14 Ways to Become a Person Everyone Wants to Know

Co-authored by Elle Monus and Hannah Madden

Last Updated: November 16, 2022 References Approved

You’ve seen them before: the person that everyone wants to know. They’re charming, likable, and all-around a fun person—but how did they get that way? In this article, we’ll tell you exactly how you can shift your body language and your conversation skills to win people over. With these helpful tips, you can make yourself into someone that everyone wants to know.

1

Make eye contact.

Making eye contact makes you appear confident and happy. When you talk to people, look them in the eyes and try to hold their gaze. You’d be surprised at how big of a difference this one simple thing makes!^{[1]
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- Feeling a little awkward about making eye contact right away? Try looking at someone’s forehead instead. It’s not quite the same, but it will get you into the habit without jumping in head first.

2

Smile at people.

Smiles make you look likable and more attractive. Plus, they make people feel more comfortable around you. When you’re meeting new people or talking with others, keep a smile on your face as much as you can.^{[2]
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- Plus, smiling makes you look more approachable, too. When’s the last time you approached a stranger who looked mad or angry? Smiling makes it much more likely that people will strike up conversations with you in the street.

3

Hold your head up and your chin high.

Practice good posture to show how confident you are. Stand up straight and roll your shoulders back so you don’t slouch. Having good posture shows that you’re secure with yourself, and it makes you look more approachable, too.^{[3]
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- Even if you don’t feel like the most confident person in the room, fake it until you make it!

4

Practice open body language.

Uncross your arms to show that you want to chat with people. When you cross your arms or face away from others, you’re subconsciously telling them that you don’t want to be bothered. Instead, keep your arms down by your side and face toward people when they’re talking. That way, they understand that you’re happy to be in conversation with them.^{[4]
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HelpGuide
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- Open body language also makes you appear more confident, which will draw people toward you.

5

Listen to people when they talk.

Remove distractions so people know you’re paying attention.^{[5]
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Expert Source

Elle Monus
Image Consultant
Expert Interview. 7 September 2021.} Put away your phone and look people in the eye when they talk. Not only is it polite, but active listening will make the people around you feel like you truly want to get to know them.^{[6]
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Edutopia
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- You can also ask follow up questions to show that you’re listening. Try saying things like, “Interesting, can you tell me more?”

6

Call people by their name.

Say people’s names so they know you remember them. When you meet someone for the first time, try saying it back to them, like, "Hello, Joe, good to meet you." When you see a friend or an acquaintance you don’t know too well, greet them by name to show them they left an impression on you. It will make them feel good, which in turn makes you look good, too.^{[7]
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- Trouble remembering someone’s name? Remember it by repeating it out loud and then writing it down.^{[8]
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7

Compliment people.

Give people compliments so they like being around you. Everyone likes to hear nice things about themselves! Pick out something you really like about someone, and then let them know. It doesn’t have to be about their physical appearance—compliment their personality or how they act to really make them happy.^{[9]
X
Research source} Just make sure your compliments are sincere so they don’t come off as fake. Great compliments include:
- “You have the best sense of humor! You always know how to make me laugh.”
- “Your sense of style is off the charts. I look forward to seeing your outfits every day.”
- “What a ray of sunshine you are! You really light up a room.”

8

Connect over common interests.

People like other people who have similar hobbies. When you’re chatting with someone new or you’re talking to a friend, try to see if you two like any of the same things. It could be something you do on the weekends, books you like to read, or even movies you enjoy. The more you have in common, the more you two will have to talk about.^{[10]
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- Try asking open-ended questions to find out what the other person likes, such as, “What did you get up to last week?” or, “What’s the last movie you saw in theaters?”

9

Follow up on old conversations.

Show people that you remember what you two talked about last time. If you know a friend had a big exam last week, ask them how it went. If your coworker was up for a promotion, see how the interview process went. People love it when you remember little details about them, and it will make them like you even more.^{[11]
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10

Be humble about your accomplishments.

Bragging tends to push people away from you. While it’s great if you have accompaniments or awards, try to be humble about them instead of talking about them all the time. If someone asks, you can absolutely talk about what you’ve got going on—otherwise, keep your achievements on the down-low.^{[12]
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11

Keep a positive attitude.

People love being around others who can find a silver lining. Complaining tends to push people away from you—unfortunately, it can paint you in a negative light. Try to look on the bright side of things, and keep your head up. You'll be happier, and more people will want to be around you.^{[13]
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- Plus, being positive is actually better for your mental health, too.

12

Try new things.

Don’t be afraid to take a leap out of your comfort zone. If you’re constantly open to do new things or try new experiences, people will look forward to being around you. Your fun-loving attitude and your willingness to be uncomfortable will make you a likable person.^{[14]
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- Plus, stepping outside of your comfort zone will make you a happier person overall!

13

Be your most authentic self.

People will be able to spot if you aren’t being genuine. Plus, most people appreciate when a person is being honest, even if you have some quirks. As you focus on becoming a person that everyone likes, don’t forget to keep living your most authentic life, too.^{[15]
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Elle Monus
Image Consultant
Expert Interview. 7 September 2021.}
- Try to be as much of an open book as possible. If you’re honest about your thoughts and feelings, people will enjoy talking to you much more.

14

Practice gratitude.

Be thankful for small things to love your life a little more. When you love your life, it shows the people around you that you're happy and confident, which will draw them in. Try keeping a gratitude journal where you write down 2 to 3 things you’re thankful for every day.^{[16]
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Trustworthy Source
Greater Good Magazine
Journal published by UC Berkeley's Greater Good Science Center, which uses scientific research to promote happier living
Go to source} You might include things like:
- “I woke up in time to see the sunrise today.”
- “The coffee I bought from the cafe down the street tasted amazing.”
- “I got to talk to my mom on the phone today.”