How to Convince Your Parents to Let You Have Another Piercing in Your Ear

Last Updated: November 3, 2022 References

Piercings can be a fun way to express yourself and change up your look. Ear piercings are a common and relatively easy piercing to get, but your parents might not approve of you getting another one, even if you already have one. Learn how to effectively ask your parents for permission using reasoning, evidence, and bargaining in a kind way.

Method 1

Method 1 of 3:

Using Reasoning

1
Ask kindly and patiently. Simply ask your parents for what you want, explaining why piercings are important to you. Let them know whatever is involved, like a parent signature. Listen to their questions, and respond calmly with all the information you have.
- You can say: “Mom, Dad, I want to get another ear piercing. It’s my favorite way to express myself, and I’d really like your permission to get it done.”
2
Give them specifics. Let your parents know the exact type and placement of the ear piercing you want. There are a lot of different types of ear piercings like tragus, rook and helix; show your parents you’ve researched and thought a lot about the placement and jewelry you can wear for it.
- For example, you can say: “I would really like a helix piercing, which is at the top cartilage part of the ear. There’s a store at the mall that I know has jewelry for this kind of piercing.”
- If you know of any online stores with the jewelry you want for the piercing, show them to your parents. You can also show them a diagram of ear piercing placement to help them visualize what the piercing would be like on your ear or ears.^{[1]
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3
Remind them that they have allowed piercings before. Point out that your parents have given their permission for your previous ear piercings and this one will be no different.
- If you’ve gotten your earlobes pierced once, for example, you can explain that a second lobe piercing is essentially the same thing, with the same method for piercing and same healing time.
4
Highlight your accomplishments. Remind your parents if you have been focusing on and getting good grades in school, trying new activities and extracurriculars, or helping out around the house.
- You can also ask for the piercing as an incentive to good behavior in the future. Agree with your parents on a goal they’d like you to reach before you can get the piercing.
- If you have a birthday or other gift-giving holiday coming up, you can say that the ear piercing you want is at the top of your wish list for gifts.
5
Explain that it’s not permanent. Let your parents know that you plan to keep this piercing forever. But if they’re concerned about the permanent nature of piercings, point out to them that piercing holes can close over time if you really decide you don’t want them anymore.
- Note that most piercing holes will close over time without any jewelry worn in them. You can also get very minor surgery to close stretched ear piercings or “gauges.”
6
Be willing to wait. Prove to your parents that this is a piercing you will want to keep forever. If they say no the first time you ask, agree on a later time you can reopen the issue with them. Or wait a couple weeks or months to come back with them with a new argument.
- Tell them right away you are willing to wait for them to think it over, or for a certain time period of their choosing. You can say: “I’d like your permission to do this, but you don’t have to give me an answer right now. Can I ask you for your answer tomorrow?”^{[2]
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- If you try using the reasoning that you’ve gotten a piercing with their permission before and they say no, come back to them a couple weeks later with a new way to ask, like suggesting the piercing as a reward for good grades. Stay calm and polite every time you ask.

Method 2

Method 2 of 3:

Using Evidence

1
Find a quality piercer. Search online, in a phone book, or in another local directory for piercing places that are certified and licensed by the state. Call or visit the location to verify the cleanliness and safety of the building, equipment, and staff. Let your parents know that you have done your research and that you are going to a reputable piercer, not just to a random neighborhood studio.
- You can have your parents accompany you or talk to the staff of a piercing place themselves if they want to.
- Make sure to check Google, Yelp, or other sites with ratings and reviews from real people to see what they have to say about their experience at the piercing place.
2
Research proper cleaning and care. Show your parents that you will put in the work to properly care for and heal your ear after piercing. Share all cleaning and care information with your parents so they can keep you accountable for following through with it.^{[3]
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American Academy of Dermatology
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- Buy saline solution or whatever other supplies you need for after-care ahead of time, check if the piercer provides or sells these things, or make sure you know exactly where and what to buy afterward.
- Let your parents know that you’ll wear the jewelry you get pierced with for however long the piercer recommends before changing it. Also, make sure you know the best and healthiest types of metal for ear jewelry and where to buy it, especially if you have an allergy to certain metals like nickel.^{[4]
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3
Talk about health. Research the health concerns of ear piercings to show to your parents if they are concerned about this. Be honest about the possible complications, but also be prepared with research on how to prevent problems.^{[5]
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Mayo Clinic
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- You can also do research into the possible benefits of piercings, too. Ear piercings have positive spiritual or religious significance in some cultures,^{[6]
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4
Show them pictures. Find pictures online of the type of piercing you want to get to show them different options for how it could look on you.
- Look for high-quality images and examples with classy, simple jewelry to help show that the piercing can have a dignified and mature look that you won’t grow out of.
5
Have them talk to friends. Ask friends who have the piercing to show it to your parents, explain why they got it and why they like it, and what the process was like. If your friend and their parents are willing, they can discuss with your parents why to let you get the piercing.
- Make sure your friend and their parents are willing and give you permission before you tell your parents that they can talk to them.

