How to Wow Your Husband in the Bedroom: Tips and Tricks to Try

Sex therapists offer tantalizing tips to rev up your sex life

Co-authored by Jacqueline Hellyer and Jennifer Mueller, JD

Last Updated: March 13, 2023 References

Spicing Up Your Sex Life

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Arousing Your Husband

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Learning What He Likes

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Expert Q&A

If you're looking for some ideas to really turn on your husband, you've come to the right place! Whether you've been married 20 days or 20 years, there are always new and exciting ways to wow your husband in bed. In this article, we'll give you plenty of tips to spice things up, along with specific ways to arouse him and conversation starters that will help you two talk about your sexual desires.

Things You Should Know

Spice up your sex life with new positions and new locations to have sex and explore one another.
Increase your intimacy by touching and exploring each other's bodies before sex and cuddling after.
Do Kegels to strengthen your pelvic floor and make penetration more exciting for both of you.
Talk about sex regularly so you can both get a sense of what turns each other on so you can connect better sexually.

Method 1

Method 1 of 3:

Spicing Up Your Sex Life

1
Choose new sex positions together. Discuss new positions with your husband before you try something new. Look through a sex manual, find positions online, or even watch porn together. Mutually agree on positions you'd both like to try.^{[1]
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Harvard Medical School
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- For example, if your husband is usually on top, you might give him a break by riding him cowgirl style or taking the dominant position.
- Remember, both you and your husband should agree on trying a new position. If either one of you doesn't like a particular move, choose something different.
2
Stroke or touch his genitals. Don't be afraid to go down there, during foreplay or while you're having sex. Touching, stroking, and kissing his genitals can boost your husband's satisfaction. If you're comfortable with it, try giving oral sex to your husband. Remember, he may return the gesture!^{[2]
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Harvard Medical School
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- Use your hands and your mouth to stimulate him and play around with different kinds of touch. For example, you might lightly run your fingernails down his inner thighs.
3
Touch different parts of his body. Your husband's penis is not the only sensitive part of his body. There are many different erogenous zones that will light up when you touch him. During sex, try exploring these areas:^{[3]
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- The V-line from his abdomen to his penis
- Lower lip
- The Adam's apple
- Nipples
- Lower back
- Earlobes
4
Try role-playing if you're both into it. Role play lets you and your spouse try on different imaginary roles during sex, and the possibilities are endless. You could be the sexy nurse while your husband is the patient. Or you might pretend you're a sexy fireman who rescues your husband from a fire. Choose a scenario that turns you both on.^{[4]
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- Look for role-play scenarios online if you need ideas.
- To really get into your role, try dressing up. For example, if you're role-playing a secretary, you might wear a blazer with no shirt on underneath.
5
Introduce a sex toy if you're both comfortable with it. A vibrator is a great tool to spice up sex. All genders can use it to stimulate themselves or each other.^{[5]
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Harvard Medical School
Harvard Medical School's Educational Site for the Public
Go to source} Here are some other fun options:
- Edible underwear
- Blindfold
- Dildo or strap-on
- Handcuffs
6
Have sex somewhere other than the bedroom. While you might want to impress your husband in bed, it might make things more exciting if you try it somewhere else. You might book a night out at a local hotel. If you can't leave your house, try being intimate in the shower or in other rooms that aren't the bedroom, like on the couch in the living room, or even in your car in the garage.^{[6]
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- If you have children, it can be hard to get away. Instead of leaving your bedroom, you might try to make your bedroom more exciting. Tidy the room. Light some candles and play some ambient music. Remember to lock the door so that your kids don't walk in by accident!
7
Appreciate him afterward. Your husband wants to feel sexy, too. After you have made love, tell your husband how amazing he was. Specifically mention what you liked and remind him how sexy you find him.^{[7]
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- You might say, “You are the sexiest person I know. I loved how you grabbed my hair.”

Method 2

Method 2 of 3:

Arousing Your Husband

1
Do Kegel exercises to strengthen your pelvic wall. These exercises can improve sexual performance for all genders. Start by finding the muscle that you use to stop the flow when you urinate. Contract this muscle for 2 or 3 seconds before releasing. Repeat 10 times daily.^{[8]
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2
Be confident in your own body. If you feel nervous when you're naked, start examining yourself naked in the mirror when you get ready or take a shower. Make this a daily practice, until you no longer feel shy around your own body. Explore yourself sexually as well. Take some time to learn what you enjoy in bed, and don't be afraid to tell your husband. This will make sex more enjoyable for both of you.^{[9]
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- Wear clothing that makes you feel sexy and confident. If you think you look good, your husband is sure to agree.
- Confidence and self-assurance are sexy. If you're comfortable with your body, you may be more open and involved in sex.
- Remember that your husband probably thinks you're the sexiest thing he's ever seen!
3
Talk dirty to your husband to get him in the mood. Lower your voice and make eye contact as you speak. You might say, “Wait until you see what I'm going to do to you tonight" or "I want you so bad." This will turn on your husband and really build up his anticipation.^{[10]
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Expert Source

