How to Dance Sexily

Co-authored by William Orrock

Last Updated: August 20, 2022 References

Dancing is a fun way to express your sensuality. Those who dance well are often considered to make good lovers. Not everyone feels comfortable dancing, but with a bit of practice anyone can create their own sexy dancing style. It's an experience you deserve to enjoy when seeking to attract someone new or turn on a person you already love on the dance floor.

Part 1

Part 1 of 4:

Learning Some Sexy Moves

1
Move your hips. This is a large part of sensual dancing and are important for both men and women. There are no set rules for this, but you want the movements to be fluid and seem easy. A good way to accomplish this is to imagine that you are hula hooping in slow motion. Here are some other tips for you to try:^{[1]
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- Keep your weight on the balls of your feet to get move control over your movements. To build more range, bend your knees slightly inward and roll to the insides of your feet.
- You can get better at rolling your hips by practicing slowly a figure 8 motion.
- Keep your hip rotations between the width of your shoulders and more side to side.
- Exaggerate your motions by alternating which leg is straight and which leg is bent. Give visual variety to your dance by alternating between fast and slow motions.
- If you want to get even raunchier and stand out, you can try popular sexy dances like twerking, which involves bending over to shake your hips and backside.
2
Keep your arms loose and comfortable, not stiff. You can put your arms into any position you want, but keep them slightly bent at the elbow. This will give them a loose, comfortable, natural feel. Don't make them stiff or rigid. Here are some more tips:
- If you want to show off your chest, keep your arms slightly behind your body.
- Don't forget your hands! Hold them in a relaxed, almost closed position, like holding a downy feather you don't want to crumple.
- Move your arms back and forth to the music. You can also run your hands along the sides of your body or comb them through your hair.
- For sexy dancing in a club setting, you should put your arms above your head, behind your head, at the level of your chest, or at your side.
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3
Keep your face relaxed, but expressive. You don't want a neutral, boring, lifeless expression, but at the same time, you don't want to force a rigid smile either. Try doing some facial exercises first to loosen up, then feel the music in your heart, and let it show in your face. Consider practicing in a mirror or webcam.
- A fake smile is obvious, and the key to making it appear natural is in your eyes; they will squint slightly. Think of something happy, smile, and look in a mirror to observe.
- Release the tension in your jaw. Hold your mouth slightly parted in a comfortable pout. The edges of your mouth should be just barely upturned.
- Make eye contact with people you find attractive, then cast your eyes down after a few seconds while still dancing. This makes you seem mysterious and desirable.
4
Dance close to other people. Move as if you are unaware of anything but your dancing, while moving closer to the person you want to dance with, one step at a time. Begin to brush up against this person slightly as you are dancing. If they don’t move away, begin to grind against them more intentionally.
- If you're grinding behind them, lightly place your hands on their hips as you dance.
- If you're grinding in front, keep your arms next to you or reach up behind you and put them around your partners neck.
- Always gauge how the other person is responding to you. If they move away, you should as well.
5
Find your personal go-to sexy moves. Dancing is a lot like a puzzle, a series of small moves that flow together to make something awesome. Have a few great puzzle pieces up your sleeve that you feel comfortable doing.
- Focus on the parts of your body you want to accentuate. For example, if you want to accentuate your rear, you’ll want to focus especially on large hip movements.
- Practice your expression, and decide where you like to hold your arms when you dance.
6
Learn a sexy ballroom dance. Even if it's not the kind of dancing you'll do at a party or a club, this will give you some moves you can transfer into other situations. More importantly, it'll give you a boost of confidence and coordination.^{[2]
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- Some sexy dances include the tango, samba and salsa from Latin America or belly dancing, of Middle Eastern origins.
- You can learn dances from videos, but physical classes would be better, especially if you plan on dancing with other people.
- Check the calendar sections of local community papers. Often, these will list free or inexpensive dance classes at local community centers, restaurants, or bars.

Part 2

Part 2 of 4:

Becoming a Confident Dancer

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Make a playlist with good beats and sexy lyrics. The songs can be either fast or slow in tempo.^{[3]
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Research source} If you don’t want to create your own mix, you can find premade club playlists on music platforms like Spotify or LastFM.
- For club style music, listen for a steady, loud drum beat in the background of the music that makes you want to tap your foot. Listen to pop artists like Beyoncé or techno remixes.
- For more sensual music, listen to jazz standards with vocals or R&B artists.
- If you want to do a Latin style of dancing, listen to Spanish pop music. If you don’t speak Spanish, the foreign language can make it seem even more exotic.
2
Set a time for practice. Like any skill, becoming a good dancer takes consistency. Make it a habitual part of your every day routine.^{[4]
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- Start at a set time each day, and commit to dancing by yourself for 20 minutes.
- Make your playlist exactly 20 minutes long. That way, you’ll know when you’re done by the music, and you won’t have to time yourself.
- Listening to the same playlist every time you practice can help make you more comfortable dancing sexily.
3
Set the mood for your practice session. Close your door, dim your lights, and light a few candles. Swipe on some lipstick, if you want. Use the best sound system you have. If you’re practicing in a place where people can hear, use headphones.^{[5]
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- Let yourself get carried away in the music. Don’t worry about specific moves or how you look. Close your eyes or focus on the lyrics of each song instead.
- Remember that you’re your biggest critic. If you work on letting go while you practice, it will be easier to let go in a social setting.
4
Stay fit. If you feel great about your body, you’ll feel sexier, and you’ll be able to keep up on the dance floor. Try doing workouts at home specifically designed to help you become a better dancer, like a ballet bar routine or a yoga class.
- If you don’t have time for a full work out, try just doing a few squats, push ups, and sit ups right when you get up in the morning.

