This article was co-authored by JT Tran. JT Tran is a Dating Coach and a Dating Advice Columnist for LA Weekly and Baller Magazine. JT also runs the ABCs of Attraction, a dating boot camp where he specializes in coaching Asian men and women on how to navigate the cultural and social sensitivities associated with Asian dating culture. With over ten years of dating coaching experience, JT has presented dating and relationship advice as it relates to cultural issues at Harvard University, Yale University, and the Wharton School of Business at the University of Pennsylvania. His work has been featured in AsianWeek, New York, NU Asian Magazine, the Huffington Post, Channel News Asia, and Voice of America News TV.
There are 8 references cited in this article, which can be found at the bottom of the page.
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Asking your crush for their number can seem scary, but it doesn’t have to be! If you already have a good feeling about the conversation you’re having with your crush, you can easily ask them directly for their number using a choice of confident phrases. If you’re crushing on someone who you haven’t talked to much yet, there are ways to start a conversation with your crush. There are also more indirect, flirtatious ways to get your crush’s number.
Steps
Asking Directly
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1Smile and be confident. The most important thing when asking for a number is that you seem enthusiastic about the idea of calling your crush. Practice smiling and asking for your crush’s number in the mirror before you actually do it; this can help you work through your nervousness before you talk to them.[1]
- To appear more confident even if you’re not feeling confident, smile, stand up straight, and make eye contact with your crush when talking to them.
- If you know in advance you'll be asking your crush for their number, spend a little extra time getting ready so you'll feel more confident. You can also listen to music or dance to get yourself physically pumped up and excited.[2]
- Don't be afraid to be yourself. You're more likely to find success if you come across as honest and genuine than if you seem nervous or like you need your crush's approval.[3]
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2Ask “What’s your number?” as the simplest approach. If a conversation is going well, you can simply ask your crush for their number. This shows that you’re interested in talking to them more and you’re confident that they would want to give their number to you.[4]
- Have your phone or a pen out and ready when you ask; this shows that you have no doubt about your crush giving you their number.
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3Try “I have to go but I’d like to talk more. You should give me your number.” This approach lets the person know directly that you want to talk to them again, and also that you’re busy and organized. Have your phone or a pen ready to get their number quickly.[5]
- Text your crush right after you part ways. Say, “It’s me! Save my number.”
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4Say, “Let’s exchange numbers” if you mentioned plans or interests. This approach works best if the conversation headed toward things you both like to do or an event you both were going to. For example, you mention a party and your crush says they also want to go. You can say, “Let’s exchange numbers, maybe we can go together.”[6]
- Follow up with your crush soon after this conversation by texting them “Looking forward to that party” or something similar.
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5Give them your number first if you’re too nervous to ask for theirs. Say, “I’d like to talk to you more, let me give you my number.” This works well if your crush has their phone out already; you can hold your hand out as you say “let me give you my number” to enter your number in their phone for them.[7]
- Don’t grab your crush’s phone from their hand; this may come across as aggressive. If your crush seems reluctant to hand over their phone, just wait for them to respond. They will probably look down at their phone as they type and let you know when they’re ready for the number. If you do grab their phone, they might feel threatened or forced into the relationship.
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6Smile and say “no problem” if they say no. Always remember that you want to date someone who’s interested in you, and if your crush isn’t, it’s better for you to know and move on. Don’t ask them again or try to pressure them, cry, or look embarrassed. Even if you feel embarrassed, try to shrug it off as no big deal.[8]
- Try not to worry much about being rejected. It happens to people all the time, and you will eventually find someone who is interested in you.
Starting a Conversation
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1Give them a genuine compliment before asking for their number. A great way to get your crush’s attention is by complimenting them. Tell them you like something that they’re wearing or something they did, then say something else to give them the chance to respond. If your conversation goes well, ask for their number at the end of it or next time you see them.[9]
- For example, say “I like those shoes a lot – my brother probably would too. Where’d you get them?”
- Or try, “You did a great job on that project. I can tell you worked hard on it. Maybe you can give me some pointers on public speaking sometime.”
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2Ask them to help you with something then ask for their number. This works well if you see someone out in public who you’d like to talk to. Get their attention by asking for directions or help getting something from a shelf. Try, “Excuse me, could you tell me how to get to the library?” or “Are you able to reach this for me?” After they help you, thank them and try starting another conversation and asking for their number if they seem interested in you.[10]
- If the person avoids you or helps you quickly then walks away, thank them and then leave them alone. Do not follow a person in public, or they may think you are harassing them.
