How to Get a Boyfriend in Your 20s

Co-authored by Lisa Shield

Last Updated: November 3, 2022 References

Dating can be difficult in your 20s. You're no longer in college, and you're busy focusing on your career. It may seem like everyone around you is getting boyfriends and into serious relationships, but don't despair. You can find a boyfriend by trying online dating, asking friends, or finding the right places to meet guys. When you meet someone, move towards making him your boyfriend by being confident, taking it slow, and figuring out if he is a good fit for your life.

Method 1

Method 1 of 4:

Finding Potential Boyfriends

1
Try online dating. Online dating sites are a popular way people find dates and significant others. There are many online dating websites, such as Match, OkCupid, and Zoosk. Many people in their 20s look online for potential dates, so you can start there.
- Choose flattering pictures that show off your face and body. You want to make sure to you are showing your best, but actual, self. Post pictures that show off your fun side and interests.
- Build your profile as honestly as possible. Don't try to be something you're not. You want to attract men for who you are, not pretend to be someone you aren't.
- Have a friend preferably a girl that you respect review your profile to help improve it because women and men think differently.
- Remember to always use caution when online dating. Don't give out personal information until you are ready, and only meet in public areas until you know more about the person.
2
Ask your friends for suggestions. Your friends can be a great resource! Let them know you're ready to date, and ask them to set you up. Many relationships start from introductions from a friend, so use their expertise. You can also ask family members and co-workers for suggestions.^{[1]
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- Plus, your friends know you well, so they may be able to match you with someone they think you will be compatible with.
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3
Connect via social media. People spend a lot of time on their social media accounts, and many use them to find people to date. Use your time on social media to connect with your potential guy! Talk to guys you follow, comment on pictures and posts, and interact.^{[2]
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- For example, you may see a single guy from high school posting pictures from his recent overseas adventure. Comment on the photo by saying something like, "You're so lucky! I've always wanted to go hiking in the jungle!" If he replies, you can send him a message asking about his experience, which can turn into something more.
- This may work better if you and the guy share mutual friends or are both part of the same local organization. You may also consider connecting with people who you went to college or high school with.
4
Engage in social events. In your 20s, you may not be in school anymore, so you don't have access to those guys. This may make meeting guys more difficult, but getting out and interacting with people is a great way to meet potential boyfriends. Try to go to as many events around your area as possible.
- For example, you can go to beer fests, concerts, parties, or sporting events. You can try using online meet ups to find social events, joining rec league sports like kickball, or go to themed nights at local bars.
5
Go out by yourself. Going out by yourself can be scary and nerve-wracking. Sometimes, guys may be intimidated by a large group of women. Try going to do things by yourself. This can reduce any guy's hesitation about talking to you since you are alone.^{[3]
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- You can go get dinner or a drink by yourself, or go to a museum or movie alone.
6
Look for potential guys in places you go every day. You may be passing potential boyfriends every day during your normal stops. Start looking at every place as a location where you can meet a guy.^{[4]
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- Try looking for guys at the gym, the dog park, the grocery store, or the library.

Method 2

Method 2 of 4:

Attracting Guys

1
Smile. Being shy isn't a way to get guys in your 20s. Show off that beautiful smile to guys that you meet. Try to make yourself more approachable by smiling at guys and making eye contact. Don't be embarrassed or nervous. A smile doesn't mean you're in love with a guy, but it does open the way for communication.^{[5]
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2
Be confident. Confidence is sexy, and men will be attracted to that. Confidence comes in many different ways. You can be confident by holding your head up high, making eye contact, and smiling. Confident people also dress nicely and keep themselves well-groomed.^{[6]
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- Having career goals and hobbies also make you more confident.
- Staying healthy and active helps boost your confidence and makes you feel happier.
3
Look your best. Though you may have other things on your mind in your 20s, like working hard at your job or advanced degree, you should make sure you always look nice and put together. Men are attracted to people who are attractive, clean, and groomed, so make sure to keep yourself looking good.
- For example, you should always take showers, brush your hair, and wear nice clothes when you go out. You don't have to go to unnecessary lengths, but a clean and neat appearance is attractive.

Method 3

Method 3 of 4:

Starting to Date

1
Assess him as you get to know him. When looking for a potential boyfriend, look at the whole picture. Don't get fooled by a handsome face or your desire for a boyfriend. Take a step back and decide if he will be a good fit for your life.^{[7]
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- For example, ask yourself if he is kind, considerate, and good at relationships. Think about the way he treats his friends and family. Figure out if you have things in common or if you want very different things.
2
Avoid pushing him away by talking about the wrong things. When you're on a date, you want to charm him and make him want to be your boyfriend, not push him away. Avoid talking about kids and marriages at first. Even if you're thinking about it, save those conversations for much later down the line.^{[8]
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- Don't talk about exes. Everyone has baggage, but save those conversations for when you two are in a relationship.
3
Refrain from getting too serious too soon. Though you are actively looking for a boyfriend, you still want to go through the dating process and avoid getting too serious too quick. Let things happen naturally between the two of you and enjoy dating and getting to know him.^{[9]
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- You can show your interest, but don't drop friends or change your life to fit him. Make time for him, but don't let yourself be too available.

Method 4

Method 4 of 4:

Determining If He is Boyfriend Material

1
Determine if he is respectful. Any guy who is worthy of you should treat you with respect. This means he is considerate, listens to you, supports you, and doesn't treat you negatively. Additionally, he should have respect for others, including friends, family, and strangers.
- Make sure he has respect for himself. He should carry himself in a way that deserves your affection. He should also do things that are worthy of accomplishment, regardless of whether that is getting a promotion, finishing a 5k, or achieving another goal.
2
Think about his communication skills. You probably want a boyfriend who communicates with you. You should be able to hold a conversation with him, whether it is about what you watched on television last night, politics, or your feelings. He should also listen to you when you talk and be understanding even when you disagree.^{[10]
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- Your potential boyfriend should be honest, able to discuss problems, and never yell or insult you.
3
Spend time doing things together. As you move from dating to a relationship, make sure you are spending time together doing activities. This may be trying out things each of you like but the other hasn't tried, or doing new things together.^{[11]
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- For example, you may go to the beach together, go cycling, or take a cooking class.
4
Agree to do each other's activities. You and your new guy will have interests that the other does not share. A boyfriend will want to do these activities with you, and you should do the same for him. This shows each other that you care.^{[12]
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- For example, you should go to football games with him and he should go to baseball games with you, or you can watch each other's favorite shows together or let each other choose the restaurant every other time.