How to Flirt With a Guy With Your Eyes

Co-authored by Mark Rosenfeld

Last Updated: February 17, 2023 References

You lock eyes with a cute guy from across the room and want him to know that you’re interested before a single word is spoken—what do you do? Shoot him a smoldering, flirtatious look that lets him know you’ve got your eye on him. Body language, like flirting with the eyes, is often your first chance to make an impression on a handsome stranger, and it’s a great way to let a guy know you’re attracted to him without being too obvious.

Part 1

Part 1 of 3:

Communicating With the Eyes

1
Meet his eyes briefly. As you’re keeping tabs on him out of the corner of your eye, look over at him periodically while he’s looking at you and allow your eyes to “brush.” Don’t maintain eye contact for too long yet. Just let your eyes meet for long enough to let him know that you’re looking intentionally, and didn’t just happen to be scanning the room.
- These first fleeting looks is where the spark of attraction is generated.
2
Look directly at him and smile. You’ve noticed him. He’s noticed you noticing him. Now is the time to turn on the charm. After you’ve locked eyes for a moment, lower them like you’re too shy to keep looking. Then, look him in the eye again and smile.^{[1]
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Expert Source

Mark Rosenfeld
Dating & Relationship Coach
Expert Interview. 16 June 2021.} This will be a clear signal that you find him attractive and may be enough to convince him to come say hi.^{[2]
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- The “look and smile” move has been demonstrated time and time again to be one of the most alluring flirting techniques there is.^{[3]
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- Give him a smile that’s cute and coy, without teeth showing. Don’t make it a humorous grin; a playful smirk will work best.
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3
Flutter your eyelashes. Once you've got him looking your way, blink a little more rapidly than usual. While it's become something of a flirting cliche, batting those eyelashes actually does work. Quick blinking and coy eye movement suggest to the person you're flirting with that you feel self-conscious because you find them attractive. It's also been shown in turn to be a behavior that's attractive to males.
- Quickened eyelash movement is often used by women to signal affection and romantic interest, sometimes even subconsciously.^{[4]
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- A few quick flutters will do. You don't want to end up looking like you have a nervous condition.
4
Hold his gaze. With the initial contact out of the way, draw his attention with a long, deliberate gaze. Show him that you’re serious by positioning your body to face him directly and maintaining constant eye contact for around 3–4 seconds.^{[5]
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Expert Source

Mark Rosenfeld
Dating & Relationship Coach
Expert Interview. 16 June 2021.} Don’t smile quite as much. Instead, let your look turn sultry. ^{[6]
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- After only a minute or so of mutual gazing, the attraction between the two of you will solidified to a near-intimate level.
- Don’t lock eyes for too long. After a point it will become a little creepy. You don’t want it to look like you’re staring him down.
5
Check him out with your eyes. By now it should be obvious to him that you’re interested. Take it one step further by looking him over, like you’re check out what he’s working with. Give him a quick sweep from head to toe and back again, then smile again to let him know that you like what you see.^{[7]
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Part 2

Part 2 of 3:

Making the Introduction

1
Give him a last look as you pass. As you walk by, turn your head slightly and follow him with your eyes. Make it seem like you can’t take your eyes off of him; he’ll feel like a literal head-turner. This is a small gesture but one that will assure him that he’s still on your mind even after he’s out of sight. It's now or never: he'll know that his only chance to meet you is about to pass him up.^{[8]
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- This will obviously work best if you’re passing the guy you’re flirting with on foot. If he happens to be in the same room as you, excuse yourself to go to the bathroom or give yourself another reason to walk by.
- Mouth or say the word "hi" as you walk by to let him know that you're more interested in talking to him.^{[9]
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  Mark Rosenfeld
  Dating & Relationship Coach
  Expert Interview. 16 June 2021.}
- Try not to appear too wrapped up as you pass. The point is to make your attraction to him evident while maintaining your own mystique. Play it cool and get him to follow your stare right back.
2
Invite him over with your eyes. Lift one eyebrow slightly and use a "come hither" motion of your eyes to hint that he should come talk to you. If you’ve been sending the right signals, he’ll most likely want to come over and introduce himself. Be patient and let it happen. Put the impetus of making the first move on him to show that you’re self-assured. Flirting with him from afar will have given him the confidence he needs to talk to you face-to-face.
- Don't break eye contact when motioning him over. Imagine that you're using your gaze to communicate your will to him, or that your eyes are like magnets, pulling him closer.
3
Smile with your eyes when you talk to him. If you’re rather not wait for him to make the first move, go over and break the ice yourself. There’s no rule that says you have to leave it to him when it comes to flirting and attraction. Just be casual and say hi. While you're talking to him, open your eyes a little wider than normal and try to display a warm, enthusiastic expression.Your eyes play a major role in non-verbal communication long after the early stages of flirting.^{[10]
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- If he’s with other people, you might want to wait until he has a moment alone. It can be awkward flirting directly with a person for the first time in front of their friends.
- Other pieces of body language can be used to exhibit attraction, such as nodding enthusiastically when he speaks and lightly fixing your hair with your fingertips.^{[11]
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4
Compliment him with a look. Once you’re finally talking, say something complimentary about his appearance. Don't just say the words: pair each compliment up with expressive eye gestures as though he's wearing each piece of praise you give him like clothing. Tell him that he has nice eyes or a lovely smile, and that it caused you to notice him from across the room. He’ll probably have some pretty flattering things to say to you, as well. After that, you’re in! You’ve successfully drawn a cute guy in, and you did it all without saying a word.^{[12]
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- Talk with your eyes as well as your mouth. A look can say a lot on its own, and you can say a lot more if you match the right look to the right phrase.
- The first traits we tend to notice about the opposite sex are eyes, hair, and smile. These all make great things to compliment.^{[13]
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Part 3

