How to Know if Your Ex Is in Love with Someone Else

Co-authored by Trudi Griffin, LPC, MS

Last Updated: February 25, 2021

Any time you end a relationship with someone, you may still find yourself emotionally tied to them. Alternatively, you may still like to keep tabs on what they are up to. Perhaps you’ve been in an on-again-off-again cycle, perhaps you still harbor hope of reconciliation, or perhaps you just want to remain in their life. In any of these situations, it may be useful for you to try and decipher whether or not your ex has moved on and fallen in love with someone else. Fortunately, there are many telltale signs.

Method 1

Method 1 of 3:

Noticing Changes in Communication

1
Notice if they ignore your phone calls. When you call your ex, notice whether they answer the phone or send you to voicemail. If they are regularly ignoring your phone calls (especially if this is a new behavior), this could be sign they’ve fallen for someone else.^{[1]
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- Wait and see if they ignore your calls three or more times in a row.
- Be sure to spread out each of your phone calls by at least a day, if not more.
2
Acknowledge their failure to answer text messages. If you text your ex and they fail to write back (or wait more than a day to do so), this can mean they love somebody else. They might be out with that person (or even sleeping over) when they receive your text, and that is why they do not respond.
- As with calls, try and wait for them to drop text messages at least three times before you jump to conclusions.
- Once again, be sure to spread you text messages out, as not to overwhelm your ex in the process.
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3
Check if they fail to initiate conversations. If your ex responds to text messages and phone calls, but never initiates any communication, this can be a sign that they’ve fallen for somebody else. This can show that they still want to be polite, however, they seem to have no innate desire to speak to you.
- Try ceasing your attempts to get in touch for a while (say, one week).
- Notice whether or not the step up to get in touch with you instead.
4
Check to see if they have “unfriended” you on social media. If you try to visit your ex’s Facebook, Twitter, or Instagram page, only to realize you are no longer among their friends list, this can be a negative sign. They may have deleted you because they don’t want you to see a change in their relationship status, or photos of them with their new love.
- If their social media pages are set to private, it will be immediately clear that they have unfriended you.
- If they keep their profiles public, you may need to directly check to see if you are listed among their friends.
5
Make sure they haven't changed their phone number. A far more dramatic action for your ex to take (and a much more dramatic sign) is to change their telephone number. If you attempt to contact your ex and realize that they have changed their number without notifying you, there is a good chance they have fallen in love with someone else.
- Inquire to your friends about the change in number. If there is some kind of good explanation for the phone number change, a mutual friend may be able to clue you in.

Method 2

Method 2 of 3:

Looking for Changes in Behavior

1
Gauge whether or not they respond to your flirting. If your ex has always reciprocated your flirty behavior, and now suddenly they don’t, this can indicate they are spending their flirtatious energy on their new love.
- Try flirting with them the way you normally would (don't overdo it) and gauge their reaction.
- See if this happens more than once before you draw any conclusions.
2
Feel if they are distant. If your ex suddenly grows distant from you, this can be a sign that they’ve moved on. If they longer share details from their life, no longer reach out to you for support, or no longer allow themselves to be close to you physically, they may be in love with someone.
- Try to find out if there is something else bothering them that might make them act distant.
3
Note them cancelling plans with you. If you have made plans with your ex a while ago, and suddenly they begin cancelling them, this could be sign that they’ve fallen for someone. One cancellation might not mean anything, but several in a row could be a bad sign.^{[2]
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4
Pay attention to how much time they make for you. If you used to be able to call on your ex for company, support, or just to catch up, but suddenly they don’t seem to have time for you, they may have moved on. If they are spending all of their time with their new love, it makes it difficult for them to spend time with you.^{[3]
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- Also notice if they occasionally come calling on you for some type of attention or support, but are not there to reciprocate when you need them.
- This can also mean that they have started a new relationship, but they still come to you in times of loneliness (which reflects poorly on their character).
5
Acknowledge if they have stopped being affectionate with you. If you and ex had remained “friends with benefits” since your official break-up, and suddenly they have ceased this side of your relationship, this is a pretty strong sign that they are having this need filled by someone else. If they have fallen in love with someone else, they likely can’t continue being affectionate with you.
- If they turn down your advances, you may want to simply ask them point blank what has changed.

Method 3

Method 3 of 3:

Searching for External Clues

1
Watch for public displays of affection. If you happen to spot your ex being affectionate with someone else in public, this is pretty solid indicator that your ex is moving on. If your ex is comfortable enough to make public displays of affection, this shows that they may be in love with someone new. ^{[4]
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- PDA is more than just kissing. If you see you ex out with someone, try to notice their body language.
- Are they touching one another? How close are they sitting?
2
Talk to mutual friends. If you hear rumors that your ex is in love with someone else, take these rumors seriously. You may be tempted to ignore or disbelieve such murmurings, but just remember that rumors are often based on some measure of truth.^{[5]
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- If you suspect something, ask around.
- Consider asking your ex's friends directly.
3
Listen to what they tell you. If your ex tells you point blank that they are moving on, you should believe them. If they explain that they’ve fallen for someone else, you should try to accept this fact and move on yourself. ^{[6]
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4
Look for a change in their Facebook status. If you are still Facebook friends with your ex, you may notice if they alter their relationship status. A status of “in a relationship” is a very clear message that they feel strongly about someone. Even a vague relationship status like “it’s complicated,” may mean that they have fallen in love with someone new.^{[7]
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- You might also keep an eye out for romantic-looking images on Facebook.
- You may also watch out for flirty posts.
5
Ask yourself if it’s time to move on. Rather than pining away for your ex, and playing gumshoe to determine whether or not they are seeing someone, consider having a direct conversation with them. Figure out, honestly, whether or not the two of you have a future together, and if it seems like you do not, set your sights on moving on.^{[8]
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Warnings

Sometimes finding out your ex has moved on and found someone new can make you feel torn apart, if this occurs then you will need to do all you can to get over your ex by keeping yourself busy doing constructive things.

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