How to Get the Girl You Like when She Knows You Like Her

Last Updated: March 30, 2023 References

Having your crush know that you like her may be nerve-racking, and you're probably wondering how to ask her out. Since she already knows how you feel about her, she'll be expecting you to act on those feelings in some way. Start by spending time around her and doing things like asking her questions about herself and making her laugh. If you think she likes you and you're ready to ask her out, try to ask her in person or through a hand-written note, being honest about your feelings.^{[1]
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Expert Source

Courtney Quinlan
Matchmaker & Dating Coach
Expert Interview. 27 August 2021.} Whether she says yes or no, feel proud for putting yourself out there and respect her response.

Method 1

Method 1 of 3:

Figuring out How She Feels About You

1
Watch her body language for signs she's interested in you. Girls often use their body language to try to hint to guys how they feel about them. Since she already knows that you like her, look for small signs that tell you how she feels. These could be things like checking to see if she's facing you when you talk to her, or if she plays with her hair when you're around, both of which are positive signs.^{[2]
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- If she leans in close and smiles when she's with you, she might like you back.
- If she's facing her friends while you're talking, or she leans away when you ask her something, these are signs she might not have the same feelings as you.
2
Notice if she tries to make eye contact with you often. If she looks into your eyes when you're talking or tries to catch your attention from across the room, she may like you back. If she doesn't make eye contact when you're talking to her and instead looks around the room or at others, this is a sign she doesn't have strong feelings for you.^{[3]
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- Since she knows that you like her, she'll likely feel more confident making eye contact with you if she does like you back.
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3
Take note of any light touches she gives you while you're interacting. Touching someone on the arm or shoulder is often a sign of flirting. If you notice her laughing and touching your elbow at something you've said, or she brushes an eyelash off of your face for you, it's a sign she might be interested in you.^{[4]
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- Be aware that some girls are naturally flirtatious and touch people as a way of simply communicating, so don't rely on this as the only way to tell if she likes you back.
4
See if she's invested in the conversation between the two of you. This is a great way to see if she likes you back. If she's interested in you, she'll want to keep talking to you and will ask you questions about yourself. If she answers questions using just a few words or doesn't make an effort to keep up the conversation, she might not be interested.^{[5]
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- If she asks you questions about your day or what your interests are, she might like you back.
- Notice whether she texts you back quickly and what time of the day she texts you. If she starts up conversations with you early in the morning or in the evening, this means she's thinking about you.
- You can also gather some courage and ask her how she feels about you once and for all.^{[6]
  X
  Expert Source
  
  Courtney Quinlan
  Matchmaker & Dating Coach
  Expert Interview. 27 August 2021.}
5
Pay attention to how her friends act around you. Since she knows you like her, it's likely that her friends know you like her as well. Because of this, her friends will be paying more attention to the two of you when you're interacting. If you see her friends smiling and looking encouraging when you two are talking, this is a good sign that she might be interested in you.
- If you really want to know how she feels about you, try asking one of her friends for their opinion. It's likely that the friend knows of her true feelings and might be willing to tell you or give you a hint.

Method 2

Method 2 of 3:

Encouraging Her to Like You Back

1
Acknowledge your feelings for her. Since she already knows you like her, it's best to let her know that you know she's aware of your feelings for her. This helps get rid of any awkwardness you both might be feeling. Tell her that you do like her, but make sure she knows she isn't expected to respond with her own feelings.^{[7]
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- You might say, "I know you found out that I like you, and I wanted you to know that those are my real feelings. But it's totally okay if you're not sure how you feel about me right now."
2
Be yourself and avoid acting super nervous around her. Even if you’re feeling shy because she knows you like her, try to be as authentically you as possible. If you’re only acting a certain way to get her to like you, you won’t be starting off a friendship or relationship that’s real, and she’ll likely notice that you’re not being yourself.^{[8]
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- If she’s acting awkward around you, know that it’s likely because she isn’t sure how to act now that she knows you like her.
- While it can be tempting to try to avoid her the first few days after she finds out you like her, it's best to go on pretending like nothing has changed.
3
Smile at her to show that you’re friendly. A smile is a great way to immediately look happier and more attractive. Give her a soft smile when talking to her, or smile and wave at her when you see her in the halls or among friends.^{[9]
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- Smiling makes you look more confident and will show her that you don't mind that she knows you like her.
4
Ask her questions about herself to get to know her better. Break any awkward barriers by trying to strike up a conversation with her between classes, at lunch, or after school. Ask her questions about her family, favorite hobbies, or future goals. It’s likely that she’ll ask you questions about yourself too, helping her get to know you as well.^{[10]
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- For example, you might ask, “What’s your favorite thing to do on the weekend?” or “Do you have any pets?”
- Asking her questions will help you figure out what she’s passionate about and what you two have in common.
5
Listen to what she says and remember little things about her. When she’s answering your questions or just talking about different things, pay attention to what she’s saying. It’s not only important to show her that you’re hearing what she’s saying by making eye contact and smiling, but remembering the little things she tells you and bringing them up later could impress her.^{[11]
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- For example, if she mentions what her favorite candy is, you could bring her this type of candy the next time you see her.
- If she’s been telling you how worried she is about a test or project coming up, send her an encouraging text the morning of her big day.
6
Make eye contact to create a stronger connection. Try not to feel like you need to avoid looking at her too often now that she knows you like her. When she sees you glancing at her, she's more likely to enjoy the attention now that she understands you're interested in her. Look her in the eyes when you’re having a conversation, or make eye contact from across the room to catch her attention.^{[12]
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- Hold her gaze for a few seconds if she glances at you before looking away.
- Avoid making eye contact for longer than 3 or 4 seconds so it doesn’t look like you’re just staring.
7
Make her laugh to show off your humorous side. This could be done by telling jokes or by saying funny comments when you’re having a conversation. Even just laughing at funny things she says will show that you enjoy humor and are fun to be around.^{[13]
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- Make puns when you’re talking together, or text her a funny joke or meme that you found to make her laugh.

