This article was co-authored by Imad Jbara and by wikiHow staff writer, Madeleine Flamiano. Imad Jbara is a Dating Coach for NYC Wingwoman LLC, a relationship coaching service based in New York City. 'NYC Wingwoman' offers matchmaking, wingwoman services, 1-on-1 Coaching, and intensive weekend bootcamps. Imad services 100+ clients, men and women, to improve their dating lives through authentic communication skills. He has a BA in Psychology from the University of Massachusetts Dartmouth.
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If your friends have a unique sense of humor, they might toss the phrase “KMS” around. You’ll probably see it pop up on Snapchat, TikTok, Instagram, or WhatsApp when teens get really dramatic and say they’re fed up with life. This article will discuss the different reasons the people you talk to use “KMS” and share whether it’s a joke or a more serious matter. Read on so you can be there for the people you care about and decode what they’re saying when they include a “KMS” in their message.
If you or someone you know is having any suicidal thoughts, please seek immediate support and call emergency services or a crisis hotline.
Steps
What does KMS mean?
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1"KMS" is usually a joke that means “kill myself.”[1] “KMS” surfaced on Twitter as early as 2009, probably to capture a lot of emotions—like frustration or irritation—in 140 characters or less. Since then, “KMS” has now been adopted by teens as a silly or sarcastic way to be over-the-top. Typically, teens will use private platforms, like Snapchat, WhatsApp, or iMessage, to say “KMS” because their inner circle finds it funny.
- Some people might only say “KMS” to a very specific group of friends. For example, a girl might only message “KMS” to other teen girls that she’s known for a long time.
- If your friend finds a situation a little unlucky or inconvenient, they’ll say “KMS” to let off some steam.
- Your friend will probably talk about an everyday situation that annoys them a little but that they'll forget later.
- For example, they may say, "I can't believe 7/11 is out of Hot Cheetos. ❌ 🔥 KMS."
- If they’ve had a tiring day, they might comment, “Am I ever going to get sleep?! 😖 KMS.”
- If they’re feeling goofy, they may say something like, “You don’t follow me on IG?! KMS! 😜”
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2“KMS” is also sometimes shorthand for “killing me slowly.” Typically, teenagers use this phrase when they’re incredibly bored and feel that time isn’t going by quickly enough. Maybe they’re watching a show that’s really dragging or their teacher seems to be talking too long. If this is the case, people might say “KMS” to say they’re restless and a bit annoyed.
- When your friend uses “KMS” to say “kill me slowly,” they’ll usually use a dry, sarcastic tone in their texts and posts.
- For example, they may tell you, “When are the leads in this show going to kiss already? It’s taking forever. KMS.”
- If they’re frustrated with classes, they may say something like, “How much longer is this semester going to be? It feels like an eternity. KMS.”
- If they’re in a sillier mood, they might make a comment like, “So who’s your crush?! I’ve waited all day for your text. KMS.”
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3In rare but serious cases, "KMS" refers to suicide. Your friend or someone you know may say “KMS” as a call for help. When they use shorthand for “kill myself,” they don’t mean to be funny or they use jokes to cope with their suicidal ideations. In these situations, it’s important to intervene and support this person’s mental health.
- This individual might say "KMS" after describing their emotional pain and bring up crises that negatively affect them and impact their psychological well being.
- For example, the tone of their text will sound extremely sad. They might make a comment like, “I haven’t made any new friends since I’ve moved here. I feel so isolated. KMS.”
- They may also talk about ways to hurt themselves or say that they don't find meaning in life.
- An individual who has self-harmed may say something like, “Life feels so empty. Seriously. KMS.”
How do I know if KMS is a joke?
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1Your friend is playfully overreacting.[2] Their day had one small hiccup and wasn’t absolutely perfect, so now, they want to poke fun at that little annoyance. They’re probably hoping you’ll play along and tease them a little bit for being so dramatic.
- “I never asked the cute guy I met overseas for his number! KMS. 🥺😭”
- “I’m old enough to pay taxes now! 💸 KMS.”
- “My prom dress came today, but it’s the totally wrong color. KMS. 😡 📦”
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2Your buddy is just expressing what they dislike. They have strong opinions and they want you to know where they draw the line. “KMS” shows their level of disapproval so you can sympathize or rant with them.
- “My aunt convinced my mom that I should do chores. 🧹 KMS.”
- “KMS. I hate the actor they cast for my fave superhero. 👎🏽”
- “This coke is so flat. 🤢 KMS. I hate it.”
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3Someone is being sarcastic since they’re frustrated. They’ve hit a challenge or some trouble, so they use “KMS” as an opportunity to complain about their life. They probably just want some reassurance that their problem will blow over soon.
- “Wow. I’m ‘awesome’ at this game. 🙄 KMS.”
