How to Make Out with a Random Girl

Co-authored by Cher Gopman

You're out with your friends late at night, clubbing or bar-hopping, when your eyes suddenly come to rest on a girl sitting on one of the bar-stools, and you know immediately that you want to kiss her. Making out with a girl, especially in the night, is not that hard as you think, as long as you have confidence and are willing to take some risks.

Method 1

Method 1 of 3:

Before Approaching a Girl

1
View "random girls" as humans, not as lips to make out with. While you may just be looking for a fling or a one night stand, it's important to remember that the girls you're looking at are people, too. Just because a girl is flirting with you doesn't mean she doesn't have a right to say no to whatever you want to do with her.
2
Avoid looking for girls who are drunk or high. A good majority of the people are drunk, especially in the night, and this is one of the reasons that makes kissing and hookups easier. However, it's common sense to not to go for girls that are too drunk or high, since she has trouble making decisions in this state.
- If she isn't sober, she may:
  - Not walk properly.
  - Mumble or slur her words to the point where she's hard to understand.
  - Sit quietly at the side of the sidewalk or bar, or even be asleep.
- Although it may be easier to get a girl who's under the influence of drugs or alcohol, it's not only short-sighted and shows a lack of character, but also illegal. A girl who is under the influence is unable to give consent to making out or anything further, and engaging in sexual activities with anyone under the influence is legally considered rape or sexual assault.
- This doesn't mean you can't approach any girl who's under the influence for any reason; just don't approach her with sexual intent, which includes actions such as kissing or making out. You can talk to girls under the influence, as long as you don't take advantage of them being under the influence.
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3
Understand the difference between flirting and sexually harassing someone. Flirting is fun, playful, and you can usually tell that the girl is comfortable because she'll be laughing and smiling. However, harassment is continuing to advance on her sexually when she's getting more and more uncomfortable with you. Hints could be like pulling away when you try to touch, not playing along with your sexual humor, not talking much, answering only "yes" and "no", looking away, making negative facial expressions, using a closed body language, and so forth. If that's the case, leave her alone and approach other girls.
- Not everything is a sign that she's totally uncomfortable with you - for example, when she's not comfortable with your physical escalation but is still talking to you. These hints indicate that you should tread slowly and carefully.
4
Know that everyone has boundaries. Different people have different personalities, social conditioning and sexual boundaries. Some people are more open about meeting new people and some may not be. Don't take it personally when they reject you or don't show interest.
- Avoid getting angry when the girl sets boundaries; you don't want to take the phrase "bad with rejection" to serious extremes. Nobody has the right to force anyone else into doing something they don't want to do.

Method 2

Method 2 of 3:

