How to Get Your Crush to Hug You

Co-authored by Patti Novak Williams and Janice Tieperman

Last Updated: September 22, 2021 References

You’d absolutely love to give your crush a hug, but you don’t want to come on too strong. How can you get the ball rolling without totally ruining your chances? Don’t worry—with the right approach, you can actually get your crush to hug you! We’ve put together plenty of tips, tricks, and hacks to help give you the biggest chance at success.

1

Tell them to bring it in.

Invite your crush to give you a hug at the end of a conversation. You and your crush are chatting, but it’s now time to go your separate ways. Instead of sending them off with a wave or high-five, open your arms and say, “Bring it in.” With any luck, your crush will get the hint and give you that long-awaited hug.^{[1]
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- Don’t sweat it if your crush doesn’t seem super interested. They might be in a rush, or they might not feel comfortable hugging you yet. Just try to be patient!

2

Offer a shoulder to cry on.

This is a great option if you already know your crush pretty well. Maybe they got a bad grade on a test, or things are a bit rough at home. Whatever the case, offer your emotional support with a meaningful hug. Given the circumstances, this hug will probably last longer than your average embrace. Here are a few ways to get things going:^{[2]
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- “Hey, are you okay? You look like you could use a hug.”
- “Do you need a hug?”
- “I’m so sorry that you’re having a bad day. Would you like a hug?”

3

Ask for a hug point-blank.

Being upfront leaves no room for confusion. In the best-case scenario, your crush is interested and you can go in for that long-awaited hug without any mixed signals. In the worst-case scenario, your crush isn’t interested, but you’ve painted yourself as a cool, considerate person who respects boundaries. Here are a few ways to pop the question:^{[3]
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- “Can I give you a hug?”
- “Would you mind giving me a hug?”
- “I would really love a hug right now, if that’s comfortable for you.”
- “Is it okay if I give you a hug?”

4

Look for a comfortable opening in the conversation.

Ask your crush for a hug after a funny moment in your chat. You don’t have to save your hugs for the beginning or end of a conversation. Instead, pay attention during your one-on-one and wait for a good opportunity, like a funny joke. You might say:^{[4]
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- “I need a hug after hearing a joke that bad.”
- “It sounds like you need a hug.”
- “Come on and bring it in.”

5

Send some tasteful hug emojis.

Heart-eye emojis aren’t the only way to flirt. The next time you text your crush, open up your phone’s emoji keyboard and scroll over to the “hug” emote (🤗). Send a few of those over instead of your typical go-to emojis. With any luck, your crush might return the favor and “hug” you back!^{[5]
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6

Normalize hugs in your daily routine.

Make a habit of hugging your friends and loved ones on the fly. If your crush sees you giving out lots of hugs, they might be more comfortable and willing to hug you. Plus, hugging your crush will feel much more natural if you’re used to hugging other people on a regular basis.^{[6]
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- Try hanging out with your crush and a group of friends. Give hugs to all your buddies first, and then offer one to your crush.

7

Keep your hugs short and sweet.

Long hugs can feel pretty awkward and uncomfortable. When you’re hugging your crush, the last thing you want is to make them feel smothered. Instead, limit yourself to a short, 3-second hug—that’s how long most people hug for.^{[7]
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- As you and your crush get more comfortable with each other, you can always work up to longer hugs!

8

Watch your crush's body language to see if they'd be down for a hug.

Your crush might not be in the mood for any close contact. Some people love getting hugs, while other people aren’t quite as touchy-feely. Before you make any moves, pay attention to your crush’s body language. If they’re feeling open to a hug, they might lean toward you; if they aren’t interested, they may just stand up straight. If your crush isn’t giving off any signals that they’re interested, then a hug just might not be in the cards today. ^{[8]
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- An interested guy may raise his eyebrows, part his lips a little bit, flare his nostrils, or smooth out his hair.^{[9]
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- An interested woman might smile, tilt her head, offer a quick glance, or flip her hair.^{[10]
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Expert Q&A

Question

How can you tell if someone likes you by a hug?

Imad Jbara
Dating Coach
Imad Jbara is a Dating Coach for NYC Wingwoman LLC, a relationship coaching service based in New York City. 'NYC Wingwoman' offers matchmaking, wingwoman services, 1-on-1 Coaching, and intensive weekend bootcamps. Imad services 100+ clients, men and women, to improve their dating lives through authentic communication skills. He has a BA in Psychology from the University of Massachusetts Dartmouth.

Imad Jbara

Dating Coach

Expert Answer

The hug might last a little longer, and the person's grip might be tighter than expected. Plus, you'll be able to feel the tension and chemistry in the hug right away.