How to Tell if an Older Woman Likes You

How older women flirt and the best ways to respond so she knows you're into her

Co-authored by Danielle Blinka, MA, MPA

Last Updated: March 24, 2023 References

You’ve got your eye on a hot older woman—should you make a move? Generally, older women know what they want, and they’re not interested in playing games. If she wants you, she’ll send you subtle signs that she’s into you. We’re here to help you recognize the signs that an older woman wants you so you can make your move. We’ll even tell you exactly what to do to get her attention. Keep reading to learn how you can make a connection.

Things You Should Know

An older woman will flirt by playing with her hair and finding reasons to touch you.
She’ll ask if you date older women because she wants to know if she’s got a shot with you.
She’ll let you know she’s single so you’re more likely to make a move.
She’ll pepper you with compliments when she’s totally into you.

1

She smiles and makes eye contact.

Women often flirt with eye contact. She might look at you, look away, and look back. Or, she may lock eyes with you for a few seconds.^{[1]
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Research source} Show her you’re into her by catching her gaze and flashing her a big smile.

2

She flicks her hair and licks her lips.

Women flirt by playing with their hair and wetting their lips. She may even stare at your lips like she wants to kiss you.^{[2]
X
Research source} When you see this, wink at her to flirt back, because there's a good chance she’s into you.
- Gently brush against her.
- Ask her a question to start a conversation.
- Offer to buy her a drink.

3

She finds reasons to touch you.

Breaking the touch barrier is a classic way to flirt. She might do things like bump into you, lean against you, or touch your arm because she wants you. Mirror her movements so she knows you want her, too.^{[3]
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Research source} You might even follow her lead and touch her back.
- Sit close to her so your legs touch.
- Lightly touch her arm to emphasize a point while talking.
- Brush your hand against her thigh.

4

She asks if you date older women.

She'll ask your dating age range to see if you'd date her. Reassure her that you’re interested by telling her age is just a number. Who knows—you might land yourself a date.^{[4]
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- “I date people of all ages.”
- “Age doesn’t really matter to me.”

5

She mentions she’s single.

She'll tell you she's single so you know she’s available. When an older woman brings up her relationship status, she’s usually trying to send you a message. In this case, that message says, “I like you, so come and get it.” Tell her that you’re single, too.^{[5]
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- “I totally understand. I’m single, too.”
- “Same here. My last few dates just haven’t been what I’m looking for.”
- “Yeah, I’m not seeing anyone either.”

6

She sends you suggestive texts.

Older women aren’t shy about flirting over text. She knows what she wants, and she’s not going to waste time with vague hints. She’ll make her intentions toward you known with sexual innuendo, sultry pics, and dirty jokes. Send her back a flirty text to show her you’re interested.^{[6]
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- “Well, aren’t you naughty😉”
- “You’re so hot 🔥”
- “😏 Looking good”

7

She texts you late at night.

She'll text you late because you’re on her mind. Show her you’re thinking about her, too. Ask her a question to keep the conversation going and flirt over text.^{[7]
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- “I’m just relaxing. What are you doing?”
- “Looks like I’m not the only one up. Something on your mind?”
- “Hey, how’s your night going?”

8

She asks about your love life.

She’ll ask about dating because she wants to be your next lady love. Mention that your last relationship ended, but you’re open to starting something new and are looking for romance. Hopefully, she’ll take the hint.^{[8]
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- “My last relationship ended a few months ago, so I’m exploring my options. How about you?”
- “I’ve been on a few dates lately, but nothing serious yet. How’s your dating life?”

9

She finds reasons to see you.

She wants to be around you because she’s into you. She’ll be eager to see you, so she’ll invite you out, make group plans with you, or show up at places you frequent. To show her you’re interested, chat her up and just have fun around her.^{[9]
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- “Hey, it’s good to see you again.”
- “Seems like we have a lot in common. I keep seeing you around.”
- Remember—a woman is definitely interested in you if she's giving you her time, canceling plans, and making time for you.

10

She dresses to impress around you.

She’ll want to look her best around you to keep you interested. Some women flaunt their most stylish looks, while others dress a bit sexy. Tell her you like what you see by giving her a compliment.^{[10]
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- “You’re glowing tonight.”
- “Wow, you look great!”
- “You look hot tonight.”

11

She wants to get to know you.

She’ll ask questions and listen intently to your answers because she likes you. Tell her a bit about yourself, and then ask her variations of the same questions. She’ll appreciate that you’re taking the time to get to know her.^{[11]
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- “What do you do for fun?”
- “How are you celebrating the holiday?”
- “What type of music do you like?”
- “If you could live anywhere, where would you choose?”

12

She opens up about herself.

She wants to make a real connection with you by sharing more about herself. Older women want to connect on a deeper level. She’ll be happy to tell you about her life, her interests, and her past. Be a good listener to show her you care.^{[12]
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- Say things like, “Wow,” or “Mmhmm,” to encourage her to keep talking.
- Make comments about what she says to show you’re paying attention. You might say, “It sounds like work has been stressful lately,” or “Your dog sounds hilarious.”

13

She laughs at your jokes.

Women love a partner who can make them laugh. When a woman likes you, she’ll laugh and laugh at all your jokes—even the ones you know are duds. She’s doing it because she wants you. Show off your sense of humor by keeping the jokes coming.^{[13]
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14

She compliments you.

Older women aren’t shy about telling you what caught their eye. She’ll be happy to point out your hot bod or sexy hair.^{[14]
X
Research source} Make sure she knows you’re interested by returning the favor and giving her a nice compliment.
- “You have lovely eyes.”
- “This dress looks amazing on you.”
- “Your smile is so warm.”

15

She does things for you.

An older woman may help you because she’s into you. After saying “thank you,” take it a step further and suggest some one-on-one time.^{[15]
X
Research source} Offer to take her out to say thank you. Hopefully, it’ll lead to a real date.
- “Why don’t I buy you a coffee to show my appreciation?”
- “I really appreciate your help. Let me buy you lunch.”

16

She tells you how much other people want her.

She wants you to know she’s hot stuff by bragging about her love life. Although older women don’t usually play games, she may try to drop hints that she’s a total catch by bringing up all the people who’ve been flirting with her. She’s hoping to impress you, so show her it worked.^{[16]
X
Research source} Tell her you can totally see why.
- “Can you blame them? You look great!”
- “Anyone would be lucky to have you.”
- “Is it going to be awkward when I start flirting with you?”

Expert Q&A

Question

How do you subtly flirt with an older woman over text?

Imad Jbara
Dating Coach
Imad Jbara is a Dating Coach for NYC Wingwoman LLC, a relationship coaching service based in New York City. 'NYC Wingwoman' offers matchmaking, wingwoman services, 1-on-1 Coaching, and intensive weekend bootcamps. Imad services 100+ clients, men and women, to improve their dating lives through authentic communication skills. He has a BA in Psychology from the University of Massachusetts Dartmouth.

Imad Jbara

Dating Coach

Expert Answer

Don't tell her your age. If she asks, make a joke by saying something like "Not old enough to be an awesome guy." If you tell her your age, she's not actually getting to know you for who you are. Once she can make an accurate judgment of your character based on who you are as an individual, then it's okay to tell her your age.