How to Tell a Guy You Like Him, when He Likes You Too

Co-authored by Crista Beck

Last Updated: January 31, 2023 Approved

There comes a time in a girl's life where she has to throw caution into the wind and do the things she's always wanted to do. When it comes to a guy, it's hard because guys are the ones who are supposed to ask girls out. Not this time, however. Summon up your courage, remind yourself that the guy already likes you, and ask yourself: What are you waiting for?

Part 1

Part 1 of 2:

Before You Ask Him

1
Remind yourself how confident you should be. If you know for a fact that the guy you like likes you back, that should give you all the confidence in the world. Most people aren't sure at all, or maybe have a hunch. So act confident, because confidence is attractive. It will make a difference.^{[1]
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Research source}
- Before you ask him, tell yourself that you already have the hardest part under control: You've gotten him to like you. Now you just have to act on that attraction. This gets easier as time goes on. The hardest part is the first time you tell him; everything after that is a downhill ride.
2
Continue flirting with him. Giving him hints might even cause him to be more confident and act on his attraction and ask you out!
- Compliment him about something he does well, but teasingly. This will come off flirty and won't bother him because he won't be insecure about something he's really good at:
  - "If I would have known that you'd single-handedly destroy the other football team, I wouldn't have come. I like a little excitement, okay?!"
- Tell him how much you appreciate him. Being a little sarcastic is good, but being sincere is even better:
  - "Hey, thanks for helping me out with that birthday celebration. You make a pretty great friend. Always stay that way."
- Pick him up when he's down. He might not show it the same way that other people show it, but try to recognize when he's not feeling his best:
  - "Don't worry about Felix, okay? He's a jerk and he knows it. Don't let it hurt your confidence. You're way better than him anyway."
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3
Break the touch barrier, if you haven't already. Chances are you're gotten close enough to him that you're experimented a little with touching him in safe places. If you've already done that, great. If you haven't, try some of these little tricks to communicate your affection before you actually come out and say it.^{[2]
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Research source}
- Learn to touch his hand, arm, and shoulder. When you're making a point, reach over and casually touch his hand. When you're reminding him of something or trying to be really serious, touch his arm or the back of his shoulder. It should send shivers down his spine.
- Hang or rest on his shoulder. Pretend to be bored and rest your head on his shoulder. Or simply rest your hands on his shoulder. Give him a good look in his eyes if he looks back at you.

Part 2

Part 2 of 2:

Asking Him

1
Plan a special day together. This could be a date, or something that you guys regularly do, like walk to the corner store for a soda. He doesn't have to know that it's a date, but if he asks whether it's a date, tell him you'd want it to be. That will tell a guy that you like him without actually going out and saying it.
- You can try something like:
  - "Hey, my dad got me these two tickets for a movie on Saturday, but my best friend bailed, so I was wondering if you wanted to be an even-better friend and come with me?"
  - "I've been meaning to go on this hike past Malibu for ages and I need a hiking partner. Are you doing anything on Sunday?"
2
While on your date or excursion, keep the conversation up and the flirting going. This is for building rapport, or chemistry. You don't want to just blurt out that you like him. You want to slowly build up to it, waiting for just the right moment.
- Talk about things that he likes talking about, for example. Build up chemistry by asking him questions about subjects that he's enthusiastic about. Once he gets going, the conversation should really begin to flow, and you probably won't have to do all that much talking.
- Talk about funny things. Laughter is great for chemistry. Tell inside jokes that you only share with him. Gently tease him, remembering to touch him on the arm or shoulder. Just be silly with him; ask him to give you a piggyback ride, or get him to do an impression of one of your teachers.
3
Right before you ask him, go through your checklist. Make sure you have a couple of crucial things under control right before you ask him. If you're in a public place, excuse yourself and go to the bathroom for a moment. While you're there, check:
- That your breath smells nice. If he swoops in for a kiss, you want to be ready. Pop a mint into your mouth.
- That your hair and makeup looks great. Touch up your lips with a little balm (not gloss and definitely not lipstick) and make sure you're looking your best.
- That you're confident. If you have no confidence, it's best to wait until you can ask him with confidence. Don't worry though, you have no reason to worry!
4
Go out and tell him. Wait for the right moment and just come out with it.^{[3]
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Expert Source

Crista Beck
Dating Coach & Matchmaker
Expert Interview. 26 August 2021.} Maybe wait until the end of the date, so there's no awkwardness after you confess your feelings, and he does his.^{[4]
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Research source} Here's a couple different options.
- Short and sweet: "Maybe you've already noticed this, but I really like you. I was hoping you felt the same and we could do this again next weekend."
- Long and heartfelt: "This is really hard to do but I need to do it. Ever since we've become friends, I started liking you. It came slow at first. And then I noticed how funny you are, and it came a little more. When I really started having conversations with you, I felt it even more. And right now, right here, I feel it most of all."
5
Wait for his response. You've given him the perfect opportunity to open up to you, and he better take it. You should be getting a really nice, or even romantic response from him. Remember to smile and look at his eyes. This should give him the confidence to kiss you, but if he doesn't, don't worry.
6
Plan the next date. Maybe he'll just plan the next date automatically after you tell him how you feel. If so, that's great. Still, he might need a little nudging. In that case, say something like:
- "So I was thinking that we could do something like this again sometime. Because I set this one up, will you set the next one up? I'm really easy to please, I promise. I'm a sucker for movies, walks on the beach, or shopping. But I also like to be surprised!"

Expert Q&A

Question

How do you tell a shy guy you like him without scaring him?

Crista Beck
Dating Coach & Matchmaker
Crista Beck is a Dating and Relationship Coach and Matchmaker. With over a decade of experience, she specializes in helping people become open to love and find a partner. Crista has been featured in numerous media sources such as ABC, NBC, Fox, and TEDx. She is also the author of the book, Break The Glass Slipper: Free Yourself from Fairy Tale Fantasies and Find True Love in Real Life. Crista holds a BS in Communication Studies with a focus on Interpersonal Communication from The University of Texas at Austin.

Crista Beck

Dating Coach & Matchmaker

Expert Answer

Try to give him the opportunity to share his feelings first instead of jumping right into the conversation. Once he shares his feelings, you can let him know how you're feeling as well.
Question

How long should you wait to tell him you like him?

Crista Beck
Dating Coach & Matchmaker
Crista Beck is a Dating and Relationship Coach and Matchmaker. With over a decade of experience, she specializes in helping people become open to love and find a partner. Crista has been featured in numerous media sources such as ABC, NBC, Fox, and TEDx. She is also the author of the book, Break The Glass Slipper: Free Yourself from Fairy Tale Fantasies and Find True Love in Real Life. Crista holds a BS in Communication Studies with a focus on Interpersonal Communication from The University of Texas at Austin.

Crista Beck

Dating Coach & Matchmaker

Expert Answer

You don't have to wait if you don't want to! Instead, look for an opportunity when you're alone together to say something like "I have feelings for you" or "I like you."

Warnings

Finally, always make sure that this guy likes you. Rumors are ghosts, but boys are humans.

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Helpful 183 Not Helpful 23
Response of guy may be one that you won't like.

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If you show insecurity by asking questions like 'does this skirt make me look fat', he will think you're vain and high-maintenance.

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If you're in high school, rumors spread fast so be careful who you tell about this 'secret' crush.

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If this guy seems like a popular player who totally loves girls and has a huge, negative history with them, this guy may only be interested in you because you seem like the girl who will give him 'a good time' - you can do much better than that!

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