Part 3

Part 3 of 4:

Getting in the Mood to Dance Sexily

1
Pick comfortable, sexy clothes. Before you go out dancing, choose the right outfit. You want to wear something that accentuates your best features but doesn’t make you uncomfortable.
- Choose a favorite outfit or something your feel comfortable in. You don’t want to be worrying about your clothes while you are dancing. Try something tight or slightly shorter than you normally go for, but only if you are comfortable. Remember, you can be sexy in a crop top and shorts, but you can also be sexy in sweatpants and a hoodie.
- Wear black if you have a fashion block. It will make you feel put together and suave and will ease your self-consciousness.^{[6]
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- You can dress it up with statement jewelry and bright shoes.
2
Dress up your outfit with shoes and accessories. Statement jewelry, such as large hoop earrings or a blingy necklace can take a simple outfit to the next level. They will also catch the lighting and sparkle as you dance. When it comes to shoes, however, be sure to wear something that you can dance in.
- High heels can look sexy, but if you don't feel comfortable in them, or if you have trouble dancing in them, stick with flats.
- If you’re male, switch up your shoes. Instead of dress shoes, wear sneakers like Vans or Converse. They'll be more comfortable and give you a casual, fun look.
3
Take time to groom. You want to look flawless and put together on your night out. As you are getting ready, allot more time than usual to take a shower and clean up.
- Trim any facial hair. Shave and moisturize, if you want.
- Brush your hair, and style it. Keep it in place with some hair spray.
- Put on a splash of your favorite cologne or perfume.
- If you normally wear makeup, try a smoky eye or add a bold color to your lips.^{[7]
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4
Try to relax. Having a bit of fun before you go dancing can help put you in the right mindset. Listen to upbeat music that you love, and move while you get ready, even if it’s just dancing from your chair while you do your hair.
- If you’re of legal age, have a drink. A drink or two before you go out can give you that little extra confidence boost you need to just let go and have fun.
- Spend some time with friends beforehand, or go to the dance with them. Your friends can help set you at ease.

Part 4

Part 4 of 4:

Going Out Dancing

1
Go to a new spot. If you're nervous about what people will think of you, consider just taking one friend and going to a place outside of your usual sphere so that the people you're dancing around are mostly people you don't know.
- In a new crowd, no one will find it strange that you’re dancing sexily.
- A change in setting can help you feel free to change up your style and let yourself go.
2
Say yes to dancing with people. As you dance, make eye contact with people you find attractive. If they approach you, get slightly closer to them. If you don’t want to dance with someone, you can always say no thank you and move away.
- If no one, asks you to dance, ask them. Even if you’re shy, you’ll be glad you did.^{[8]
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- Mirror the movements of the person you’re dancing with. Try to react to how they’re moving so that you are in sync with them.
- Don’t be afraid to put your hands around their neck and dance up close and personal.
3
Feel the music. Good dancing rises from the heart. Let rhythm guide your movements. If you don’t like a song or can’t hear the beat, don’t feel like you have to dance. You’ll feel more confident dancing to songs that you like.^{[9]
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4
Take a deep breath. More than anything, relaxation is key to feeling––and looking––sexy on the dance floor. Slow down, relax, and let your body move to the music.
5
Stay aware of your surroundings. When dancing, be aware of others around you. Most places may be packed but that shouldn't stop you from dancing sexily. Try not to bump into others unintentionally.
- When you’re dancing with a partner, keep track of how they are dancing, and where their feet and arms are.
- Try to slip your hands around your partner’s waist or neck.
6
Express yourself. If you dance like yourself, you’re bound to look sexy. Above all, remember that you want to have a good time. Even if you feel a little awkward, smile. If you make a small mistake or trip, laugh out loud about it. The ability to laugh at yourself makes you sexier.
- A happy face and genuine laughter also makes you much more approachable to people that might want to dance with you.
- Don’t go over the top, however; be respectful of others' space.
- Don't be afraid to imitate. If you see someone across the dance floor dancing really well, feel free to try imitating some of their moves.