How to Dance Sexually

Co-authored by Alysha Jeney, MA, LMFT

Last Updated: December 6, 2021 References

Everyone wants to be a sexy dancer, but you may feel self-conscious expressing your sensuality. Whether you’re a good dancer looking to learn some new moves or a nervous beginner, you can embrace your sexuality to attract others. By dancing in public with friends, dancing for a partner in private, and practicing and perfecting your private dance, you can ensure that your body hits the right notes.

Method 1

Method 1 of 3:

Dancing in Public

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Try the head-to-toe. Work your way from the top of your body to your feet, incorporating a dance move with your head, then your shoulders, then your hips, then your feet. The effect is a sensual cascade that will have your fellow dancers in a trance.^{[1]
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- For example, you could toss your hair, then shimmy your shoulders, then swirl your hips, then step outward with your feet. Try different combinations to find a sequence that feels natural to you.
- For a fun twist, reverse the move and start with your feet, working your way back up to your head.
2
Do the lasso. Plant your feet, and raise both of your arms over your head. Sensually move your arms above your head in a circle. As you do this, rotate your hips in a circle to match the movement of your arms.^{[2]
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- This can also be done with one arm.
3
Turn around and look over your shoulder. While grooving to the beat, turn your body away from your circle of friends or date. Then, turn your head to the side and look back over your shoulder to make eye contact with your dancing partners while you move your body. This can show off your playful side.^{[3]
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- If you’re not sure what to do with your body during your turn around, move your hips in a circle like you are hula hooping. The more fluidly your body moves, the better.
4
Sway your hips from one side to the other. Slowly work your way to the ground and back up again. If you do this slowly, it’s more sensual, while doing it quickly appears more flirty and fun.^{[4]
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- Try incorporating your arms and shoulders by moving them in the opposite direction of each hip sway. This will give you some natural rhythm.
5
Drop it low. Stand with your feet shoulder-width apart, and quickly drop your body down into a squat. Balancing on your toes at the bottom of the squat, move your shoulders from side to side. Dance at the low point for a few seconds. Depending on your style, either pop back up, or slowly groove your way back up to standing.^{[5]
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- For extra sex appeal, bounce your backside up and down while maintaining your balance in a low position.
- You can vary this move by starting with your feet together rather than shoulder-width apart or facing away from your friends rather than towards them.
- Stay in control of your body as you move up and down, especially if you are wearing high heels. You can practice in front of a mirror at home to see what looks the best to you.
6
Grind with a partner. Press the front of your body against the front of your dance partner’s body. Starting slowly, sway your hips from side to side in time with theirs along to the rhythm of the music. The goal is to groove to the beat in a synchronized way like you are one person rather than 2.^{[6]
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- Before dancing intimately with someone, you should always ask, “Do you want to dance?” If they say yes, you’ll know your close contact is okay with them.
- Adjust your rhythm as necessary to match their body. Note if they are moving slower or faster than you are, and do your best to sync up.
- For a variation on this, dance with both partners pressed against each other but facing the same direction. One person’s back will be against the other’s chest. This encourages affection, such as kissing and holding hands.

Method 2

Method 2 of 3:

Dancing for a Partner in Private

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Wear something that makes you feel confident. Whether its lace lingerie or a tank top and tights, put on clothes that make you feel sexy and bold. A power blazer may do as much for your self-esteem as a corset.^{[7]
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- If nothing in your closet inspires you, go buy something that makes you feel great about yourself. Clothes with a little stretch will be the easiest to dance in.
- A racy costume may make you feel like a whole new person or just really silly. Go with what feels natural.
- Showing off parts of your body that your partner likes can make the dance feel special for them.^{[8]
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2
Put on music that makes you feel sexy. Set your dance to a song you love to make yourself feel confident and uninhibited.
- You could try a song that holds special significance for you and your partner or just one that makes you feel good.
- Slower, more sensual songs may be easier for beginners to dance to.
3
Make eye contact with your partner. Look into your partner’s eyes as you begin moving to your favorite music. Eye contact causes arousal and will make your efforts seem personal and loving, even if your moves aren’t professional.^{[9]
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- Break eye contact to follow your hands with your eyes, then make eye contact again. This can be exciting for your partner.
4
Curve your body as you move. Move fluidly, avoiding harsh or jolting movements. Holding your posture or limbs too straight removes some of the softness of sensual dancing. Try to make elegant curved shapes with your body, arms, and legs as you move.^{[10]
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- For example, rather than bending over with a flat back, try arching your back.
- Rather than holding your arms with a harsh bend in the elbow, create small bends in your elbow and wrist for a soft “C” shape.
5
Slow things down for more impact. Move your body slowly and deliberately for additional sex appeal. Fast or jerky motions can be jarring for the viewer. Practice your moves in front of a mirror to get your tempo just right.^{[11]
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Point your toes. Avoid flexing your feet or moving on flat feet during a sensual dance. Pointing your toes looks graceful and sexy. If you’re of shorter stature, pointed toes also make your legs appear longer.^{[12]
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Method 3

Method 3 of 3:

Practicing and Perfecting Your Private Dance

1
Watch videos of sexy dances to get ideas. Seek out videos on YouTube to find sensual dance moves that feel natural to you. Feeling comfortable with your dance moves will help you feel confident rather than silly or awkward while dancing. Try different moves in the mirror to find the ones that look pleasing to you.^{[13]
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2
Try one move at a time. Focus on executing one dance move at a time. Trying to do too much with multiple parts of your body can be distracting for your partner rather than sexy. If a dance move feels too complex, strip out an element or two so it’s easier for you.^{[14]
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- Trying moves beyond your skills can also cause you to hurt yourself or lose your balance. Do what is well within your comfort and fitness level.
3
Go for simple, impactful movements. Strive for simplicity as you build your dance confidence and skills. Moves don’t have to be complex to be enticing. For example, sensually flipping your hair back is sexy without being overly difficult or complicated.^{[15]
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4
Start by standing behind your partner if you feel shy. Run your hands up and down your partner’s chest to build intimacy before dancing. The fact that they can’t see you will heighten their anticipation. It also helps you kick things off without feeling too much pressure.^{[16]
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Roll your torso. Move your body in a wave motion, rolling your shoulders back and letting the curve of your spine follow. Do this a couple of times in a smooth, fluid motion to entice your partner.^{[17]
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- Remember, there’s no wrong way to dance or be sexy. Find a way to be sensual that feels comfortable to you.

Expert Q&A

Question

How can you catch someone's interest just by using your eyes?

Alysha Jeney, MA, LMFT
Licensed Relationship Therapist
Alysha Jeney is a Licensed Relationship Therapist, the Owner of Modern Love Counseling, and the Co-Founder of The Modern Love Box. She specializes in relationship therapy, intimacy building, and existential exploration. Alysha holds a BA in Psychology from The Metropolitan State University of Denver and an MA in Marriage and Family Therapy/Counseling from Regis University. She has been featured in publications such as The Washington Post and The Huffington Post.

Alysha Jeney, MA, LMFT

Licensed Relationship Therapist

Expert Answer

Now that your face is half-covered with a mask, eyes are the only way you can communicate. Intentional locking of eyes and holding it for a few seconds at a time and then looking back sends a signal that you're interested in somebody. Expressions of your eyebrows and winking could also be like flirting with your eyes.