How to Convince Your Parents to Let You Get a Haircut

Co-authored by Danielle Chiz

Last Updated: March 17, 2023 References

A haircut can be a routine appointment to take care of yourself or it can be an opportunity to change how you look completely. However, you may have some disagreements with your parents on what kind of hairstyle is acceptable for you. Talk with your parents to get their permission to alter your appearance.

Part 1

Part 1 of 2:

Researching a Hairstyle

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Look up different hairstyles and cuts. Before you talk to your parents, it’s best to have an idea in mind. Look through magazines, books, and style websites to find ideas. Do your research on what styles look good for your hair and face type so you can explain to your parents why the hairstyle you want is a good idea.
- Get advice from a stylist and friends as well to help you make a decision since they might know what will look best on you. You may also look up different cuts and styles online, searching for shorter hairstyles if you are looking to cut your hair short or longer hairstyles if you are looking for a new style for your longer hair, both these hairstyles can be used to create ponytails in a variety of different styles.
- There are also websites that let you upload a picture and virtually try out a hairstyle. You may “try on” a few styles using the website and print them off. You could then show your parents these images to convince them you will look good with certain hairstyles.
2
Identity positive role models that have haircuts you like. You should also research positive role models that happen to also have haircuts that you are into. Though you can use celebrities as role models, you should also look for other role models that have accomplished great things or have contributed profoundly to the world in some way. Your parents may be more likely to be okay with the haircut if you can show that you will end up emulating a positive role model.
- For example, maybe you find the female pilot Amelia Earhart to be a positive role model. You may then consider cutting your hair into a short cut, similar to her haircut in photographs. Or, maybe you admire Robert Plant, the lead singer of Led Zeppelin, and want to go for a long haired look.
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Don't pick a drastic style right away. You want to make sure you’re ready for a big change and more specifically, you want to make sure your parents will say yes. A drastic hair cut could be a shock for your parents to agree to. For example, instead of asking to shave your head, ask to get an undercut or look into bangs. Think about small changes to your hair you can make first, as your parents may be more open to small adjustments rather than a big change or a major haircut.^{[1]
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- If you think you can handle a drastic hairstyle, think about it for at least a week to get used to the idea. This will ensure you can argue for the drastic haircut with passion and enthusiasm when it comes time to convince your parents.
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Decide on a hairstyle when you’re emotionally stable. A haircut is a big life decision, even if does eventually grow out. It’s best to decide on a haircut when you’re not overly stressed from school, work, relationships, or life in general. A haircut is a big life change and it’s best not to combine that with other big life changes.^{[2]
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- Cutting your hair can be therapeutic in the moment, but you might regret it later. Take some time to really plan out your new style.
5
Consider donating your hair. If your hair is long enough, you can cut off your hair and donate it to a charity that will use it to make wigs for cancer patients or people with other hair-related medical issues. Instead of just getting your haircut to improve your image, you can help other people out as well.^{[3]
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- Most donation organizations require at least 10 inches of hair.
- Check the guidelines for donating your hair. Some places require you to go to a stylist and send your hair in a clean, neat ponytail.
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Take care of and experiment with the hairstyle you already have. As long as your hair isn’t buzzed and super short, you can still have fun with it without getting a haircut. Try playing with hair gel or mousse to spike your hair or test out different types of braids. You can change your look without going to a salon.

Part 2

Part 2 of 2:

Talking with Your Parents

1
Find an appropriate time to talk with your parents. You don’t want to bombard your parents with a brand new idea. Ask them when it’s a good time to discuss getting a new kind of haircut. When you sit down, come prepared with your research and argument for a new hairstyle.^{[4]
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- Being respectful of your parents’ time will show maturity. They’ll see that you can handle talking about a big decision and therefore are mature enough to make one as well.
- Make sure they’re in a good mood when you talk to them so that they’re more likely to say yes.
- When you talk to them, stay calm and don’t beg or whine. Doing so will undermine your maturity in their eyes.
2
Have pictures ready of your haircut options. As you explain why you want a particular style, make sure you have examples on hand to show your parents. Pull up pictures from the internet or library book or show them pictures of friends and celebrities with the style you want. That way, they won’t have to imagine the haircut on their own.^{[5]
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- Have some backup styles available if they say no to your first idea.
- Your backup styles can be similar to your original idea. That way, if your parents veto one idea, you still have some very similar options.
3
Respond to your parent’s concerns about the haircut. Your parents may share some concerns about you getting a haircut and you should listen to their concerns with respect. Your parents may have rigid expectations about haircuts that appropriate for your gender. For example, your parents may not be okay with boys having long hair or girls having short hair. Your parents may also be concerned that you are too young to get a “grown up” hair cut and may not be ready to give up control of your appearance.
- You should be willing to listen to your parents concerns and then respond to them politely. You may remind your parents that just because you are a certain gender, you should not have to be limited to only certain haircuts or certain hairstyles. You may tell your parents, “Gender is a construct and I don’t think it is fair to limit my haircut options because I am a boy or a girl.”
- You may also tell your parents that you are old enough to get a haircut that you want and that they are going to have to trust your judgement on your appearance eventually. You may tell them, “I’m growing up and I think I should be able to decide how my hair is cut and styled. I think I can handle the responsibility of making my own decisions about my appearance.”
4
Discuss the care and maintenance required for this haircut. Your parents might be worried that you won’t take care of your hair after it’s cut. Reassure them by explaining that you are aware of how to maintain the style, what kind of styling products you’ll need, and how long it will take to style in the morning.^{[6]
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- Taking care of the hair you already have will also prove to your parents that you can be responsible and maintain your appearance on your own.
- If you need a haircut to get rid of split ends of broken hair, show your parents so that they understand why you need a haircut.
- You might need tools like a straightener, blow dryer, or curling iron to style your new haircut. Be upfront with your parents about needing to purchase these tools or get access to these tools in some way.
5
Offer to help pay for the appointment. A normal trim isn’t usually expensive, but a full hair appointment with washing, styling, and drying can cost a lot more. Let your parents know you’re willing to help pay for this service either in full or in part.
- Save your money to help pay for the cut. It may be more expensive than you realize.
- Add-ons like highlights and dyeing your hair a different color will raise the price as well.
6
Give them time to get used to the idea of a new haircut. If this is the first time you’ve decided to make your own decisions about your hair, your parents may need to acclimate to the idea. Don’t pressure them incessantly to make a decision. Bugging will only annoy them.
- Settle for accessories if they won’t budge. You can accent your hair with hats, bows, bandanas, or butterfly clips to shake things up a bit and can create different designs.
- If they still haven’t said yes, ask them again a few weeks later when it’s time for another haircut.

Community Q&A

Question

What if they say no because of your hair type? My hair type is curly.

Community Answer

You should explain to your parents that your chosen hairstyle will work well with your hair type and provide research from online sources or from a hair dresser to prove this. You should also tell them how you plan to maintain and take care of your new hairstyle, based on your hair type.