- “This assignment is so easy that I’m still up at 1 AM working on it. 😩 KMS.”
- “My little brother told my parents I was out past curfew. How fun! 🎉 KMS.”
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4A person simply had a really bad day. While life is generally going pretty well for them, they’ve had a string of bad luck or dealt with one incredibly unfortunate event. Reassure them that you’re around to talk and offer them some sympathy to cheer them up.
- “I totally messed up my 360 in front of the whole skate park. 🛹💥 KMS.”
- “I had so many quizzes today that I can’t think straight. 📚 😵💫 KMS.”
- “Burned a whole batch of brownies for my bf’s birthday. 🔥🚒 KMS.”
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5Someone is restless and impatient. They feel like they’ve had to wait a long time or that nothing interesting is happening right now. They’re also counting down the minutes until they can have fun again.
- “My mom dragged me to my sister’s recital. It’s three hours long. 😣 KMS.”
- “I have to watch three seasons of this show until it picks up, KMS. 🙄”
- “Three whole months until I graduate. ⏳ KMS…”
What are signs that “KMS” refers to self-harm or suicide?
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1The person has talked about suicide before. If they have discussed suicidal attempts or ideations in the past, then they are at risk and “KMS” indicates that they may still fixate on suicide-related thoughts.[3] Studies also suggest that people who suffer from suicidal ideation are more likely to make jokes about killing themselves—their humor is a cause for concern because it might be a way to express their struggles with mental health.[4] Consider these warning signs if they say “KMS”:[5]
- They’ve opened up about a condition such as depression or anxiety.
- They’ve shared that they are in extreme psychological or physical pain.
- They’ve provided details about how they would commit suicide.
- They know someone who has attempted or committed suicide.
- Their family has a history of suicide.
- They have been neglected or abused at home or at school.
- They worry they’re a “burden” or have “no reason” to live.
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2The person discusses literal self-harm. Even if this is the first time that you’ve heard them say “KMS” and follow it up with graphic details about hurting themselves, one case is enough to be alarming. While others who say “KMS” have a light-hearted tone, a person who considers self-harm will focus on how they can inflict real damage upon themselves. Watch for these clues that they are a danger to themselves and need intervention:[6]
- They’ve mentioned cutting, burning, or hitting themselves.
- They say they don’t have the energy for normal routines, like showering.
- They discuss starving themselves or reveal they suffer from an eating disorder.
- They say they abuse substances like alcohol or drugs.
- They talk about scars or wounds on their body.
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3Seek immediate help if you’re worried your friend is in a crisis. Tell any adults you trust—like their parents or a school counselor—that they’ve discussed either suicide or self-harm. Since the information is sensitive, privately share any details that concern you. Then, express that you believe your friend needs additional care, like therapy. Ask adults to intervene right away if your friend says they have a plan for how they’ll harm themselves—this is an emergency situation.[7]
- It’s okay and actually necessary to “tell on” your friend if they’re at risk—when you share any chats that worry you, you can save their life.
- Share a local suicide hotline with your friend. Encourage them to call and open up about their struggles with a trained crisis counselor.
- Remain in touch with your friend and their support figures. If your friend keeps making comments that worry you, tell trusted adults right away.
- If you believe your friend is in danger, call emergency services so crisis professionals can respond. Then, contact your friend’s parents so your friend is not left alone.
Warnings
- If your friend says they plan to commit suicide, stop and get help by calling emergency services such as 911 or 999. If they talk about self harm, ask them to call a suicide hotline:
- In the US: call or text 988, the 988 Suicide and Crisis Lifeline[8]
- In the UK: call 116 123, the Samaritans helpline[9] or 0800 068 41 41, the HOPELineUK
- In Australia, call 13 11 14. The suicide call back service is 1300 659 467, Beyond Blue Support Service[10]
- In India, call 022-2552-1111 to reach the iCall helpline[11]
- For an international directory of suicide hotlines, visit The International Association for Suicide Prevention here or Befrienders Worldwide here.
- If your friend struggles with their mental health, continue to talk to them and encourage them to seek professional help.
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References
- ↑ https://abc13.com/text-slang-what-are-my-kids-saying-using-how-the-talking/1783399/
- ↑ https://hablr.com/what-does-kms-mean/
- ↑ https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC4253372/
- ↑ https://scholar.utc.edu/cgi/viewcontent.cgi?article=1498&context=mps
- ↑ https://afsp.org/risk-factors-protective-factors-and-warning-signs
- ↑ https://www.healthdirect.gov.au/self-harm
- ↑ https://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/suicide/in-depth/suicide/art-20044707
- ↑ https://988lifeline.org/
- ↑ http://www.samaritans.org/how-we-can-help-you/contact-us