How to Keep a Girl Forever

Co-authored by Laura Bilotta

Last Updated: April 9, 2020 Approved

When you find a girl you love, keeping her happy and content becomes your priority. Getting a girl to fall in love with you is one thing, but keeping her love and attention is another. Finding a balance of making her feel special and being the best partner you can be is key. Relationships can be a lot of work, but the rewards are always worth it!

Part 1

Part 1 of 2:

Making Her Feel Special

1
Act respectful when you are with her. In order to make her feel like she is a special girl to you, be sure you aren’t treating her like just another friend. Don’t completely change your personality, but try to be polite and incorporate a few polite gestures whenever you are with her. Being respectful is more about small courtesies than it is about huge gestures. When you’re with her, try doing some of these:
- Hold open doors for her so she can go in first.
- Give her your jacket if she’s cold.
- Put some effort into your clothing choices and be sure to have good hygiene.
- Avoid any offensive actions in public, like swearing or belching.
- Carry her books and backpack for her between classes or after school.
2
Compliment her and be genuine about it. Compliments are much more effective when they are thoughtful and meaningful.^{[1]
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Research source} Don’t constantly compliment her, as this will come across as insincere and needy. You should also try to avoid complimenting her about only one thing, especially her looks, as this will make it seem like that’s the only thing you value in her. Instead, give meaningful and unique compliments a few times a day. For example:
- “I wish I could make you laugh like that more often. You have the best laugh ever.”
- “You are so supportive, no wonder all of your friends love you.”
- “It’s so impressive how much you read. You must be really smart.”
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3
Let her know she is on your mind. It’s important to let the girl know that you are still thinking about her even when you’re not together. This will make her feel secure in your relationship and like you are really interested in her. You don’t need to call or text her every 5 minutes, but check in at least once a day to say hi and ask how her day is going.
4
Surprise her with romantic gestures. In order to keep the relationship fresh and loving it is important to be spontaneous and surprise her so she feels swept off her feet. This doesn’t mean you have to spend a lot of money either. Make your gifts, like your compliments, thoughtful and unique. Make her feel special and loved by trying one of these:
- Surprise her with a playlist full of love songs that make you think of her.
- Pack a picnic, bring a blanket, and take her to a park for a romantic lunch.
- Write her a love note and slip it into her locker without her seeing.
- Get her something she can wear everyday to remind her how much you care about her.
5
Have fun and make her laugh. A good relationship doesn’t always have to be so serious. Make sure you have fun together, both in the beginning of your relationship and moving forward. Continue having fun together by doing activities you both enjoy or by trying something new and crazy. Be sure to playfully tease her daily and kiss after any competitive game is finished.^{[2]
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6
Be affectionate. It is important to show her how much you care in your actions as well as your words. Many girls like to be showered with affection from their partner because it is very reassuring. This doesn’t mean you should try to grab her or kiss her at an inappropriate time. Instead, use a little bit of physical touch during more private moments and follow her lead.
- Give her a kiss on the cheek to say hello or just because.
- When you are holding her hand, give it a little squeeze occasionally as a flirty gesture.
- Switch it up and try linking arms or putting your hand on the small of her back instead of holding hands.

Part 2

Part 2 of 2:

Being the Best Partner For Her

1
Keep your promises. In order for your girl to feel safe and secure with you, you have to be a reliable and trustworthy partner. Being an upstanding partner is one of the best ways to show her that you are invested in being with her for the long term and take the relationship seriously. Some ways you can show her you can keep your word include:
- Keep your promises to her, but also keep your promises to other people. This will help her to see you are a trustworthy person.
- Be responsible with your schoolwork and work responsibilities.
- Always be on time to things and show up when you tell her you’ll meet her.
2
Confide in her about things. Another way to show her you are a good partner is to open up to her about things you are normally private about. If you trust and love this girl, then show her how much you trust her by sharing things you would otherwise keep secret. This will really help build trust and emotional intimacy in your relationship, which will help your love last.^{[3]
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3
Be sensitive to her feelings. It is important to always be mindful of her feelings and take care to avoid hurting them at all costs. Different girls are sensitive about different things, but take note of subjects she doesn’t want to talk about or negative things she says about herself. For example, perhaps she doesn’t like something about the way she looks or gets upset when she feels like she’s been left out. Try to use your words carefully and always be respectful!
4
Be willing to compromise. Disagreements will happen in even the most loving relationships, and it is important to address these disagreements maturely.^{[4]
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Research source} Try not to see disagreements as having a “winner” and a “loser” and instead learn to meet somewhere in the middle on issues.
- If you don’t want to see a particular movie, try coming up with one you can both agree on or decide that the next time you go to the movies you can choose what to see.
- If she wants to meet your parents but you feel it is too soon, be honest and suggest an outing where she can meet your sibling instead.
5
Communicate effectively. Just because you talk to your partner frequently doesn’t necessarily mean you are communicating well. Communication in a relationship is not just about having things to talk about; it’s about being an active listener and sharing your fears, frustrations, and hopes. When your partner is talking about an issue or you’re working through a disagreement, be sure you are really listening to what your partner has to say before you respond. If you are upset about something, it is equally important that you speak up, just try to remain emotionally calm and always be respectful. Stay away from aggressive nonverbal cues like crossing your arms or avoiding eye contact. Always try to resolve the issue, but remember that some important topics may take more than one conversation to resolve.^{[5]
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EXPERT TIP

Laura Bilotta
Dating Coach & Matchmaker
Laura Bilotta is a Dating Coach, Matchmaker, and the Founder of Single in the City, her dating and relationship coaching service based in Toronto, Ontario, Canada. With over 18 years of experience, she focuses on helping singles date more intentionally, encouraging them to let go of negative patterns so that they can attract the love that they deserve. Her experience, skills, and insights have led to thousands of successfully united over 65,000 singles through events and one-on-one matchmaking coaching sessions. She has been the host of The Dating and Relationship Show on Global News Radio 640 Toronto (AM640) for 6 years and is known as The Hookup Queen of Clubhouse; her popular singles club, Single in the City, has over 95.5K members who regularly join in weekly dating and relationship-focused rooms.

Laura Bilotta
Dating Coach & Matchmaker

Our Expert Agrees: Pay attention to your partner and really show interest in what they're saying, especially when they're telling you something important. In addition, show that you actually care by following up and asking questions to learn more about whatever they're saying.
6
Balance your time together. When you’re in love it’s natural to want to spend all your time together; however, it’s really important that you don’t overwhelm each other or smother her. Giving her space is important. Showing her that you have a social life outside of your relationship will help her feel less pressured to be your sole source of happiness and she will appreciate your time together more.^{[6]
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Community Q&A

Question

How do I keep a promise to my girlfriend?

Community Answer

It depends on how big the promise is. If it is a big promise, you should probably mark it on a calendar or set it as a reminder on your phone. If it is a small thing like promising to pick something up, then just write it on a sticky note or on your hand. If you forget the promise, don't make up excuses like, "I was too busy." Just tell her that you forgot and you are sorry.
Question

How can I make her feel loved?

Community Answer

You can simply tell her how you feel, but you can also make sure she knows how appreciated, respected, and loved she is. You can also take her places and do romantic things for her; many girls love romantic or thoughtful surprises.
Question

I am not beautiful, but I want her. Any ways to get her?

Community Answer

Be fun. Be around, in a relaxed, easy way. Show her how special she is, what others do not see. Do not push.