”
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3
Keep the conversation positive. As you carry on the conversation, be sure to keep the conversation topics light and positive. Talking about things like money, work, or any problems in your relationship will ruin the romantic mood. Instead, stick to positive subjects like your future, what you love about your partner, and intimate aspects of your relationship.^{[2]
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- Tell your partner about your goals and dreams and ask him or her to share these as well.
- Focus on showing your positive personality traits in the conversation as well. Are you outgoing? Accepting? Honest? Hard working? Whatever your positive personality traits are, try to find a few opportunities to showcase them.
4
Use “I” statements when you are talking. Using “I" statements has been shown to help keep a conversation going if it starts to wane. Try telling your partner something surprising about yourself to keep things interesting.^{[3]
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- For example, if the conversation starts to wane, you might say something like, “I have always wanted to go to Antarctica.”
5
Tell stories. Great stories can help to connect you with another person, so choose a few of your best ones to share with your partner. Good stories to tell are ones that reveal something about you, such as how you ended up moving to the city you live in now, how you decided on your college major, or how you met your best friend.^{[4]
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6
Interrupt your partner to agree or endorse what he or she says. Although you should not interrupt your partner most of the time. It is okay to briefly interrupt your partner to express agreement acceptance of something he or she has just said.^{[5]
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- For example, if your partner mentions a band he likes, then it is okay to interrupts with something like, “Oh yeah! I love that band too.” Then, be quiet again and allow your partner to finish what he or she was saying.
7
Show your appreciation. Showing appreciation for your partner's experiences and opinions can also be a great way to enhance the romance of a conversation. Make sure that you acknowledge your partner's interests and accomplishments during your conversation.^{[6]
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- For example, if your partner mentions something that he or she likes to do or mentions a recent accomplishment, then you can say something like, “That's awesome!” or “I think that is so cool!”
8
Be sympathetic. Sometimes your partner might mention something bad that happened or express something that he or she has struggled with in the past. When this happens, make sure that you acknowledge your partner's statements with sympathy.^{[7]
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- For example, if your partner shares a challenge or a struggle with you, then you might say something like, “That seems like it must be difficult,” or “It's terrible that you had to deal with that.”

Method 2

Method 2 of 3:

Using Body Language

1
Show your confidence. Engaging in a romantic conversation in person requires confidence in yourself and confidence in your relationship. You want to let your partner know how you feel, and you want to give your partner a chance to do the same. As you start the romantic conversation, it is important to be open and secure. If you start the conversation but restrain yourself too much, your partner will pick up on your discomfort and may be put off.^{[8]
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- Avoid aggressive body language like crossed arms or lots of hand gestures.
- Try to keep your body language loose and welcoming by keeping your arms at your sides and facing your partner.
- Smile at your partner to show that you are having a good time.
2
Give your partner 100% of your attention. While being romantic with your partner, you want to be sure that your body language and your words are conveying the message. Even if you say the most romantic thing in the world, your partner will not feel romanced if you're saying it while looking at the menu.^{[9]
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- Make sure you are giving your partner all of your attention during the conversation. Don't look around the room or fidget, as this comes across as uncomfortable or uninterested.
3
Make eye contact. Making eye contact with your partner is one of the best ways to enhance your intimacy and connect with each other without saying a word. Make sure that you maintain eye contact whenever your partner is speaking to you as well as while you are speaking to him or her.^{[10]
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4
Hold hands or touch your partner now and then. Touch is an important factor in enhancing romance between two people as well. Make sure that you and your partner engage in some physical contact during your conversation.^{[11]
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- For example, you can hold your partner's hand or just lightly stroke the back of your partner's arm while he or she is talking.

Method 3

Method 3 of 3:

Setting a Romantic Tone

1
Make sure that you look your best. Self-care has been found to be a major factor in whether or not people are perceived as attractive.^{[12]
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Research source} That means that if you are well-groomed, then your partner is more likely to be attracted to you. Before you have your romantic conversation, take some time to do the following:^{[13]
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- get a workout in
- eat a healthy meal
- shower
- style your hair
- brush your teeth
- put on some nice clothes
2
Light candles or use some flameless candles. Dim lighting is a great way to set a romantic mood for a conversation.^{[14]
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Research source} If you are going out, then choose a restaurant with dim lighting and candles. If you are staying in, then light a couple of candles or turn on some flameless candles to help set a romantic tone.
3
Play some soft music. Music can be a great way to set a romantic tone, as long as it does not distract from the conversation.^{[15]
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Research source} Opt for something without lyrics and keep the volume down low. Some good options include:
- classical music
- smooth jazz
- new age music
- nature sounds
4
Offer your partner some chocolate. Chocolate has long been known as a romantic food and it can really enhance your feelings of romance. Eating chocolate, especially dark chocolate, can lead to feelings of euphoria.^{[16]
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Research source} Try getting a small box of some high-quality chocolates and keep them nearby during your conversation.

Sample Conversation Starters

Romantic In Person Conversation Starters

Romantic Texting Conversation Starters

Expert Q&A
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Question

How do I keep a conversation going with my boyfriend?

Imad Jbara
Dating Coach
Imad Jbara is a Dating Coach for NYC Wingwoman LLC, a relationship coaching service based in New York City. 'NYC Wingwoman' offers matchmaking, wingwoman services, 1-on-1 Coaching, and intensive weekend bootcamps. Imad services 100+ clients, men and women, to improve their dating lives through authentic communication skills. He has a BA in Psychology from the University of Massachusetts Dartmouth.

Imad Jbara

Dating Coach

Expert Answer

Support wikiHow by unlocking this expert answer.

Reciprocate if the other person is flirting with you. Sometimes people miss opportunities because they don't show the other person they're interested. If someone gives you a little touch on the elbow or a flirtatious glance, they're trying to get you to react. That reaction is what shows them you're interested too, and that's how you start to build passion.
Question

How do I talk to my crush without being awkward?

Imad Jbara
Dating Coach
Imad Jbara is a Dating Coach for NYC Wingwoman LLC, a relationship coaching service based in New York City. 'NYC Wingwoman' offers matchmaking, wingwoman services, 1-on-1 Coaching, and intensive weekend bootcamps. Imad services 100+ clients, men and women, to improve their dating lives through authentic communication skills. He has a BA in Psychology from the University of Massachusetts Dartmouth.

Imad Jbara

Dating Coach

Expert Answer

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Show your real personality. Don't be afraid to be yourself when you're flirting. Say the things you would normally say when you're around your friends or people you're comfortable with.
Question

How do I have a romantic conversation?

Imad Jbara
Dating Coach
Imad Jbara is a Dating Coach for NYC Wingwoman LLC, a relationship coaching service based in New York City. 'NYC Wingwoman' offers matchmaking, wingwoman services, 1-on-1 Coaching, and intensive weekend bootcamps. Imad services 100+ clients, men and women, to improve their dating lives through authentic communication skills. He has a BA in Psychology from the University of Massachusetts Dartmouth.

Imad Jbara

Dating Coach

Expert Answer

Support wikiHow by unlocking this expert answer.

Make your intentions clear right away so they know you're flirting. To do that, you might include a little physical contact or teasing. For instance, if someone says something to you, you might say, "Are you flirting with me??" or if someone touches you, you might say, "Hey, hands off the merchandise, I'm not that easy!" That way, it's fun, but it's still flirting.

Warnings

Don't overtly talk about sex. Hint around it if your partner initiates the topic, but don't just come right out and talk about it.

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