This article was co-authored by Nicole Moore. Nicole Moore is a Love and Relationship Coach and the Founder and CEO of Love Works Method, a private coaching and digital course service for women looking to find the right partner. With over a decade of experience, she specializes in body language and helping others take control of their dating life, attract a partner, and build a strong relationship. Nicole has been featured in numerous publications such as Cosmopolitan, Forbes, and USA Today. She also hosts Love Works with Nicole Moore, a podcast for modern women wanting love, dating, and relationship advice. Nicole holds a BA in Public Relations and Spanish from Syracuse University and a Certificate in Personal Coaching from New York University.
There are 7 references cited in this article, which can be found at the bottom of the page.
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Getting a guys attention is rough, especially if you're bigger than him. This article will teach you how to overcome your obstacles and get that guy!
Steps
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1Smile! Make sure you are always smiling and be sure to be positive. Guys tend to be more drawn to the type of girls that don't complain and argue. Be bubbly and cheerful. Also, it makes people feel more sympathetic (and not annoyed) towards you when you are actually having a bad/rough day. This may be hard.[1]
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2Don't look too needy. Try to stay away from asking people to do things for you when you can clearly do them yourself.
- That being said, it's perfectly okay to ask for help when you really do need it.
- If your sense of neediness feels unmanageable, it might be helpful to talk to a therapist about it.
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3Just be kind. Help people every chance you get. Use genuine compliments such as, "You have a beautiful smile," "You just made my day," "You are too funny," and/or "You're so smart!" Don't gossip about anyone, because it shows whoever you would've gossiped to that you won't talk about them behind their backs.[2]
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4Always be loose and be able to take a joke. You don't want to be a stickler... especially if you are trying to attract someone. Try to be witty, quick, and funny but don't go too far with it. Don't overdo it (People might get annoyed and it's funnier if it's not expected/rare) and be very very careful not to hurt anyone's feelings. Make sure that you know who you're dealing with when joking around with people. Some people will take things too seriously or not think it's that funny.[3]
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5Avoid laziness- no one likes someone who just moans about how tired they are. Don't ask other people to always help you do things that you can do yourself. Be energetic and be the first one to volunteer- whether it's taking someone's plate to the sink or answering a question in class.
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6Be willing to try new things! When someone says, "Let's go see what's in that cave!" respond with, "I'm all for it!" Don't act afraid of heights or the dark.
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7Know your limits. When someone says,"Let's go on the roller coaster for the sixth time in a row," it's all right to say, "You go ahead, I'm still recovering!" and laugh kindly. If you push your limits with things, you could end up getting hurt or embarrassing yourself.
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8Have good manners! Some guys like when a girl can be a little goofy and let a burp out every now and then; however, say excuse me afterwards and don't do it frequently. Burping and farting are things that can easily turn a guy off and prevent any attraction. Don't discuss them either. Be polite and say please and thank you. If you say their name when speaking to them it makes them feel more important.
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9Listen. We all love talking about ourselves. Just remember that we have two ears and one mouth and that we have a mouth that closes and ears that don't. Guys love it when girls listen to what they are talking about and understand it. Talk about what he likes and what you have in common.[4]
- Ask good questions based on what he says, too! Focus on making him feel comfortable and safe during the conversation.
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10Ignore the "other girls". Girls probably start to feel envious because you look great and act great and guys have a great time being around you. If they start making stupid, immature comments, just ignore it or say something back that is more mature and smart that will make that chick not talk to you again in a rude way. Know who your friends are and stick by them.
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11Do your research and find out what you have in common. Become friends with his friends (Don't ask too many questions or talk about him too much). Finding out what he's into and does and what you have in common (not in a stalker or creepy way) before starting a conversation will most likely help the conversation run smoothly. Or you could just save those questions to ask him.
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12Be smooth. Don't script your conversations or have your friends type your texts to him.
