How to Act Around Your Boyfriend in High School (14 Sweet Ways to Show Him You Care)

Co-authored by Joshua Pompey and Hannah Madden

Last Updated: December 1, 2022 References

If you’ve been crushing on a guy for a while, you’re probably super stoked to finally land him as your boyfriend. But if you're a teen who's never been in a relationship before, knowing how to act or what to say can feel a little intimidating. Fortunately, there are a few things you can keep in mind to help you through the initial stages. Keep reading to learn how you can develop your relationship and get to know your new boo even better.

1

Ask him about his day.

Show an interest in what his life is like. If you’re meeting up after school, ask him how math class was or how his test went. It’s an easy conversation starter if you run out of things to say, and he’ll probably ask you about your day, too.^{[1]
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- Don’t worry if you have a bit of trouble talking to your boyfriend at first. New relationships can be a little awkward, but you’ll both get better at it with time!
- Say something like, “So, how’d that math test go? I heard it was gonna be tough.”

2

Compliment him.

Everyone likes to hear something nice about themselves. Tell him he looks good in that shirt or let him know that you noticed the free throw he made in the basketball game last night. He’ll be super grateful to have you and know that you’re paying attention to the little things.^{[2]
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- For instance, you might say, “Wow, is that a new shirt? I like it, it really brings out your eyes.”
- Or, “You scored so many points last night, I could hardly keep up!”

3

Flirt with him, but keep it subtle.

You don’t have to give up flirting once he’s your boyfriend. You can flirt with him by holding his hand, smiling and saying hi in the halls, or even swiping on some lip balm to draw attention to your lips. It will keep him interested in you and leave him wanting more.^{[3]
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- You could also text him throughout the day if you want to up your flirting game. Something like, “I saw you in the hall earlier and you look great” will flatter him and make him feel good.
- Keep in mind that you should only be flirting with your boyfriend, not anyone else. If your boyfriend sees you sending flirty texts to other people, he’ll probably be upset, and your relationship could be on the line.

4

Keep PDA to a minimum.

Public displays of affection are nice when they’re subtle. When you see your boyfriend at school, feel free to give him a hug or hold his hand. If you’re both comfortable with it, you could even give him a quick peck on the lips. However, keep everything else for when you two are in private.^{[4]
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- Depending on where you go to school, you might even get in trouble for large displays of affection. When in doubt, keep it to a minimum.

5

Don’t overshare on social media.

It can really put a damper on the relationship. While it’s totally fine to post pics of you two when you’re out and about, venting about a fight you had on Facebook will only lead to problems. If you two are having issues, work them out between the two of you, and avoid putting him on blast online.^{[5]
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- Similarly, you should try not to talk badly about him to your friends or parents, even if you two are in a fight.

6

Hang out after school.

Try to see each other outside a classroom setting. If you don’t want to chill at home, head to a local park or go out to eat with some friends. You don’t have to hang out every day, but try to spend some time one on one with him if you can.
- If you want to bring him back to your place, make sure you ask your parents first. They might have some ground rules to talk about with you (like keeping the door open when he’s over).

7

Ask him about his goals and life plans.

It will help you get to know him more. What are his goals? What are his dreams? Does he know what he wants to do after high school? As you spend more and more time with him, you’ll naturally get to know more about him.
- Say something like, “I’ve always wanted to move to New York City after I graduate. What about you?”
- Sometimes guys have a hard time being vulnerable with other people. Don’t be offended if it takes him a while to open up to you.

8

Talk to him about your feelings.

Let him learn more about you, too. Open up about your dreams, your passions, and how you feel about your relationship. If you ever need to talk about your relationship, bring it up sooner rather than later.^{[6]
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- For instance, maybe you saw him talking to a friend of his and he seemed a little too flirty. You can bring it up by saying, “Hey, I saw you talking to Makayla yesterday and you guys seemed pretty close. What were you talking about?” He’ll hopefully be able to put an end to any fears or doubts you have.

9

Make friends with his friends.

Or at least get to know them a little better. If he’s chatting with a group of buddies before class, go up and introduce yourself to them. If he and the boys are going to hang out after school, see if you can join. You don’t have to hang with them 24/7, but your boyfriend will probably appreciate it if you put some effort into it.^{[7]
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- There will probably be some times when he just wants to hang with his friends without you, and that’s okay! It’s important that you both have friendships outside of each other.

10

Try not to be jealous.

It’s okay for your boyfriend to have close friendships with other people. If you ever feel jealous, try to calmly and rationally talk about your feelings with your boyfriend. He should be able to quell your fears and let you know that he’s committed to you and only you.^{[8]
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- Similarly, you shouldn’t demand that your boyfriend stop being friends with someone or unfollow them on social media because you’re jealous. That’s a sign of an unhealthy relationship, and it can cause problems between you two.^{[9]
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  Joshua Pompey
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  Expert Interview. 27 November 2019.}

11

Show up to his games or performances.

If he’s in any extracurriculars, go and give your support. It doesn’t matter what it is—a football game, a debate, a play, or a concert—he’ll definitely appreciate having you there. Buy a ticket, make him a sign, and show him that you care!^{[10]
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- If he’s in a lot of extracurriculars, you don’t have to go to every single one (especially if it’s making you fall behind on your school work). However, try to make an effort to go to the big ones, like homecoming or the last performance of the year.

12

Encourage him to get good grades.

Be supportive of his academic endeavors. If he needs to take the night off from hanging out with you to study for a test, tell him that it’s okay. You’re both still in school, and you should both focus on getting good grades if you can.^{[11]
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- Make sure you get good grades, too! Don’t let your homework fall by the wayside just because you’re in a relationship.

13

Maintain your own interests and hobbies.

Go to your extracurriculars and keep doing your own hobbies. Try not to give up your life just because you have a boyfriend now. If he’s a good partner, he’ll encourage you to keep doing what you love, even if it takes up some of your time.^{[12]
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- If you have any games or performances, invite him to come support you! It will be a fun way for him to see what you do after school.

14

Give each other a little space.

You don’t need to be together all the time. When you’re in high school together, you’ll probably see each other almost every day. It’s okay to take a little break every now and then to relax on your own. Hang out with him when you’d like to, but be sure to give yourself a little me time, too.^{[13]
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- Make an effort to still hang out with your friends, too! When people get into new relationships, they can sometimes push their friendships to the side for a little while.
- You don’t have to text or call him all the time, either. Sending a few texts back and forth is great, but give him some time to miss you, too.^{[14]
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  Expert Source
  
  Joshua Pompey
  Relationship Expert
  Expert Interview. 27 November 2019.}