Talking to the Girl

1
Come up with an approach. You'll have to approach her first to get anywhere close to making out with her.
- Avoid approaching her by buying her a drink. There are many stories of men slipping date-rape drugs into someone's drink, so come up with a different approach that won't immediately make you look like you may be dangerous.
2
Keep it playful. Since you are trying to make out with her, find some topics which would keep the conversation fun while still denoting your interest in her.
- Compliment genuinely. Saying something like "Nice boobs!" or "Great butt!" can creep girls out. Use common sense and tread slowly, and then calibrate on the basis of response from the girls. It also slowly gets you in a social mood.
3
Be aware of your intention. Remember, it's not the words but the intention behind the words that consists of more than 80% of the communication. Your prime intention should be to have fun; the rest is all secondary. However, use common sense before going to extremes and saying something extremely vulgar or sexual.
- You don't have to say things that don't resonate with your personality or intention. If you did, the words will not be backed by intentions. It helps a lot to say something that you genuinely find it fun or sexual from a non-needy and fun mindset.
4
Flirt.
- Be assertive. It's very important that you are assertive and lead the conversation. Women are subconsciously very attracted to guys who can lead.
- Have fun, and get her to have fun too. Smiling and laughing are part of successful flirting.
5
Hint at kissing to bring up the thought in her mind. Emotions are accentuated by details; the more the details, the higher the intensity of the emotions. Have you noticed that your emotional concentration becomes higher, congruent to the topic you are trying to comprehend or explain, when you explain or listen things in detail? It's descriptive psychology. Talking about sad things makes you more sad, talking about happy things makes you more happy in the same way talking about sexual things accentuates related emotions.
6
Break the touch barrier. This is gold if you know how to do it properly. During the interaction, touch and hold her. You can't expect to make out with her when you haven't even touched her. There are many ways to do it; try whichever you find easier to do.
- Touch her hands. Say something like, "Let me see your hands. I want to compare the sizes of our hands".
- Hug her. A good way to know if she is comfortable with you is to hug her first. If she pushes you off or doesn't hug you back, though, she's probably not comfortable.
- Try kissing her. If she is comfortable with hugging, try going for a kiss on her cheek, and if she's comfortable with that, then a peck on the lips. If she backs up or starts talking the second you get close to her face, she's not comfortable with a kiss.
- Never touch or kiss a girl without her consent.
7
Ask her to dance with you. This can be very inducing and effective to make out with her.
8
Go for the make-out. If she is responding well and having a fun conversation, then try to go for the make-out - just pull her closer and go for it. Only do this if you're sure she's comfortable with being kissed, though - just about any girl who got kissed by a random guy would feel uncomfortable if she didn't know he was going to kiss her.
9
Know what to do if the situation goes further. Sometimes, making out can get hot and heavy and lead to something further. It's important to take steps to make sure you two are protected and both comfortable with sexual acts.
- Read the subtle hints to know if she wants to hook up. Asking her crudely (such as "Wanna bang?") will make her feel like a slut because of societal conditioning. Practice reading subtle hints to know if she's ready or not. However, don't take these hints as signs of consent; always ask her directly if she wants to have sex.
  - If she says no, respect it. Continuing with the absence of consent is legally considered rape.
- Protect both of you against STDs, and her against pregnancy.

Method 3

Method 3 of 3:

Things to Keep in Mind

1
Treat them well. Women are normal human beings who make mistakes, use the bathroom, have sweaty genitalia, have all kinds of irrational fears and go through the same mental hurdles. Don't put them on a pedestal, or you may come across as sexist or disrespectful.
- Don't treat them badly, either, like some "bad" boys do. Treat them right and with respect.
2
Get into that exhilarated mode. Ever felt so exhilarated from the inside that you don't care what anyone thinks of you? Ask yourself what gets you into that mode. Getting into that mode will increase your chances to succeed, since when you are in that mode, a shift in your consciousness happens and you don't perceive things as good or bad, just fun. In fact, when you are in that mode rejections make you go even deeper into exhilaration. Below are few things you can try to get into that mode and see what works best for you.
- Machine gunning. Approach and talk to bunch of people in a small amount of time. Doesn't matter who; it doesn't have to be girls, just talk to random people.
- Push-ups. Do push-ups right where you are, busy streets, malls, public places.
- Lie down on the sidewalk.
- Dance in the middle of street or in front or random people.
- Don't just approach all the attractive girls, but approach everyone. It could be guys, bartenders, old people. It's yielding to approach everyone, as it not only keeps you in a social mood but also catalyze the transition from unsocial mood to approaching attractive girls.
3
Go out with wing-men. Having some friends is not only attractive to girls, but also helps a lot to keep you in a social mood, which is essential when it comes to attracting girls.

Warnings

If she's not interested, move on. You don't want to get charged with sexual harassment - and moreover, if some girl you weren't interested in started hitting on you, would you want to have her badger you after you told her you weren't interested?

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Regardless of how you treat the girl, there will always be some people who disapprove of your actions. Some people will just be mad that you made out with a girl you don't know, but other people may have valid reasons for disapproving of your actions. Listen to what other people say about what you did if the same comment is cropping up, such as "She was drunk? Why'd you get a drunk girl to make out with you?"

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