Part 3 of 3:

Getting Him to Notice You

1
Be confident. Successful flirting requires you to look and feel good. Exude confidence when you’re around the guy you’re trying to attract to let him see that you’re worth getting to know. The more confident you appear, the more drawn to you he’ll be, which will making hooking him with eye flirting easy.^{[14]
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- Put some effort into your appearance before going out. Even if you’re not trying to pick up a cute guy, the better you look, the better you’ll feel, and a confident appearance translates to social magnetism.^{[15]
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2
Make sure your eyes look great. The eyes are the scouts of long-distance flirting, and they’re likely one of the first things he’ll notice about you. Give him something worth looking at by making your eyes unignorable. Use eyeliner to lend your eyes some smoky definition and non-clumping mascara to make your lashes long and lush. When he sees you peering at him from under your perfect, batting eyelashes, he’ll be powerless to look away.^{[16]
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- You should also be doing the right things with your eyes. Slightly wide eyes will hint at physical admiration, while a raised eyebrow can create a challenging, seductive expression, etc.
3
Get in his line of sight. In order to establish a session of playful eye flirting, you need to be somewhere that he can see you. If you’re out somewhere like a bar, restaurant or concert, position yourself across from him so that you’re directly in front of him or just off to one side, right in his line of sight. If you’re trying to flirt with him while walking, be sure to walk slowly and closely so that he’ll see you as he passes.^{[17]
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- Plant yourself where he can see you, but don’t be so obvious about trying to flirt with him that you become an unwelcome distraction.
- You’ll have less time to get your point across if you’re trying to eye flirt with a guy that you’re passing on the street, so make sure you grab his attention quick and make the most of the opportunity.
4
Watch him out of the corner of your eye. Once you’re situated where he’s got you in plain sight, keep an eye on him. Be subtle about it; don’t stare like you’re bird-watching or let him catch you looking too often. You’re just watching to see how he carries himself socially, and taking note of how often you catch him looking back at you.^{[18]
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- Taking little peeks at him once in a while is a great way to make “first contact” and initiate a game of back-and-forth eye flirting.
5
Let him catch you laughing. If you know he’s also noticed you, make sure he’s looking while you joke with friends, or tell a captivating story. Chances are he’ll be trying to gauge your personality when he’s looking you over, so in those moments you should display the fun, outgoing side of yourself. You don’t have to ham it up too much—just allow him a glimpse of how sociable and fun to be around you are.^{[19]
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- Letting him see you having a good time with your friends not only says that you’re well-liked but that not all of your attention is focused on him, effectively allowing you to play hard-to-get.

Community Q&A

Question

What if he doesn't seem to like it?

Community Answer

He might be playing hard-to-get himself, or he may genuinely just not be interested. Do your best to interpret the difference, and if he doesn't seem to be playing along, leave him be and save your charms for someone else.
Question

What if you don't know if he's interested you?

Community Answer

That's what a little playful flirting will help you find out!

Warnings

Don't be loud or over-exaggerate your movements in order to win his attention. You want to seem flirty, not desperate.

⧼thumbs_response⧽
Helpful 28 Not Helpful 3
Take a look to see if the guy you're flirting with is with a girl before you start putting the moves on him to avoid an uncomfortable confrontation.

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Helpful 19 Not Helpful 3
Know when to break off eye contact. Don't be creepy.

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