How to Be the "It" Girl in Middle School

Last Updated: November 18, 2022

You want to be that girl who has a million friends, a hot boyfriend, and is super smart. That girl whose life seems perfect. That girl who has everything any girl could ever wish for. This article will turn you into that girl.

Method 1

Method 1 of 3:

Looking Your Best

1
Always have good hygiene! Being hygienic is the first step towards looking and feeling good.
- Consider shaving and plucking hair. This optional step can help prevent excess sweating.
- Shower every 1-2 days. Most girls shower daily in middle school. You should shower if you feel gross or your hair is oily, because it might mean you're smelly too.
- Wash your face using facial soap so it doesn't clog your pores. If you struggle with acne, try a special soap or face wipe.
- Wear deodorant every day. You can try a little perfume, but don't wear too much or it will bother people.
2
Start small with makeup if you're interested in it. Some girls start experimenting with makeup in middle school. If you're new to makeup, keep it natural at first. Other girls prefer not to mess with makeup. You can look pretty either way.
- If you try foundation, make sure it matches your skin color, and blend it carefully. If they don't have your color but have both a darker and a lighter color, then buy both and mix them together.
- For lipstick and lip gloss, start with something close to your natural lip color.
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3
Play with your hair a little. Try messing with braids, ponytails, and accessories. This can be a fun way to experiment with your style. If you need ideas, try looking for tutorials online.
4
Dress nicely. Try picking clothes in colors that enhance your complexion. Pick clothes that are clean and well-fitting.
- Try learning the basics of how to match colors. Learning a little color theory can help you pick fun outfits.
- To look extra stylish, try pairing a loose piece of clothing with something tight. For example, you might wear a tighter top with a loose skirt and jacket.
5
Take care of yourself. Self-care is critical for looking good. Do what you can to keep yourself healthy and rested. The better you feel, the easier it will be to connect with people.
- Stay hydrated for better skin and health.
- Try to fill at least 1/3 of your plate with fruits and vegetables. A plant-based diet is good for you, so consider cutting back on meat and dairy.
- Limit your desserts to something small once a day. Try eating it slowly so you can savor it more.
- Exercise for a healthy glow. Find a few types of exercise you really enjoy. Try taking walks with friends or family regularly.
- Get lots of sleep. Your body and brain need rest to grow, so get 8-10 hours of sleep every night. Following a routine can help. This will help boost your mood and your brainpower too.
6
Avoid bad habits. Sleeplessness, drugs, alcohol, and other bad habits can harm your beauty and your health.
- Don't start relying on caffeine, especially at such a young age. If you're having trouble waking up in the morning, that means you aren't going to bed early enough.
- Don't start smoking or vaping. It's hard to be pretty if you and your clothes smell bad, and you can get health problems.
- Remember that marijuana is a drug too. You could face serious side effects, especially since you're still young and growing. Getting high can also make you do foolish things, and in the age of social media videos, those bad decisions can stick with you for a long time.

Method 2

Method 2 of 3:

