How to Make Someone Miss You

Co-authored by Laura Bilotta

Last Updated: March 24, 2023 References

If you want someone to miss you, it can help to communicate with them a little less frequently. Try to resist the temptation to text constantly and turn your phone on silent occasionally so that you aren't responding to their texts immediately. Additionally, try leaving something of yours behind in the person's car or at their house so that they're reminded of you when you're not around. Staying busy with your own hobbies and other friendships can also help since you'll be less available!

Part 1

Part 1 of 3:

Making Someone Miss You Over the Phone or Text

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Put your phone on silent so that you aren't texting them constantly. When you really miss someone, it’s hard to resist the temptation of texting them every second of the day. But if you do, they don’t really have a chance to miss you.^{[1]
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Expert Source

Laura Bilotta
Dating Coach & Matchmaker
Expert Interview. 4 March 2020.} Put your phone on silent, so that you don’t hear it buzz when the person texts you. That way you will take a bit longer to respond.^{[2]
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- You can also leave your phone at home when you go out with your friends, or turn it off when you’re about to watch a movie. Taking breaks from your phone will mean that the other person has a chance to reach out to you first, and you won’t text back quite so fast.
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Avoid posting too much on social media. If you’re in the habit of posting every minute of your life on social media, try easing up a bit. They’ll miss you more when they don’t know what you’re doing every minute of the day.
- Also avoid liking and commenting too much on their posts. For your own sanity, try to resist endlessly scrolling through their social media accounts. If you can’t resist, at least don’t leave a tell-tale trail of likes and comments behind you.
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Text or message them cute pictures of yourself. If you get a new haircut, or a cute new outfit, send a picture to your special someone, and it will make them miss you. This is an especially powerful tactic for long-distance romantic relationships.^{[3]
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- If you want to make it less obvious, send a picture of you hanging out with your friends, and say what a fun adventure you had. Just make sure you look cute in the picture!
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Be the first person to end the phone call. Don’t wait for the conversation to fizzle out or the other person to hang up because they have somewhere to be. Instead, end the phone call by saying you’ve loved talking with them, but you have somewhere to go.
- Make it clear that you still care about the person by ending on a positive note, but still leave them wanting more by initiating the goodbyes.
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Make plans to give the other person something to look forward to. When you speak to someone before meeting up again, make a promise to do something special together. Then they’ll have something to actively look forward to and they’ll be eager to see you again.^{[4]
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- Consider keeping the actual event a secret. Simply say that you have plans for when you meet up, but don't go into too much detail. The element of surprise should increase the anticipation and the other person's eagerness to see you.

Part 2

Part 2 of 3:

Leaving Reminders

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Leave something of yours behind in their house or car. Before you part ways, pick something to purposefully “forget” and leave it with the other person. That object should remind the other person of you whenever he or she sees it, and it also creates an unspoken promise to meet again soon so that the object can be returned to you.
- Make sure that the object is something you can actually afford to forget. A bracelet, a watch, or your favorite book can all be good options. Your cell phone or wallet would be bad ideas.
- If you don’t want to be sneaky about it, you can come right out and say that the object is meant as collateral—proof that you'll return to claim it and see the holder once more.
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Write a surprise note and leave it where they'll find it. Write a heartfelt letter or card and mail it to the other person. This is a sweet, genuine gesture that shows more effort than just sending a text message. The other person will feel loved and cared for, and happily surprised, which will make them miss you.^{[5]
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- If you spend a lot of time in that person’s home, you can write notes in advance and hide them around their home before you part ways. When he or she finds one by surprise, it'll serve as an instant reminder of the last time you were there.
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Wear a signature fragrance and leave the scent on their items. The sense of smell is actually quite powerful, and evidence suggests that scent and memory are closely linked. Wearing the same subtle, pleasant scent on a regular basis can imprint yourself in someone's mind and make that person think of you whenever he or she smells it. If your special scent gets on the other person's clothing, pillows, or bed spread, they'll be reminded of you when you're not around.^{[6]
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- This is most commonly seen in romantic relationships. The scent of a lover's shampoo, body wash, perfume, or cologne can linger on pillows and other objects, jolting the other partner's memory whenever he or she gets a whiff.
- Signature fragrances can work their magic in platonic relationships, too. For instance, if you love baking and your kitchen always smells like fresh bread, a friend or relative could easily come to associate that smell to the warmth of your home.
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Send a surprise gift or leave a parting gift. When you leave, give the person a gift. It doesn’t have to be big or expensive. Something as simple as a new coffee mug will make them miss you because they will think of you whenever they are drinking their coffee. If the person is already far away, you can send them a gift through the mail. Getting a surprise gift in the mail will feel much more meaningful than just getting a text message.
- If they love to read, send them a book you think they would like. If they love fashion, send them a pretty new scarf. If you do art, send them a piece of art you made.

