How to Enjoy a Middle School Crush

Co-authored by Eddy Baller

Last Updated: March 6, 2023 References

Having a crush in middle school can be exciting. New feelings rush you, your heart races. You anticipate seeing that special someone in the hallway or 5th period or any chance you can. It is a time in a young person's life unlike any other. It may seem nerve-racking at first, but there are more than a few ways to enjoy your experience of having a crush. Here is a guide to help you further appreciate the experience.

Method 1

Method 1 of 3:

Appreciating Your Crush

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Embrace the new feelings. Crushes are the stuff that dreams are made of and they reveal more about you than you may think. This is the effect of early adolescence, when young girls and boys begin to grow out of childhood. ^{[1]
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Research source} For example:
- When you see someone you like and your heart begins to beat faster or your palms may become sweaty, or it feels like butterflies are in your stomach, this is your body reacting to chemicals in your brain called dopamine. Also known as the "pleasure chemical." ^{[2]
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- You may think about your crush constantly. When you wake up, when you eat, and when you sleep they are on your mind. It will feel like you're dreaming.
- Do your best to not feel embarrassed by these side effects of liking someone. These are all natural chemical reactions in the body.
- Release yourself from the expectation of anything happening. Just relax in the feeling of liking the person. It may seem like a difficult thing to do. But it will free you from any outcome. ^{[3]
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Express your feelings creatively. These new feelings may seem overwhelming and having an outlet for them could help you make sense of them.
- Write love notes to your crush or create a "Feelings Journal." Keep everything you write to yourself.
- Make a playlist of songs that remind you of your crush. Play the songs when you can't see or talk to the person. Or you can save it for the special day when you do decide to reveal your feelings. ^{[4]
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Observe and admire your crush from afar. Become a secret admirer of your crush. But don't stalk the person. For example:
- Notice the little things about your crush. There are obvious things you like about your crush, like their beauty or sense of humor. But also, take the time to notice other things, people might overlook. Maybe they snort when they laugh or they have a small visible birthmark. Anything that makes them different, learn to appreciate it.
- Get to know your crush secretly. You can find out if they have social media accounts. What do they post about? If they post about a specific sports team or musician, do some research. Or maybe they like something you like too.
4
Keep your crush a secret. It's solely up to you if you want anyone to know about your feelings. Be as private as you like. Here's how:
- Remember, no one can read your mind. Don't worry, you have the choice of spilling your secret. And if anyone asks, you can deny or brush it off.
- If you've written about your feelings, keep it to yourself. Make sure what you've written is in a safe place where no one can find it.
- Try to act normal around the person you like. Don't bring any attention to your behavior. Remind yourself, they are a regular person, even if your mind tries to tell you otherwise.

Method 2

Method 2 of 3:

Getting Your Crush to Notice You

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Take special care of your appearance. You do a little more than to your appearance than what you've been doing before.
- Use a new perfume if you're a girl or a new cologne if you're a guy.
- Wear your favorite clothing item or accessory. Make sure it's something you've gotten compliments on.
- Start getting fitter and healthier. Exercise and eat more fruits and vegetables. ^{[5]
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Say hello and be friendly. This may seem obvious but many forget this. Remember that there is no pressure. You are just being friendly. Here are a few icebreakers to use:
- Smile and make eye contact.^{[6]
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- Compliment their wardrobe: "I really like your shirt."
- Make small talk about something relevant: "Are you going to homecoming?" or "Did our team win the game last night?"
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Tell your friends about your crush. One of the best parts of having a crush is gossiping about it with your friends. Sharing these feelings with them can make your relationship with them better. Also, your secret might reach other people and eventually get to your crush.
- Friends may try to embarrass you. Understand that this is part of the process. They will tease you even though they like someone secretly too. ^{[7]
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Become friends with your crush if you're not already friends with them. This might sound far fetched but you could become your crush's BFF (best friend forever). From afar, you may still wonder what this person is like. But as friends, you get to know your crush and they also get to know you. You could start by asking questions.
- "What do you like to do on weekends?"
- "What is your family like?"
- "What do you want to do when you get older?"

Method 3

Method 3 of 3:

Making a Move on Your Crush

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Find out if your crush likes you too. Another benefit of talking to your friends about your crush is that they can get information for you. Or you can find out for yourself. Does your crush look nervous around you? Does their face become flush or do they look away sometimes? Those may be good signs.
- If a girl plays with her necklace, flicks her hair, or rolls up her sleeves, she might like you. ^{[8]
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- If a guy breathes in and pulls his shoulders back or stands like a cowboy, with his hands on his hips and thumbs hooked through his belt loop - he might like you. ^{[9]
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Ask your crush on a date. Think of creative ways to approach your crush about going on a date with you. Search on the Internet for unique ways or ask friends about how they got their boyfriends or girlfriends to go out with them. And if they say yes, plan a memorable date that's fun for both of you. A few things to remember:
- Don't ramble. Keep it simple.
- Make it an offer worth their time.
- Surprise them with something out of the ordinary.
- Don't underestimate the power of just being confident.
- Make good eye contact and smile at them.^{[10]
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Remember that sometimes having the crush is the best part. Half of the fun of getting a guy or girl is the challenge before the catch. Enjoy the feeling of liking someone before getting wrapped up in what will happen next. Middle school is a special time for this special feeling.

Expert Q&A

Question

How do I start my first move with my crush?

Eddy Baller
Dating Coach
Eddy Baller is a Dating Coach and the Owner of a dating consulting and coaching service, Conquer and Win, based in Vancouver, Canada. Coaching since 2011, Eddy specializes in confidence building, advanced social skills, and relationships. Conquer and Win helps men worldwide have the love lives they deserve. His work has been featured in The Art of Manliness, LifeHack, and POF among others.

Eddy Baller

Dating Coach

Expert Answer

If you already know them, it's really about taking initiative. Try inviting them out somewhere by saying "Hey, let's got a coffee" or something similar. If you're used to hanging out in a group, try to get rid of the group dynamic and make it a one-on-one meetup.
Question

Why do you need to have a crush?

Ruby

Top Answerer

You don't need to have a crush. Many people will have a crush at some point in their life, but it's not uncommon not to. Not everyone has a crush all the time either. Some people enjoy having crushes, especially if there is a chance their feelings will be reciprocated, other people find having a crush is a burden. Everyone is different.

Warnings

As a teenager, your feelings can change, quickly. You may think you like someone one week and then a few weeks later, have a crush on someone totally different. These feelings aren’t wrong. But it’s something to be aware of before declaring your feelings for that special someone you have your eye on.

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Be cautious with who you tell about your crush. Yes, part of the fun in having a crush is sharing it with your friends but if you really don't want that person to know you have a crush on them then be careful about who you tell.

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Keep your head out of the clouds. Remember that there are other priorities besides your crush, and that there will be others. Do not slack in school or ignore your friends and family.

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Determine the guidelines your parents have when it comes to dating. Talk to them first. Remember, you are still young and are dealing with relatively new feelings. Talking to an adult can be helpful.

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If they don't like you back, don't get disappointed. If they say no, then maybe it wasn't meant to be. Do not misinterpret you crush’s feelings for you as validation or rejection. ^{[11]
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