Method 3

Method 3 of 3:

Making a Bargain

1
Exchange for chores or good grades. Offer to clean your room and the kitchen every week, get all A’s and B’s on your next report card, or another similar deal that you and your parents can agree on in exchange for their permission. You can also participate in volunteer or extracurricular activities if that’s something your parents want you to do more of.
- Give your parents something specific, both to show that you’re willing to work for what you want and that you can make specific goals. Rather than saying, “I’ll work on getting better grades,” say “I’ll get better grades in Math,” or whatever subject could use some improvement.^{[8]
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2
Offer to pay. Tell your parents that you’ll pay for the cost of piercing, jewelry, and cleaning supplies. Research all the costs ahead of time and save up your own money from an allowance or a job so you have the full amount ready to offer as soon as your parents agree to give their permission.
- Try raising the money with a lemonade stand or other simple fundraising activity that your parents approve of.^{[9]
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- If you can’t save or raise the entire amount of money yourself, ask if your parents will match the amount of money you have or chip in the rest. Say: “Mom/Dad, I have enough money to pay for the piercing itself. Will you chip in for the cost of the jewelry?”^{[10]
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3
Set limits. Promise not to get any more piercings after this one, or set a limit for the number of piercings that your parents are comfortable with. You can also agree with your parents on wearing a certain type of jewelry in the piercing, like smaller studs instead of dangly or large earrings.
- If you are going for gauged ears, agree on a size that you won’t go over when stretching.
- You can even let your parents choose the jewelry you get pierced with, or choose the piercing place where you get it done.
4
Let them come with you. Tell your parents that they can come with you to the piercing place, either beforehand to check it out, during and throughout the piercing process, or both.
- It may be a long-shot, but you can ask your parents if they want to get their own piercing with you! Depending on the type of people your parents are, they may appreciate this effort to include them and experience exactly what you’re experiencing.
5
Create a contract or agreement. Whatever bargaining tactic you decide on or agreements you come up with with your parents, write it down or type it out as a way of showing them you are making a well-thought-out decision that you’re committed to sticking to.
- Try making a checklist or a step-by-step process for everything you’ve agreed to do to get the piercing and what’s required afterward.^{[11]
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Community Q&A

Question

My mom just keeps saying no, no matter what. Is there any way to change her mind about not liking the way they look? She's said and I quote, "They aren't ladylike."

Community Answer

Do some research. Find images of piercings that are ladylike that could potentially appeal to your mother.
Question

My parents are saying it might get knocked out in netball. How do I convince them?

Community Answer

Tell them the ball isn't meant to fly at your face. Also check with your coach or club that these types of piercings are allowed.
Question

I have a lobe piercing in both of my ears and I want a second one. Mom has one too. I asked her at what age I could have it (I'm 11) and she said 14. Is that a good sign?

Community Answer

That is a good sign, she's letting you have a piercing at a decent age. 11 is a bit too young. You might be able to compromise with 12 or 13, but don't nag her about it or she'll say no.

Warnings

Don’t try to pierce your own ears or have a friend pierce them if you don’t get permission from your parents. This can lead to infection, crooked or uneven piercings, and other irreversible problems.

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Helpful 74 Not Helpful 8
Be careful not to whine, ask too often, or get angry when you ask your parents. It’s okay to mention other friends and parents, but don’t compare and complain about the difference between your parents and others.

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Let the argument rest if your parents have religious or other serious reasons for prohibiting piercings. It may be more difficult or impossible to change their minds and you’ll likely need to wait till you’re an adult to make the decision yourself.

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Know that all parents and their reasons for granting or not granting permission are different and valid. Know when to stop pushing them and wait to ask again or get the piercing when you’re of an age to get it done yourself.

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