Jacqueline Hellyer
Licensed Psychosexual Therapist
Expert Interview. 15 October 2021.}
- If he's still at work, send saucy texts that are safe for work but still full of innuendo. For example, you might send, “I've got a little surprise for you tonight. It's waiting in the bedroom…”
4
Spice up your wardrobe with some sexy lingerie. Sexy underwear could spark your husband's interest. It also helps you feel sexier and more confident, which your husband will appreciate. Save the new underwear for a special night or surprise him when he may not be expecting it. Here are some ideas:^{[11]
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- Lacy underwear
- A corset
- Silk panties or boxers
- An open robe
- Thongs or tight briefs
5
Give a sensual massage to your husband if he's tired. Ask him to lie down naked on your bed. Start massaging his temples and caress down his face. Stroke and kiss his neck before working your way down his back. Spend extra time around his navel, lower back, and thighs.^{[12]
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6
Build up slowly with some foreplay. Dedicating time to foreplay helps increase satisfaction from sex. Take up to 30 minutes to explore each other before you get down to business. Kiss, cuddle, touch his body, or indulge in some sexy role play.
- Don't rush it! Foreplay helps you and your husband bond, which builds intimacy and increases enjoyment for both of you.

Method 3

Method 3 of 3:

Learning What He Likes

1
Strike up a conversation about sex with your husband. The best way to learn what will impress your husband is to ask him!^{[13]
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Expert Source

Jacqueline Hellyer
Licensed Psychosexual Therapist
Expert Interview. 15 October 2021.} Pick the right time to have this conversation—a time when you're both relaxed and in good moods. You might say, “Is there anything new you want to try?” Suggest new positions or other ideas and see what sparks his interest.^{[14]
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- Your husband may not necessarily want to try something new. Instead, he might want to have sex more often or to spend more time together. Consider what your husband has to say and see if you can both work out a solution.
2
Ask your husband to write down what he likes if he's not comfortable talking. Have your husband underline passages in a book, write down his fantasies, or suggest videos of things that he might like to try. Encourage your husband to share these with you by telling him you're open to new ideas in the bedroom.^{[15]
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- You might say, "I know it makes you uncomfortable to talk about, but if there's anything you ever want to try, just leave me a note on my dresser."
3
Tell your husband what you enjoy during sex.^{[16]
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Expert Source

Jacqueline Hellyer
Licensed Psychosexual Therapist
Expert Interview. 15 October 2021.} Good sex means mutual satisfaction. If your husband could improve in some areas to fully please you, avoid nagging or criticizing him. Instead, gently redirect him by telling him what you do like.^{[17]
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Go to source}
- For example, you might say, “I love it when you bite my neck.”
- If your husband ever tries something that makes you uncomfortable, you have the right to say no. Just say, “I don't want to do that,” or “I'm not in the mood for that.” If something hurts physically, say, “That hurts a little.”

Expert Q&A

Question

How can I seduce my husband at night?

Klare Heston, LCSW
Licensed Social Worker
Klare Heston is a Licensed Independent Clinical Social Worker based in Cleveland, Ohio. With experience in academic counseling and clinical supervision, Klare received her Master of Social Work from the Virginia Commonwealth University in 1983. She also holds a 2-Year Post-Graduate Certificate from the Gestalt Institute of Cleveland, as well as certification in Family Therapy, Supervision, Mediation, and Trauma Recovery and Treatment (EMDR).

Klare Heston, LCSW

Licensed Social Worker

Expert Answer

Change up the routine. Be suggestive about getting him to come to bed earlier, wear something sexy, or suggest a shower together earlier in the evening.
Question

How can I be romantic to my husband?

Klare Heston, LCSW
Licensed Social Worker
Klare Heston is a Licensed Independent Clinical Social Worker based in Cleveland, Ohio. With experience in academic counseling and clinical supervision, Klare received her Master of Social Work from the Virginia Commonwealth University in 1983. She also holds a 2-Year Post-Graduate Certificate from the Gestalt Institute of Cleveland, as well as certification in Family Therapy, Supervision, Mediation, and Trauma Recovery and Treatment (EMDR).

Klare Heston, LCSW

Licensed Social Worker

Expert Answer

Be more affectionate; ask him about his day, his friends, his work. Suggest going to his favorite restaurant for dinner or cook one of his favorite meals. Put on some romantic music after dinner and start slow dancing with him. Tell him how much you enjoy spending time just the two of you.
Question

How can I impress my husband in bed?

Klare Heston, LCSW
Licensed Social Worker
Klare Heston is a Licensed Independent Clinical Social Worker based in Cleveland, Ohio. With experience in academic counseling and clinical supervision, Klare received her Master of Social Work from the Virginia Commonwealth University in 1983. She also holds a 2-Year Post-Graduate Certificate from the Gestalt Institute of Cleveland, as well as certification in Family Therapy, Supervision, Mediation, and Trauma Recovery and Treatment (EMDR).

Klare Heston, LCSW

Licensed Social Worker

Expert Answer

You can try something you know he likes that you may not have felt comfortable with in the past, or that you don't try on your own without his coaxing.