How to Find a Wife

Last Updated: February 3, 2022 References

Although marriage rates have dropped in the past ten years among men and women, many people are still looking to tie the knot. Paying attention to recent trends in marriage may give you clues on how to find a wife with whom you can build a strong marriage. You can also improve your odds by searching for your perfect match in your daily life, or by striking out and trying something new.

Part 1

Part 1 of 3:

Meeting Eligible Women in Your Daily Life

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Start an online profile. In the last the five years, online dating has become a prominent way for you to meet your potential spouse. Statistics vary, but most agree that online dating accounts for a significant percentage of new marriages, between 19 and 35% depending on the study.
- There’s a lot of choice when it comes to online dating. To name a few well-known site, you might try Chemistry.com, FilipinaLuv.com, eHarmony.com, JDate.com (for Jewish singles) and True.com
- Chemistry.com is highly rated for women looking for same-sex marriages. eHarmony will not match same-sex couples.
EXPERT TIP

Sarah Schewitz, PsyD
Licensed Psychologist
Sarah Schewitz, Psy.D. is a licensed clinical psychologist by the California Board of Psychology with over 10 years of experience. She received her Psy.D. from the Florida Institute of Technology in 2011. She is the founder of Couples Learn, an online psychology practice helping couples and individuals improve and change their patterns in love and relationships.

Sarah Schewitz, PsyD
Licensed Psychologist

Be upfront about what you're looking for. Love and relationship psychologist Dr. Sarah Schewitz says: "Online dating can be a great place to meet a spouse, but it's really important to state your intentions from the start. A lot of people can be shy about saying they want a serious relationship. They don't want to scare somebody off, but that can end up attracting people who don't want the same things as you."
2
Date at work to find a spouse. After you have thoroughly checked your company’s employee dating policy, try inviting a co-worker you find attractive out to happy hour or a nice dinner where you can talk and explore the possibility of a relationship. If she seems hesitant, you might choose more neutral ground, like getting take out late with some mutual friends from the office.
- Avoid dating people you manage. Most companies term this "fraternization" and can be considered grounds for dismissal, since managers are generally expected not show favoritism among employees.
- In some cases, as a manage you might make an employee feel uncomfortable by asking her out, which can result in sexual harassment charges.^{[1]
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  Workplace Fairness
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3
Spend time with your friends, and make friends with their friends. Up to 19 percent of people meet their spouses through friends and social connections. If you aren't keen on your pals setting you up on blind dates, you can always make it a point to attend house parties, dinner parties, weekend trips, and other activities to expand your social circle while enjoying time with friends.^{[3]
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4
Buy a woman a drink. About nine percent of people meet their wife in clubs or bars. If you find the club scene more your pace and are looking for a wife who's similar, you'll have to work to steal the attention of prospective partners from the music, lights, and other club-goers.
- To increase your chances of meeting a wife, you may want attempt other techniques in addition to your pub-and-club wife-hunt.
- People who go to bars are often looking to meet someone. However, the desire for a committed relationship is not a guarantee.
5
Meet women at your church or religious gathering. Although only four percent of people report meeting their spouse at church, you can be assured women you meet at a religious meeting will hold similar interests and values. This can often form the foundation of a relationship that could blossom into a lasting commitment.
- Friends you make at your religious meeting might also be able to introduce you to women with principles similar to your own, which could lead to a suitable pairing.

Part 2

Part 2 of 3:

Branching out to Meet Women

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Join a co-ed sports team or take a class. The more like-minded people you meet, the greater your chances of those people being or introducing you to the woman of your dreams.^{[4]
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Research source} Besides co-ed leagues, you might take a class at a community center in an area you've been interested, like:
- Cooking
- Creative writing
- Dance
- Photography
- Painting
- Stand-up comedy
2
Reconnect with people from your childhood. Having a shared history can form a strong bond between you and your potential future wife. You might reconnect with an old friend or classmate at reunions or through Facebook. Glance through profiles and alumni announcements, see where your childhood acquaintances are, and consider reaching out to a few you think you might pair well with.
- Having a shared background, it should be relatively easy suggesting to her that you catch up over some coffee, or maybe grab a bite to eat.
3
Accept wedding invitations. Weddings are joyful gatherings where many invitees thoughts turn toward their own marital status, making weddings a great event to find a marriage oriented partner. Invite single women you meet at weddings to dance, and then when the night is over, give her your card and suggest meeting up again.^{[5]
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4
Meet women through volunteering. Volunteer work has many health benefits, like lessening chronic pain and decreasing your chances of heart disease, but will also put you in contact with like minded individuals.^{[6]
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HelpGuide
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Go to source} This usually translates to a strong base upon which you can build a relationship and, from there, a marriage. You might find your wife-to-be volunteering at:
- A community garden.
- A local community event, like a festival.
- A community betterment project, like a community clean-up.
5
Go to community events. The kind of events you're likely to go to will also attract women who hold similar interests. Most people go to these kind of gatherings for the purpose of socialization, which could make it easier for you to find your match. If you are shy and think you might have difficulty going it alone, you might:^{[7]
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- Meet women at a community cookout
- Socialize with the fairer sex at local music/art shows
- Attend community festivals and celebrations

Part 3

Part 3 of 3:

Using Marriage Trends to Your Advantage

1
Consider moving to a new state with favorable marriage trends. If you are younger than 27, the best states for marrying are Wyoming, Oklahoma, Arkansas, Idaho and Utah. If you are older than 30, try Connecticut, Rhode Island, New Jersey, Massachusetts and New York, where they are older brides and grooms. ^{[8]
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- In most states the average age is under 30. First marriage statistics tend to go down for men over 35, so take this into account when considering a change of location.
2
Try looking for someone who is slightly younger. A study conducted by the European Journal of Operational Research found the highest marriage success rate when the wife was five years younger than her husband. Though not a guarantee a younger woman is right for you, taking this into account while searching for your wife may improve your odds of a favorable union.
3
Go to college, or go back to college. A study of Facebook’s data showed that 28 percent of married Facebook users found their spouses while attending college. The best colleges for men to find wives were Martin Luther College, Harding University and Faith Baptist Bible College.^{[9]
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- Other good choices included Stanford, Harvard, University of Georgia, Bowdoin College, University of Texas-Austin, Columbia, University of Chicago, Wellesley College, Vanderbilt and the Culinary Institute of America.
- In 2006, the New York Times reported that marriage rates were dropping for single men over 40 without college degrees. Women’s high education rates may have led to fewer women marrying and expecting to be more economically dependent. A college degree may increase your likelihood of marriage.^{[10]
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4
Look for someone in the same social class. Many reports suggest that women are upwardly mobile and career-oriented will look for men who are similarly ambitious. Sites like itsjustlunch.com offer dating services for people who are busy and career-minded.
- Dating outside your social class can create many difficulties in a relationship, like causing you to feel insecure that you cannot afford her desired lavish lifestyle.
- A lack of shared life experience between you and your potential spouse can also cause friction.^{[11]
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