How to Act Around Your Crush

Co-authored by Imad Jbara

Last Updated: October 27, 2022

Ah, a crush. It's nice to have them, but it can be nerve-wracking as anything when you're around them. If you're crushing hard on someone, you can learn to put yourself at ease so you can be as natural and comfortable as possible, and make your conversations flow more spontaneously. Learn to start good conversations, talk comfortably with your crush, and let your friendship blossom.

Part 1

Part 1 of 3:

Being Comfortable

1
Dress in flattering clothes that make you feel comfortable. You should always wear what you feel comfortable in, don't just wear something to impress you crush or fit in. Wear clean clothes that make you look your best if you know you're going to be around your crush.
- Just dress naturally. Some people might get intimidated if you try getting really dressed up around your crush. You want to act naturally and be yourself, not like you're something you're not.
- Focus more on clothes that help you feel confident. If you want to impress your crush, you'll do it with your personality, not with your shirt. Make sure your clothes fit well, are clean, and make you feel good.
2
Check your breath. If you're going to be around your crush, bad breath could be a turnoff. Make sure that you brush regularly, especially after meals, and keep some mints, gum, or other little fresheners around in case you need them.
- Breath strips act quickly and are easy to carry around in your pocket, so you don't have to be chewing gum constantly while you're trying to flirt.
- Check in the mirror after meals to make sure you don't have anything stuck in your teeth. That could be embarrassing after the fact.
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3
Groom yourself regularly. Again, you don't need to be a movie star to attract your crush or to act naturally around them, but it's a whole lot easier to be relaxed and confident around someone if you're not worried about the smell you're putting off. Shower regularly and take care of basic body stuff so you can feel confident.
- If you have acne problems, talk to your parents and your doctor about prescription solutions. There are lots of stronger medicated facial soaps out there to try. Don't suffer in silence.
- Put some thought into your hair and basic grooming. You don't need to be glammed up all the time, but don't look like you just rolled out of bed.
4
Try to learn as much as you can about your crush. Hanging around someone you're attracted to can be hard if you don't know much about them. You might want to impress them, or come off like an attractive and interesting person, but what do they think is attractive? What do they think is interesting? The more you know the answers to these questions, the more comfortable you can be.
- Get to know them on social networking first. Reach out on Facebook or Twitter and become friends, or start following them on Instagram to get some sense of their sense of humor and style.
- Talk to mutual friends to find out things like whether or not your crush has a partner already, or whether or not your crush might be interested. It's a lot easier to chat up someone who you think might like you.
5
Hang out in a group at first. One-on-one hangouts can be challenging. If you're trying to hang out with someone, do it in a group, so your crush can see how you act naturally around your friends, instead of trying to do it all at once.
- Invite your crush to hang out with your friends, or just to sit with your friends at lunch. There doesn't need to be a reason.
- Alternatively, you might feel more comfortable hanging out one-on-one. If you do, try to find reasons to hang out with your crush solo, even in a non-date type of situation. Just try sitting together on the bus, or working on homework together, or sitting together at lunch.
6
Talk less to keep some mystery about yourself. Lots of people make the mistake of thinking that you need to talk a lot and make a big show if you want to attract someone's attention. Not necessarily the case. Hang back a little and make your contributions magnetic and more meaningful when you do talk.^{[1]
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Research source}
- Talk more quietly, so everyone else needs to quiet down when you speak. Turn to your crush and lean in when you have something to say. Make it meaningful. It'll be mysterious and personal.
- Your crush might be attracted to more flamboyant, loud, or chatty people, and that's ok. That doesn't mean you need to change who you are to attract them, or get to know them better.

Part 2

Part 2 of 3:

Starting Conversations

1
Start slowly by saying hello regularly. It's important to let your crush know that you exist, and that you like talking to them. When you see your crush walking down the hallway at school, or passing them in public, smile brightly, wave your hand, and say hi. Use their name out loud. This little gesture goes a long way in making someone feel valued and wanted.
- This isn't a sign that you're crushing on someone, it's just a sign that you're nice. If you see someone you like, say hello.
2
Make eye contact. When you like someone, making eye contact can do more than a couple thousand words and a bunch of love letters. When you're hanging out, or having a conversation, make eye contact and use gentle body language to seem more approachable.
- Use open body language around your crush, keeping your shoulders back and your arms uncrossed.
- Don't stare at someone you like. Catching someone's eye and smiling is one thing, but gawking at someone you think is attractive during class will just come across as creepy.
3
Keep your conversations short, at first. When you're first getting to know your crush a little better, try to keep your interactions brief to avoid any awkwardness or difficulty in talking. Just chat up someone about the class you just had, or have a brief talk about your weekend plans, then say, "Well, nice talking. See you later."
- Don't worry too much about having really deep or interesting conversations. It'll happen as you get to know someone better, which takes time. Nobody has great conversations at first. Give them a chance.
4
Find something you have in common. Don't know what to talk about? Try to figure out something that you have in common and can share together. Talk about a class you've got together, or an assignment, or talk about an upcoming sports event at your school. Find something you can shoot the breeze about.
- Don't think too hard. If you live in the same town or go to the same school, you've automatically got a little in common. Talk about your neighborhood. Gossip about common friends. Complain about teachers.
- Online is a great way to find out simple things like this. If you know your crush watches a certain show that you like, talk about the last episode, or your favorite characters, or what you think is going to happen next.
5
Ask for help with something. One good short-cut to starting a conversation is to ask your crush if they'll help you do something. Ask for a hand with some homework assignment you're working on, or ask for some help setting something up in gym class. Even if you're fine on your own, it'll be a chance to have some time to talk.
- Go with a little white lie if you need to: "Have you seen my math book over here? I just had it, and I can't find it. Will you help me look?" Then chat while you try to find it. When you never can, say, "That's ok, you're so sweet for helping. I like talking to you!"