Being Friendly

1
Say nice things to other people. Most of all, people love to be treated well. Give people sincere compliments and be understanding to them when they stumble. People really remember those things. It makes them like you.
- When your friends are talking about someone else, choose your words kindly. Don't say anything that you wouldn't be okay with that person hearing.
- If you're mad, walk away before you say something you'd regret.
2
Be interested, not interesting. You can be the most interesting person in the world and have nobody like you. Instead, show interest in other people to make them happy. People love to talk about themselves and their favorite things. Ask questions.
- Taking a genuine interest in other people will give you and aura of approachability and make it easier to connect with people.
3
Ask for advice. People love to give advice because it makes them important. If you're unsure about something, or if you don't really care about the outcome, ask someone else what they think you should do. This makes them feel special.
4
Validate people's feelings often. Instead of telling people to stop being sad, try telling them it's okay to be sad. When people come to you with their feelings, they want to feel like you understand them. Here are some examples of things that can help people feel better.
- "I'm sorry to hear you're going through that."
- "That sounds really difficult."
- "Of course you felt nervous. Lots of people have trouble going up on stage like that."
- "I'm here for you."
5
Treat everyone with respect, even if you don't like them or agree with them. This includes older people like parents and teachers. However things go, speak to them with respect. This is a sign of maturity and it really impresses people.
- Skip bad habits like name-calling, needless arguing, and saying bad things about people behind their backs.
- If someone's behavior really bothers you, talk to them respectfully using "I" language to describe your feelings. See if you can find a resolution together.
- If using "I" language doesn't work, then maybe you need help from an adult. Find a trusted adult and let them know what's going on. Ask them if they can help you fix it.
6
Only try dating if you're interested. If you haven't found the right significant other yet, then don't pressure yourself. Everyone starts on a different timeline (and a few people never do, which is okay too). You should only start dating someone if you really like them and think it would be fun.
- Don't let friends pressure you, either. If they ask, say "Nobody has caught my eye yet" or "I don't think I'm ready."
- Don't date someone who doesn't respect you. If your date pressures you, calls you names, or treats you like dirt, then dump them.
7
Do your best to keep a positive attitude. Try keeping a gratitude journal and work on maintaining perspective when things go wrong. Remind yourself of the good things in life, and enjoy them when they come. Life isn't all good, so focus on the good when it happens.
- Make time for things that make you smile, even if it's as simple as watching a cute puppy video before bed.
- Of course, nobody is happy all the time. When you're upset, try asking your friends if they can be there for you.

Method 3

Method 3 of 3:

Being Your Best

1
Do your best in school. If you work hard at school, people will think you have a bright future ahead of you. Stay awake and alert in class, and try to raise your hand often. (Most teachers love students who raise their hands, even if you don't always have the right answer.) Study for quizzes and tests.
- Try not to get anything lower than a C.
- If you're really struggling in school, don't keep it a secret. Instead, tell your teacher, family, or guidance counselor. Ask for help. They can help you make a plan.
2
Put time into your hobbies. Your hobbies will help you gain skills, and they also make you a little more interesting. Try joining a club or two related to the things you love. Make time to practice, either on your own or with friends.
3
Encourage other people to be their best. People don't just want to be impressed. They want other people to be impressed by them. Help your friends shine.

Community Q&A

Question

Is it normal to be scared of going to middle school?

Luna Rose

Top Answerer

It's totally normal! In fact, it's so normal that teachers expect some of their students to be nervous. Teachers do their best to help. The first few days are going to be easier because they just want you to get used to middle school. At my school, for the first few weeks, some teachers would walk students to their next classes in a group so that nobody got lost. Here's my biggest advice for you: always make sure to keep an extra pencil with extra paper, make a special homework folder to help you organize it, and remember that everyone else is new to this too. It's going to be a little confusing at first, but you'll get the hang of it.
Question

Do you have to be in middle school for this to work? I am 19.

Luna Rose

Top Answerer

A lot of these steps are good ideas no matter how old you are. Things like hygiene, friendliness, and good listening skills are still important. If you're in college, we have an article on being cool in college. If you're working, you might like to know how to get respect at work. Above all, take good care of yourself and treat other people well. This will make you more likable.
Question

How do you stay social when you don’t have a phone?

Luna Rose

Top Answerer

Chat with people during free time, such as on the bus, before class starts, or during lunch. (Don't talk when the teacher is teaching!) Try joining a club or a sports team to meet new people. You can also invite friends over to your house or visit friends' houses. It might seem odd today, but ten years ago, many kids your age didn't have phones and still led active social lives. Focus on the things you can do. Don't be afraid to ask to borrow a friend's or teacher's phone if you need to call or text to let your family know that you want to go visit a friend after school.

Warnings

Don't change yourself completely.

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Don't let rumors bother you.

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Stay within your comfort zone.

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And most importantly, be YOURSELF! Being an it-girl does not mean being popular and hot. Be who you want to be and don't let others bring you down.

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