How to Practice Lap Dance Etiquette

Co-authored by wikiHow Staff

Last Updated: June 3, 2021 References

Getting a lap dance is great fun, but it’s important to obey the rules of good etiquette when getting one! Be kind and polite to the dancers, and express exactly what you’re interested in while following the rules of the strip club. Using good etiquette during a lap dance and throughout your visit to the club will ensure you have a great time.

Method 1

Method 1 of 3:

Being a Good Customer

1
Buy drinks for dancers you're interested in getting a dance from. Ask the stripper you’d like a lap dance from if they’d like a drink. Buying a drink for a stripper could make them appreciative and more interested in helping you have a good time.^{[1]
X
Research source}
2
Ask for what you want. Open and honest communication is the best way to have a good lap dance experience. For instance, you might approach a dancer and say, “Hello, I am interested in a lap dance. May I schedule one with you?”^{[2]
X
Research source}
- If you’d like the lap dancer to join you for a drink (either before or after receiving a lap dance), feel free to do so. Once you’re in conversation with a lap dancer, you can ask for additional lap dances or other services.
- The one exception, typically, is not to ask the stripper for sex. However, if you’re in a location where prostitution is legal, this might be permitted. Ask club owners or staff if you’re allowed to proposition the dancers for sexual intercourse.
- You should not ask the dancers to marry or date you. This sort of overly-familiar proposal is frowned on.^{[3]
  X
  Research source}
3
Ask how much the lap dance costs. In some strip clubs, dancers will provide a lap dance, then claim you owe some exorbitant price. To avoid getting yourself in a bad situation, ask ahead of time how much the lap dance will cost and decide if you can afford it.^{[4]
X
Research source}
- Strip clubs often have high service charges for credit cards, so ask what these service charges are if you intend to use your credit card. Otherwise, bring cash.
- Expect to pay up to $50 for a dance.
4
Use polite and respectful language. Calling the stripper a degrading name or using foul language could cause them to get upset and cut the lap dance short. On the other hand, if you use polite language, the dancers will appreciate you and perhaps give you more attentive service.^{[5]
X
Research source}
- For the same reason, do not show the dancer compromising photos of yourself.^{[6]
  X
  Research source}
5
Obey the rules. When you arrive at the club, ask what the rules are and check the signs posted around the club. Read these signs carefully to ensure you understand what you are and aren’t allowed to do.
- Breaking the rules could not only upset the stripper, but could also lead to you being asked to leave the club.
- Don’t do anything you haven’t been given permission to do.
6
Don’t touch the strippers. Strip clubs often have a no touching rule, and violating the rule could lead to your ejection from the club. However, if you really want to touch a stripper during a lap dance, it never hurts to ask.
7
Don’t take photos or film anything in the club. Strip club owners want you to make lots of great memories while in their club, but they typically do not appreciate customers who take photos and video. Plus, fumbling with your phone or camera in an attempt to take photos or video will only distract you from the lap dance experience.^{[7]
X
Research source}
8
Don’t be afraid to say “no.” If you become uncomfortable during a lap dance, you can always say, “I am uncomfortable. Please stop,” and leave.^{[8]
X
Research source}
- In such a situation, you should still pay for the lap dance, even though you interrupted it.
9
Leave a tip of at least 10 percent after receiving the lap dance. If you really enjoyed yourself, you could tip more than 10 percent. Do not tip less than 10 percent, since doing so would be considered impolite.^{[9]
X
Research source}
10
Don’t get too drunk. It’s okay to drink alcohol at the strip club. It’s even okay to get drunk. However, if you are so intoxicated that you begin engaging in aggressive or bothersome behavior, the lap dancer and club staff will not appreciate it.
- If you’re excessively drunk, leave the strip club and sober up before getting a lap dance.

Method 2

Method 2 of 3:

Dressing Appropriately

1
Wear soft pants. When your lap dancer rubs against you, rough cloth could cause their skin to chafe. Khakis or pants of a similar level of softness are your best bet. Avoid rough pants made of denim or anything with a similar texture.^{[10]
X
Research source}
2
Dress well. Men should put on a nice button-down shirt, a tie, and (if the strip club is relatively fancy) even a formal jacket. Women should wear dresses, a luxurious necklace and/or earrings, and heels. Dressing with style and class will attract the finest strippers’ attention and make them want to give the lap dance their best effort.^{[11]
X
Research source}
3
Don’t wear big belt buckles. A large belt buckle could catch the dancer’s clothing or scrape against their skin. Choose for smaller belt buckles, or, if possible, leave your belt at home.^{[12]
X
Research source}
4
Practice good hygiene. A lap dance is a very intimate experience. If you smell bad or if you are not clean, the dancer will be distracted and reluctant to deliver their best performance. Take a shower and apply deodorant before arriving at the club.^{[13]
X
Research source}

Method 3

Method 3 of 3:

Showing Respect for the Club

1
Don’t jump or dance on stage. Some strip club patrons think it would be fun to join the dancers on stage or take a swing on the pole. However, this behavior will only irritate the strippers, and could result in you getting ejected from the club.
2
Pay attention to the show. If you are on your phone for long periods of time, the strippers will not appreciate it. Focus on the dancers and the show, and limit your distractions by, for instance, turning your phone off and engaging in minimal conversation (especially when you’re close to the stage).^{[14]
X
Research source}
3
Don’t flirt aggressively with other customers. The strippers, not you, should be the center of attention. While some subtle flirting might go unnoticed, aggressive flirting (such as grabbing another customer’s body or proposing to them that you would like to move to another venue) will not be appreciated.

Community Q&A

Question

How do you use protection?

Claire Compton

Community Answer

A lap dance is not sex, so there is no need for protection. You will remain fully clothed, although the stripper may not. In many places, prostitution is illegal and requesting intercourse from a stripper may get you kicked out or even banned.