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13Practice good hygiene. Shave your legs and armpits, "do" your eyebrows, don't forget to get rid of any facial hair, always have clean hair, brush your teeth and keep fresh breath (gum, mints), avoid acne (wash face, use acne medicine), wash off makeup from the night before, etc.[5]
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14Be chill and relaxed. Don't be a flirt or give your number out to a lot of guys. Be cool, calm, and relaxed around all guys and girls. Don't act awkward or seem uncomfortable. Be outgoing and talk to new people and make new friends often.
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15Be respectful! Respect all adults and peers (children too). Say "yes ma'am" and "yes sir" to adults (only adults) but only when the time is appropriate so they don't think of it as a mockery. Let adults (and anyone) know that you respect them. When you disagree, be respectful and polite about it.
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16Be smart and intelligent! Don't act flighty and/or ditsy. Be confident and use intelligent words (But don't overdo it). Don't think that guys are going to come after you, you have to be patient, but if that one guy is checking you out, make sure he is a good person and has good status so you don't get into trouble.
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17Be confident. You have to feel like you are a pretty and outstanding girl, because you are. By doing this, guys will start to feel it too.[6] Confidence is one of the most attractive traits that guys look for.
- Write a list of at least 10 things that are amazing about you. Dig deep and really think about what’s great about your personality, how you treat people, and what your unique talents and skills are.
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18Develop a good personality. If you go around school ignoring anyone and looking unapproachable, people won't go up to you, and it is a turnoff for guys. You have to look like you are having a good time all the time, but when it is time to bring out your mature and serious time, bring it out. This will make guys think you are fun but controlled.
- Rolling your shoulders down and back, making eye contact, smiling, and taking out your earbuds are all great ways to look more approachable.
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19Learn to look great. You do not have to dress all glamorous and flashy to get attention. You can dress casually, like wearing regular jeans with a cute top. Or you can create your own personal style that will make you stand out, just make sure that your clothes fit and accentuate your curves. Make sure that they won't require adjusting all the time (straps, stretchy material slipping up, etc.), that will make you look fidgety and uncomfortable.
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20Believe in yourself. If you feel out of place doing these steps, you don't have to do them, but if you want to give it a try go ahead. You need to believe if changing yourself, if you are totally opposite from this, it might not work, don't try it. It might take you a while to get these steps down, especially step one, but keep on trying if you want to go for it.[7]
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21Don't let others get you down. Being a confident plus sized individual doesn't mean that you can't get a person’s attention. Just because someone is jealous and tries to bring you down doesn't mean you should let them.
Warnings
- Don't get a huge ego if everything is turning out better than you expected.⧼thumbs_response⧽
- If you are really out of shape, maybe you'd like to try to get healthy, and work out. Working out helps release chemicals in your brain and body that may help you feel better about yourself.⧼thumbs_response⧽
- Don't react to mean or immature people in a rude way, even if they try to push your buttons. You will come out as the loser. Stay classy if you choose to reply to anything inappropriate they say to you. That way, you can be the bigger person and people will take your side just for acting with integrity.⧼thumbs_response⧽
- Make sure to show off your best looks in a modest and classy way. Put emphasis on your pretty face, bigger breasts and gorgeous hairdo, don't just slip on a tight top and let your breasts do the rest.⧼thumbs_response⧽
References
- ↑ https://www.shape.com/lifestyle/sex-and-love/what-men-find-attractive-women-besides-looks?slide=63202031-3803-4fac-bdf0-ba7c0402c23a#63202031-3803-4fac-bdf0-ba7c0402c23a
- ↑ https://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2014/07/140725110757.htm
- ↑ https://time.com/2859728/science-of-sexy-5-things-that-can-make-you-irresistible/
- ↑ https://www.independent.co.uk/life-style/active-listening-techniques-dating-advice-b1803608.html
- ↑ https://ponbee.com/hygiene-habits/
- ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/articles/200307/build-your-confidence
- ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/emotional-fitness/202106/how-believe-in-yourself-and-let-others-in