How to Approach a Guy at School

Co-authored by Judith Gottesman, MSW and Hannah Madden

Last Updated: May 26, 2022 References

If there’s a guy at school you just can’t stop thinking about, you might have a little crush. Daydreaming about him is one thing, but actually approaching him can seem kind of daunting (especially if you don’t know him that well). Fortunately, there are a few ways you can approach him without feeling too awkward or shy. Keep reading to learn how you can start talking to the guy you like and get to know him a little bit better.

1

Find out what he likes.

If you don’t know him well, start out by getting some insider knowledge. You can ask your friends (or even his friends) which sports he does, if he’s in the school play, what his favorite class is, or which TV shows he likes to watch. You don’t have to get his whole life story, but try to prepare yourself with one or two things you know about him.^{[1]
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- You can also get this info if you have classes with him or see him around school. For instance, if he’s wearing sneakers and basketball shorts, you can probably guess that he plays basketball.

2

Smile and make eye contact with him.

Signal to him that you want to come over and talk. If you see him in the halls or across the classroom, make eye contact with him.^{[2]
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Expert Source

Judith Gottesman, MSW
Matchmaker & Dating Coach
Expert Interview. 19 October 2021.} When he notices you, give him a quick smile, and then look away.^{[3]
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Expert Source

Judith Gottesman, MSW
Matchmaker & Dating Coach
Expert Interview. 19 October 2021.}
- If he’s feeling confident, he might even take that as a signal to come over and talk to you!

3

Be confident.

You might be a little nervous, but that’s okay! If you feel shy, try to fake it until you make it. Push your shoulders back, lift your chin up, and keep a smile on your face. The more confident you look, the better chance you have of striking up a conversation with a cute guy.^{[5]
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- If you’re feeling a little awkward, try waiting until the guy is alone. It’s much easier to approach someone one-on-one than in front of a group of people.

4

Introduce yourself.

It’s a good starting point if you two don’t know each other. If you’ve only ever seen him around school, just start by heading over and saying hello. Then, tell him your name to get a conversation started.^{[6]
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- Say something like, “Hey, my name’s Alyssa. What’s yours?”
- If you two already know each other but you haven’t talked in a while, you could say something like, “Hey, I’m Brad. Remember me? We went to kindergarten together.”

5

Ask him about a common interest.

Maybe you two have classes or friends that overlap. Or, maybe you both play sports after school. Talking about something you’re both interested in will get a good conversation flowing, and it’s an easy way to approach someone. Try something like:^{[7]
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- “That math test last week was brutal. How’d you do?”
- “Do you play soccer too? I’ve seen you out in the field a few times.”
- “Have you started the science homework yet?”

6

Give him a compliment.

Everyone likes hearing nice things about themselves! As you two chat, work in a few compliments to let him know that you might be interested in him. You could talk about how good he looks today, how you like his outfit, or even how smart he is. Say something like:^{[8]
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- “I really like that sweater on you. Is it vintage?”
- “You killed that debate in class yesterday. It’s like you’ve been practicing!”
- “I wish I could pull off curly hair that well. It looks amazing.”

7

See if he wants to hang out later.

It’s a way to ask him out that’s both cool and casual. You can ask him if he has plans later today, or you can set a time for later that week. You don’t have to call it a date if you don’t want to. Try something like:^{[9]
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- “I was gonna watch the football game after school today. Wanna come?”
- “Are you doing anything next week? It would be fun to check out the new bowling alley.”

8

Give him your number.

If you don’t want to seem too intense, this is a good option. Tell him that you have to go to class but you want to continue your conversation. He’ll be able to text you and you two can talk about hanging out later.^{[10]
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- You could say something like, “I have to run to class, but I want to finish our conversation. Could I give you my number?”
- Or, “Why don’t I give you my number? That way you can text me later.”

9

Ask him to a school dance.

You can do this to make it known that you like him. If there’s a dance coming up, ask the guy if he has a date or not. If he doesn’t, see if he wants to go with you! Say something like:^{[11]
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- “Homecoming’s coming up soon. Are you going with anyone?”
- “I was planning on going to the winter dance, but I don’t have a date. Do you?”

10

Follow him on social media if you’re nervous.

It can be nerve wracking to approach a guy face to face. If you’re feeling shy or you just can’t work up the nerve to talk to him, try following him on Instagram, Twitter, or Facebook. You can send him a DM to get a convo going and then chat with him in person when you know him better.^{[12]
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- Your DM could say something like, “Hey, don’t we have English class together?” or, “You’re on the football team, right? Good luck tonight!”