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3Plan a study date so you have to exchange numbers. If your crush is someone that you go to school with or work with, let them know you’d like to spend more time with them by arranging a study date. Say, “It seems like you know a lot about this topic. Want to come over after school to talk about it more?”[11]
- If they seem interested in studying with you, mention a certain time and place to meet, and ask for their number so you can stay in touch about the meeting.
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4Invite them to do something they’re interested in so they give you their number. If you know that your crush plays a certain sport or instrument, or likes a certain type of music, bring the topic up with them when you see them. Tell them about a game or concert that’s happening and ask if they’d like to go with you. Or if you can’t pay for tickets, invite them to play the sport with you, go on a bike ride, or go to a music store with you.[12]
- If they seem interested in your idea, ask for their number so you can make further plans.
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5Read their signals. When having a conversation with your crush, it’s important to watch for signs that they’re interested in you. If they smile, make eye contact, and answer your questions enthusiastically, these are all signs that they are possibly interested in exchanging numbers.[13]
- On the other hand, if your crush avoids eye contact, tries to walk away or look away from you, or doesn’t answer you or gives one-word responses, these are all signals that they may not be interested, unfortunately. Don’t appear desperate or needy, and back off.
Flirting to Get a Number
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1Call or text yourself from their phone. If you’ve already established a good rapport with your crush, you can playfully reach for their phone when they have it out. When you do this, say, “I’m giving you my number. We should hang out sometime,” so they don’t think you’re just trying to creep or be nosy on their phone.[14]
- Once your crush has your number, they’ll give you their number by calling or texting you if they’re interested.
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2Make flirty comments on social media. Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, and Snapchat are all ways to get your crush’s attention that aren’t as direct as asking for their number in person. Send them a friend or follow request and start liking their posts. Gradually leave compliments and nice comments on their posts to establish a good rapport.[15]
- If your crush starts liking and leaving nice comments back on your social media posts, it’s possible that they’re interested in you and you can confidently ask for their number.
- Leave them a direct message on whatever app you’ve been connecting on. Ask if they’d like to get together in person sometime, and if so, if you can have their number to text them.
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3Write your number on a napkin or comment card. If your crush works at a restaurant or other public place, you can flirtatiously express your interest in them by giving them your number on a napkin or comment card. Be sure to leave your name with the number. If they’re interested, all you have to do is wait for their call or text.[16]
Sample Ways to Ask for Their Number
References
- ↑ https://theartofcharm.com/flirting-and-attraction/ask-number/
- ↑ JT Tran. Dating Coach. Expert Interview. 5 May 2020.
- ↑ JT Tran. Dating Coach. Expert Interview. 5 May 2020.
- ↑ https://theartofcharm.com/flirting-and-attraction/ask-number/
- ↑ https://theartofcharm.com/flirting-and-attraction/ask-number/
- ↑ https://theartofcharm.com/flirting-and-attraction/ask-number/
- ↑ https://lovebondings.com/how-to-start-texting-conversation-with-your-crush
- ↑ https://lovebondings.com/how-to-start-texting-conversation-with-your-crush
- ↑ https://lovebondings.com/how-to-start-texting-conversation-with-your-crush
- ↑ https://www.seventeen.com/love/dating-advice/advice/g473/crazy-ways-to-get-numbers/?slide=14
- ↑ https://www.seventeen.com/love/dating-advice/advice/g473/crazy-ways-to-get-numbers/?slide=3
- ↑ https://lovebondings.com/how-to-start-texting-conversation-with-your-crush
- ↑ https://theartofcharm.com/flirting-and-attraction/ask-number/
- ↑ https://www.seventeen.com/love/dating-advice/advice/g473/crazy-ways-to-get-numbers/?slide=9
- ↑ https://www.seventeen.com/love/dating-advice/advice/g473/crazy-ways-to-get-numbers/?slide=2
- ↑ https://www.seventeen.com/love/dating-advice/advice/g473/crazy-ways-to-get-numbers/?slide=4
- ↑ JT Tran. Dating Coach. Expert Interview. 5 May 2020.
- ↑ https://theartofcharm.com/flirting-and-attraction/ask-number/
About This Article
Asking your crush for their cell phone number can seem scary, but if you're friendly and positive, they'll be more likely to give it to you. Start a conversation with your crush about something else before you ask for their number so you don't catch them off-guard. Talk about something you have in common, like a class or mutual friends. You can also compliment them first to get them in a good mood. Then, say something like, “I have to get going, but I’d love to talk more. Can I get your number?” Alternatively, offer them your phone number first if that feels more comfortable. That way, it’s up to them if they give you their number back. If they say no, just say, “No problem. I’ll see you around then.” For more tips, including how to flirt with your crush on social media, read on!