How to Deal with Office Gossip

Workplaces both big and small all have their fair share of office gossip. Various topics might get the rumor mill turning, such as illicit employee-supervisor relationships or promotions. Either way, office gossip can lower productivity and bring down morale in your workplace. Deal with gossip by confronting rumors spread about you, discouraging gossip about others, and following steps to keep yourself out of the fray.

Method 1
Method 1 of 3:

Handling Gossip Directed at You

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    Take a moment to calm down if you're feeling upset. If your coworkers are talking about you behind your back, it’s easy to become upset. This is your workplace, though—you don’t want to go in guns blazing. Keep it professional. Get some fresh air or take five before addressing any rumors. Just a few moments to collect yourself could save your job and your reputation.
    • If you are really upset, then you may even want to take until the next day to respond.
  2. Image titled Deal with Office Gossip Step 2
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    Shut it down immediately. A rumor should be squashed ASAP before it gets out of hand. Once you're feeling calm, take swift action in order to prevent the rumor from getting to your supervisors or negatively impacting your work reputation. Find out who started the rumor and speak with them privately.[1]
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  3. Image titled Deal with Office Gossip Step 3
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    Speak directly with the gossip-starter. Go to the person who you believe started the rumor for a one-on-one conversation. Politely let the person know that their behavior is inappropriate and ask that they stop spreading the rumor.[2]
    • For false rumors, you might say something like, “I’m disappointed in you, Greg. I thought you were above workplace politics. Could you please stop telling everyone I’m leaving the company? It’s just not true.”
    • For gossip that is true, you might say something along the lines of “Marie, I told you about my illness in confidence. But, it appears you’ve told others. I’d appreciate it if you let me tell my own bad news.”
  4. Image titled Deal with Office Gossip Step 4
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    Use a light-hearted approach if directly telling them to stop won't work. Another method is to approach the person in a non-confrontational way. This might be best suited for gossipers with whom you don’t have a friendly relationship. Staying light-hearted addresses the issue while also helping the person save face.[3]
    • For example, you might say, “A little birdie mentioned that I was getting promoted…Where do you think that information came from?”
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    Get ahead of true gossip. So what if a rumor has circled the office about you and it's completely true? In such a case, if confrontation isn’t possible (because you have a poor relationship with the person who started it), the best thing you can do is get ahead of it. Verbalize your knowledge of the rumor and admit its truth.[4]
    • For instance, your coworkers are whispering about you having a relationship with another coworker. You could own up to it by telling your peers and your supervisor, “I’ve heard the rumors that Rob and I are seeing each other. It's true. In the future, we'll be sure to keep our relationship strictly professional at work to minimize any disruptions."
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    Work to change perceptions. In some ways, workplace gossip can be an opportunity to improve yourself. If the gossip puts you in a bad light, it helps you recognize how your coworkers (and superiors) are viewing you. Use the information to improve your reputation.[5]
    • For example, if people are saying you ratted out a coworker to win favor with the boss, you’ll have to work hard to overcome the impression of being a brown-noser. Do this by becoming more of a team player and sharing the credit with your peers.
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    Report the gossip. If office gossip doesn’t die down, you’ll need to take it to someone in authority. This must be done for two reasons. For one, if the rumors are damaging, this may be the only way to silence them. Secondly, reporting it allows you to discuss it with the higher-ups before they form their own conclusions.
    • Talk to a supervisor or a human resources personnel about what’s going around.[6]
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Method 2
Method 2 of 3:

Shutting Down General Gossip

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    Enlist those who gossip to help you stamp out rumors. If you encounter gossiping that focuses on another employee, end it by enlisting help from the gossipers themselves. Confront them and let them know that it’s impolite to gossip. Then, encourage them to help you silence the rumor mill. They’ll likely feel guilty and happily assist.[7]
    • Let’s say you overhear two coworkers whispering about your boss getting a cosmetic procedure. You might say, “I don’t know if that’s true or not, but I doubt she’ll be happy it’s going around…Why don’t you two help me stamp out those rumors? Honestly, they have nothing to do with our job, anyway.”
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    Call out instigators. Those who pass along damaging information are just as guilty as the person who started the rumor mill. Go to the culprits and discourage them from taking the rumor any further.[8]
    • For example, you might say something along the lines of, “If you wouldn’t say that in front of him, I don’t think you should be saying it behind his back.”
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    Become skilled at changing the subject. In the midst of garden-variety conversations at work, you probably get multiple opportunities to shut down gossip. Start noticing these openings and use them to silence the rumor mill. Stand up for those who are being discussed. Try to steer the conversation away from gossipy topics.
    • For instance, you’re talking to a coworker about Bill’s report and they say, “Yeah, I hear his wife asked for a divorce.” You might counter with, “Bill did a really good job with these numbers. What was your question again?”
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Method 3
Method 3 of 3:

Keeping Yourself Out of Gossip

  1. Image titled Deal with Office Gossip Step 11
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    Refuse to participate. Discourage workplace gossip by becoming the person that stays away from the gossipy crowd and gossipy situations. This doesn’t mean coming off as a goodie two-shoes or isolating yourself in the workplace. It means avoiding situations where gossip is more common, such as the break room or the ten minutes before a meeting starts.[9]
    • If you can't avoid a gossipy situation, simply say "I'd rather not discuss him without him being there" and leave it at that.
    • If you do not want to make a direct comment, then you can also say something like, "I really don't know anything about that."
  2. Image titled Deal with Office Gossip Step 12
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    Make positive comments. As a rule-of-thumb, make it your business to discuss other people at your job in positive, inspiring ways. Be the person who always has something nice to say. When other people see you modeling “good” behavior, perhaps they’ll follow suit.[10]
    • For instance, if you know an unflattering remark is making its rounds about a peer, you might counter by saying something like, "Paul's doing a great job on the new project. I think his creativity is really showing."
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    Avoid venting at work. If you’re discussing personal or professional frustrations with your coworkers, you’re opening yourself up for being the subject of gossip. Resist voicing your discontent with a new policy or sharing what happened in a private meeting. Only share what you feel comfortable being out there.[11]
    • If you do discuss personal or professional matters at work, do so with people you can trust.
  4. Image titled Deal with Office Gossip Step 14
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    Build alliances at work. Anyone can be the subject of the rumor mill. However, you can lower your chances of being gossiped about and increase the likelihood that your coworkers will stand up for you by making allies. If you’re new to a particular job or department, be sure to make friends with coworkers at your level as well as those above or below you.[12]
    • Having a few friends at work can ensure that you hear about rumors. Plus, with allies, you’ll have help squashing any unkind talk before it damages your reputation.
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Expert Q&A

  • Question
    How does gossip affect the workplace?
    Klare Heston, LCSW
    Klare Heston, LCSW
    Licensed Social Worker
    Klare Heston is a Licensed Independent Clinical Social Worker based in Cleveland, Ohio. With experience in academic counseling and clinical supervision, Klare received her Master of Social Work from the Virginia Commonwealth University in 1983. She also holds a 2-Year Post-Graduate Certificate from the Gestalt Institute of Cleveland, as well as certification in Family Therapy, Supervision, Mediation, and Trauma Recovery and Treatment (EMDR).
    Klare Heston, LCSW
    Klare Heston, LCSW
    Licensed Social Worker
    Expert Answer
    Gossip affects productivity and just plain getting the job done. It can also affect the reputation of the person talked about, and their future standing in the organization. It also creates division rather than team building.
  • Question
    What is gossiping?
    Klare Heston, LCSW
    Klare Heston, LCSW
    Licensed Social Worker
    Klare Heston is a Licensed Independent Clinical Social Worker based in Cleveland, Ohio. With experience in academic counseling and clinical supervision, Klare received her Master of Social Work from the Virginia Commonwealth University in 1983. She also holds a 2-Year Post-Graduate Certificate from the Gestalt Institute of Cleveland, as well as certification in Family Therapy, Supervision, Mediation, and Trauma Recovery and Treatment (EMDR).
    Klare Heston, LCSW
    Klare Heston, LCSW
    Licensed Social Worker
    Expert Answer
    Gossipping is idle talk about a person or persons within a certain circle of friends, or family, or work colleagues. It is typically based on personal or private aspects of a person's life. But, the information is passed around as if it were true and verified.
  • Question
    What is considered slander in the workplace?
    Klare Heston, LCSW
    Klare Heston, LCSW
    Licensed Social Worker
    Klare Heston is a Licensed Independent Clinical Social Worker based in Cleveland, Ohio. With experience in academic counseling and clinical supervision, Klare received her Master of Social Work from the Virginia Commonwealth University in 1983. She also holds a 2-Year Post-Graduate Certificate from the Gestalt Institute of Cleveland, as well as certification in Family Therapy, Supervision, Mediation, and Trauma Recovery and Treatment (EMDR).
    Klare Heston, LCSW
    Klare Heston, LCSW
    Licensed Social Worker
    Expert Answer
    Slander consists of ruining the reputation and thereby professional productivity of a member based on incomplete or inaccurate information that is verbally passed around. The information is taken on its face value as accurate, and correcting it can be very difficult.
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References

  1. ↑ https://www.forbes.com/sites/lisaquast/2013/10/14/new-managers-5-ways-to-stop-negative-office-gossip/#59f7fbb5431b
  2. ↑ https://www.forbes.com/sites/lisaquast/2013/10/14/new-managers-5-ways-to-stop-negative-office-gossip/#59f7fbb5431b
  3. ↑ https://www.monster.com/career-advice/article/ways-to-handle-gossip-at-work
  4. ↑ http://www.businessinsider.com/how-to-deal-with-gossip-at-work-2017-3
  5. ↑ https://www.monster.com/career-advice/article/ways-to-handle-gossip-at-work
  6. ↑ https://www.shrm.org/resourcesandtools/hr-topics/employee-relations/pages/office-gossip-policies.aspx
  7. ↑ https://www.fastcompany.com/3049004/how-to-handle-office-gossip-when-its-about-you
  8. ↑ https://www.monster.com/career-advice/article/ways-to-handle-gossip-at-work
  9. ↑ https://www.inc.com/john-boitnott/how-to-avoid-getting-taken-in-by-your-office-gossip.html
  1. ↑ https://www.forbes.com/sites/lisaquast/2013/10/14/new-managers-5-ways-to-stop-negative-office-gossip/#59f7fbb5431b
  2. ↑ https://www.themuse.com/advice/4-realistic-ways-to-steer-clear-of-office-drama-without-being-a-goody-twoshoes
  3. ↑ http://www.theloop.ca/six-ways-to-make-office-gossip-work-for-you/

About This Article

Klare Heston, LCSW
Co-authored by:
Klare Heston, LCSW
Licensed Social Worker
This article was co-authored by Klare Heston, LCSW. Klare Heston is a Licensed Independent Clinical Social Worker based in Cleveland, Ohio. With experience in academic counseling and clinical supervision, Klare received her Master of Social Work from the Virginia Commonwealth University in 1983. She also holds a 2-Year Post-Graduate Certificate from the Gestalt Institute of Cleveland, as well as certification in Family Therapy, Supervision, Mediation, and Trauma Recovery and Treatment (EMDR). This article has been viewed 316,506 times.
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Co-authors: 17
Updated: November 14, 2022
Views: 316,506
Categories: Interacting with Colleagues | Gossip and Rumors
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