Part 3

Part 3 of 3:

Knowing What to Say

1
Let your sense of humor shine through. If you want to get to know someone better, and maybe even get them to like you, it's a good idea to let your sense of humor out as much as possible. Laughter is infectious, and people like being around people who are funny. Even if you're not a class clown, you can still have funny conversations with your crush.
- Don't say, "Hey, how's it going?" That's a boring conversation to start. Instead, say, "I'm thinking of busting out of this prison. So far all I've got is a calculator and half a Snickers. What do you think? Can I count on you? You're not going to tell the cops, right?"
- If your crush says something like, "You're weird," then you know they're a boring or stuck-up person. Don't waste your time getting to know people who don't share your sense of humor.
2
Be a tease. Some studies show that gentle teasing can cause magnetic reactions in people, causing our brains to attract where we might naturally reject.^{[2]
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Research source} People don't want to be put on pedestals and complimented all the time. This is boring.^{[3]
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Research source} This is also while lots of "nice" people are rejected by crushes who are looking for something more interesting. That doesn't mean you should be a jerk, just that you should learn to let your sense of humor out in gentle ways.
- If you see your crush put up a bunch of selfies on Facebook, tease them about them. "Ok, there are a lot of these, so I'm going to help you rate them one by one, in terms of what it looks like you're thinking. This one says, "Oh, wow, my room smells like corn-dogs."
3
Ask interesting questions. People like for conversation to be easy. If you want to put your crush at ease and get them talking, asking creative, engaging, or even silly questions is the way to go. Treat it like a fun conversation game.
- "Say this is your last day on earth. Where do you go to first? What do you eat? What do you do? Who do you hang out with? What's on the iPod?"
- It's important to avoid prying or coming off like you're insensitive. Don't ask questions that are none of your business, like, "Your dad doesn't look like he makes a lot of money, how is your family doing?"
4
Recall a previous conversation. Not sure what to talk about? Follow up on something that you already talked about. If your crush mentioned a big event one weekend, follow up and ask how it went the next time you see them. try to remember the things you talk about, so you'll have a store of new conversations to pick up on.
- If your crush mentioned a book, show, or movie last time that you were unfamiliar with, check it out and talk about it the next time you see each other. Be honest and offer your opinions.
5
Get to know your crush's friends. If you want to get to know your crush even better, it's important to engage with their group of friends. Treat your crush as a close friend, and try to hang out in your crush's circle of friends as much as possible.
- Invite your crush to hang out with you on group events as well. Try to get your crush to hang out in a group with your friends, so it'll be more comfortable and fun. Get to know your crush in a group.
- Find out what your crush likes, what your crush thinks is funny, and what your crush is like to be around. This can help make your conversations a lot more natural and fun.
- Lots of people talk about the "friend zone" being a bad idea for a potential date or relationship. If you like someone, it's good to get to know them, every time. Don't worry about befriending someone for a while before you get closer.

Expert Q&A
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Question

How do you talk to your crush?

Imad Jbara
Dating Coach
Imad Jbara is a Dating Coach for NYC Wingwoman LLC, a relationship coaching service based in New York City. 'NYC Wingwoman' offers matchmaking, wingwoman services, 1-on-1 Coaching, and intensive weekend bootcamps. Imad services 100+ clients, men and women, to improve their dating lives through authentic communication skills. He has a BA in Psychology from the University of Massachusetts Dartmouth.

Imad Jbara

Dating Coach

Expert Answer

Support wikiHow by unlocking this expert answer.

When you're talking with the person you're interested in, ask them questions to learn more about them, like what their favorite sports team is. You can also use this as an excuse to initiate physical contact. For example, if you find something that you agree on, use that as an opportunity to give them a hug!

Warnings

Something to watch out for is if you know that you're making it obvious that you have a crush on the person you like. It's okay to act normal around your crush, but not obsessive, and giggly all the time. That's just making it obvious you have a crush on that person.

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