Part 3

Part 3 of 3:

Keeping Yourself Busy

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Spend time with the people you love. Plan to see friends or family most days of the week. The more fulfilling relationships you have in your life, the less desperate you will be for the person you miss. This will give the person a chance to start missing you.^{[7]
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- You will be much less tempted to text the person you miss all the time if you are having fun with your friends.
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Pursue your own hobbies. Working on hobbies gives you something to think about besides the person you miss. It can also be very personally fulfilling, and a great stress-reliever. Don’t be afraid to try new hobbies and stretch yourself. Pushing yourself out of your comfort zone can be an excellent distraction for For example, if you love to draw, block out time every week to practice drawing. Working on your hobbies is not only personally fulfilling, but it makes you a much more interesting dating-prospect.^{[8]
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- Working on hobbies will also give you something to think about besides your crush, which can be very therapeutic if you’re quite love-struck.
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Get at least 30 minutes of exercise every day. Exercising gives you a bunch of endorphins that make you feel happy and distract you from missing someone long enough that they start to miss you. It also boosts your physical and mental health, and can make you seem more confident and attractive.^{[9]
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- Taking good care of yourself makes you seem put-together and on top of your life, which is attractive.
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Go on dates if you feel comfortable. If you’re not in love with the person you miss, consider going on dates. New romantic sparks can be very exciting and can distract you from the friend you’re missing. Obviously, don’t do this if you’re in a relationship with the person you miss, or just to make the person jealous. ^{[10]
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- If you don’t want to date anybody, then make lots of plans with your friends and family. The person you miss will see you’re a person who a lot of people love.
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Do activities that you like and the other person doesn’t. If the person you’re missing hates going hiking, or shopping, or watching that one TV show you love, then go ahead and do it while they’re far away. It will make you happy, and will show you there’s a life outside of that person.^{[11]
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- Making time for doing things that you enjoy will prove that you’re not spending all your time pining after the person you miss. You’re focused on your own well-being too.

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How can I make a person crazy about me?

Laura Bilotta
Dating Coach & Matchmaker
Laura Bilotta is a Dating Coach, Matchmaker, and the Founder of Single in the City, her dating and relationship coaching service based in Toronto, Ontario, Canada. With over 18 years of experience, she focuses on helping singles date more intentionally, encouraging them to let go of negative patterns so that they can attract the love that they deserve. Her experience, skills, and insights have led to thousands of successfully united over 65,000 singles through events and one-on-one matchmaking coaching sessions. She has been the host of The Dating and Relationship Show on Global News Radio 640 Toronto (AM640) for 6 years and is known as The Hookup Queen of Clubhouse; her popular singles club, Single in the City, has over 95.5K members who regularly join in weekly dating and relationship-focused rooms.

Laura Bilotta

Dating Coach & Matchmaker

Expert Answer

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After you see the other person, don't text them back right away even if you're excited to. This gives the other person space and a chance to miss you more.