Method 3

Method 3 of 3:

Asking Her Out

1
Have confidence in yourself. Even if you’re feeling super nervous about asking her, showing little bits of confidence will help you do a better job and may even influence her answer. Stand or sit up straight when you ask, and speak in a clear voice without mumbling or being too quiet. By pretending to be confident even when you don’t feel it on the inside, you’ll come across as much more self-assured.^{[14]
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- Give yourself a pep talk beforehand, reminding yourself that no matter what she says you’re an awesome person who deserves someone.
2
Be open about how you feel about her. Even though she already knows you like her, she’ll want to hear about your feelings directly from you. Be honest and let her know that you really like her, adding on a compliment or two if desired to make the statement more heart-felt.^{[15]
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- It’s best to tell her how you feel about her in person, making eye contact to avoid seeming shy or uncertain.
- Instead of just saying, "I like you," you can make it sound more natural by saying something like, "I really like your personality and how much you care about other people."
3
Think about what you’ll say beforehand so you feel more prepared. If you’re worried about finding the right words to ask her out or messing up, try planning out what you want to say before you ask her. You can write down what you want to say and practice it in a mirror, or just spend a few moments thinking about how you want to ask her before actually doing it.^{[16]
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- You might say something like, “I think you’re a really kind and creative person, and I’d love to get to know you more. Would you want to go on a date with me?”
4
Try to ask her in person when she’s not around other people. Being asked out while you’re in front of your friends or family members can make the situation more uncomfortable. Find a moment when she’s not surrounded by others to ask her out so she won’t feel awkward or watched.^{[17]
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- If you’re with other people, pull her aside nicely so that you’re not right next to other people who can hear what you’re saying.
- Ask her to go on a walk with you to ask her privately, or ask her while the two of you are studying.
5
Write a letter or note to give to her if you’re too nervous to ask in person. Sometimes the thought of telling someone how you feel and asking them out in person is just too nerve-racking, and that’s okay. Instead, try writing down your feelings in a note or letter, asking her out at the end of it. Not only is this sweet, but it will give her time to think about her own feelings and how she wants to respond.^{[18]
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- Write her a note and hand it to her when you see her, telling her to open it later.
- In your note you might say, “I wanted to let you know how much I love spending time with you and think you’re really smart. I’d love to go out with you, if you’d want to.”
- Avoid asking her over a text because this isn't as personal or thought out.
6
Plan ideas for what you might do together if she says yes. This is especially important if you’re asking her in person. If she does say yes, you’ll want to be able to suggest something to do to make the plan more solid. Ask her if she wants to go to a movie or grab a bite to eat at a restaurant nearby.^{[19]
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- Ask her if she wants to study together for a casual meet-up.
- Invite her to a group outing to make her feel more comfortable.
- Plan a fun activity that she’s interested in to show how much you like her.
7
Accept her feelings whether she likes you or not.^{[20]
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Expert Source

Courtney Quinlan
Matchmaker & Dating Coach
Expert Interview. 27 August 2021.} If you asked her out and she said yes, awesome! But if she doesn’t feel the same way towards you, try not to take it personally. Be respectful of her feelings and know that there’s someone else out there for you.^{[21]
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- If she isn't sure about her feelings, ask her on a date and see how things go.^{[22]
  X
  Expert Source
  
  Courtney Quinlan
  Matchmaker & Dating Coach
  Expert Interview. 27 August 2021.}

Community Q&A

Question

she keeps saying ''it depends'' when i ask her if she likes me what do i do

Emily Berger1

Community Answer

It sounds like she's not sure whether she likes you or not. If she already knows you like her, take a break from asking her about her own feelings for a while. If she realizes she does like you back, she'll likely let you know in some way.
Question

What about she think l am a friend to her

Emily Berger1

Community Answer

Being good friends with someone that you like doesn't mean that you can't be in a relationship later on. If you really like her, let her know that you like her and see how she responds. You can also let her know that your friendship is most important.
Question

Word got around that I like a girl. She smiles to me looks directly to my eyes when she talks to me something she only does when I talk to her. Does she like me?

Emily Berger1

Community Answer

It's possible that she likes you. Try having conversations with her to find out more about her interests. If you have mutual friends, you might be able to find out if she likes you by talking to one of them.