How to Deal With Your Crush's Death

Last Updated: October 8, 2022 Approved

Dealing with death is a difficult process, and dealing with the regret of not having shared your feelings prior to losing the one you love can seem unbearable. There is no right answer, and there are no words that will give you immediate comfort, but there are things you can focus on to help deal with the pain and regret.

Steps

1
Accept the fact that your crush is gone. This may be the most difficult part, especially if you had deep feelings for that person, and you never had an opportunity to share those feelings.
2
Go ahead and grieve, shed your tears, and let the pain wash over and through you. This is difficult, but it is an unavoidable part of the process. The depth of the hurt reflects the depth of your humanity, and your love for the one who has died.

Advertisement
3
Put your thoughts down in a journal or diary. List each thought you have about the person, and after you have written it down, think about it, even immerse yourself into it. Until you do this, you will not be able to get past it toward acceptance and peace.
4
Find out if there is an online page dedicated to the person who has died. Often there will be memorial pages, with blogs or links so you can write your feelings for the world to share anonymously. If there is not, you can begin one.
5
Write a letter to the person, tell them everything you ever felt about them, and how it feels to lose them. Seal it in a plain envelope with no name or address, and put it in a safe place. This will verbalize your feelings, and make them a permanent part of your own history and memories.
6
Talk to your friends about what you feel. If your feelings are too personal or you think it would be embarrassing, you can talk in general terms about it, but you need to share what you are feeling, and receive support from people who care about you.
7
Go and pay your last respects, either at the funeral, or if you cannot deal with that level of emotion, to a place you associate with the person. Drop some flowers there, or something you believe they would like, sit and let another flood of tears flow over you if you need to, then walk away with the knowledge that you are beyond the place where you can give them any more.
8
Tell your parents, a very close friend, or a religious leader (if you're religious) about your hurt. Do not let depression become a prison for you. It is normal to feel depressed for a time, and the feelings of grief and regret will continue to come around for a long time, even the rest of your life, but again, that is just a reminder of your own humanity, and your care for another person.
9
Get back into life. Return to school, and other activities you are expected to be involved in. It may seem hard to do at first, but being engaged in something challenging, productive, and familiar will allow you to focus on things at hand, and not your regrets.
10
Tell your parents if you feel at the least like you just can't deal with this on your own. There are counselors and other professionals who can offer help in healing from your loss if it is too much for you.

Warnings

Don't bury your pain. Talk about it - don't try to keep in deep inside you, for it will fester and rot you.

⧼thumbs_response⧽
Helpful 7 Not Helpful 0
Depression can lead to physical problems, loss of energy, and the lack of ability to function. If you cannot deal with it, get your family to find you professional help.

⧼thumbs_response⧽
Helpful 6 Not Helpful 0